Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

Dara's
Is harder
But nevertheless no thanks

Giorgio, Giorgio Locatelli
Cook me some of your spaghetti
Make me some Sicilian bruschetta
For dessert there's Viennetta
And if I find you lack in flavour
I can always pull that nice Jay Raynor

Oh Richard, Oh Richard,
with your smoldering eyes
Oh please will you give me a lovely surprise?
With your dark, brooding looks
And your body of an adonis
Oh Richard of Armitage,
I'd do you good, that I promise.

You can take me as Gisbourne,
Thornton or Lucas,
You can take me up Sherwood
And sample my mucus (so, so, sorry - but what else rhymes with Lucas?)
To the mills in the North,
Or the cells deep in Russia
Just give me a moment
To make you my luvva.

(wine and Googling images of Mr Armitage - much more acceptable than admitting a crush on Daniel Radcliffe)

Bazookas BrianCox but it'd scan all funny (the least of your problems, though, let's be honest).

The Purity of the Brian Cox Ode Preservation Society have gone, have they?

Point taken and agreed LineRunner.

As for 'Bazookas', damn! Why didn't I think of that

Just like to apologise once more.

I'm sure the crudeness has been sampled elsewhere in the thread though

Bless you BrianCox.

BRIAN COX IS A GOD. DOWN ON YOUR KNEES ALL WHO CUM BEFORE HIM

Brian! Brian!!
He's not a just a boy, he's a very naughty messiah.

Just THINK how funny it would be if Coxs' missus is on here

Ginger Benedict
You filthy posh boy you with
Kissy lower lip

Haiku, innit.

Bloke off Birdsong
Your lips are all wrong.
And what's with the staring?
Tis rather wearing.

Mr George Clarke, stop this senseless waste.
Leave your poncey architect's easel and, I say, make haste,
To mount your watertower I'd climb a whole spiral staircase.

Hammer my purlins and I'll screw down your cross member
Hoist up the scaffolding, grab me by the timbers.
While we're up on the roof, have a look at my thatch.

fin.

'I'll screw down your cross member'

[vom] at thought of George C having a look at my thatch or otherwise getting intimate, though.

Genius. Genius.

Thanks for starting the thread, OP! Haven't written a shite haiku for ages.

J C Novelli
Him off the telly
I'll make your souffles rise
While you crimp my pies....

Alan Rickman
Are you a thick man?
Or will. We. Just. Have. To.

Wait. With. Hope. In. Our. Bowel.

Whilst. You. Savour. A. Vowel?

Oh Chester Bennington
Please can we get it on
What I've done
Is hint at some fun
And in the morning I'd be gone.

The aurora borealis
Has been seen from Hadrian's Wall
just this past week
What a special breaching of the frontier
Professor Brian Cox
Could do with me

Oh Greg Wise
Let me know the size
Of your
member

Johnny Depp, has Vanessa kicked you out?
Never fear, do not whinge,
Come and live with me
and I'll show you my minge.

Professor Brian Cox
Godlike, my Apollo
For you alone I think that I could
Sputnik and then swallow

Beautifully put

Brian cox
Check out my box
My Venus is rising
How's Uranus doing?

I'm inspired by the subject matter.