Oh. My toaster has gone missing.

[CauldronsTrulyReign]

There's just a big gap on the work surface well, besides some crumbs.

What the actual croissant?

Maybe your toaster was at the very epicentre of a rift in time and space. Perhaps it has fallen through and has been catapulted through dimensions.

Perhaps yours is the very toaster that made Winston Churchill his toast on the morning of D-Day.

Perhaps it made the toast that Prince William ate on his wedding day.

Perhaps it made breakfast for Neil Armstrong as he prepared to embark on an epic mission to the moon.

Or perhaps, just perhaps, it's just made breakfast for that hairy, shifty looking bloke down the rode.

I need to know what has happened to Chaos' toaster.

Heh, bread knife.

Could it have spontaneously combusted and those crumbs are all that's left?

This is more exciting then a live birth thread!

I have to go do the school run. Chaos please update soon!

This is like Booble Plate all over again.

Damn that Hadron Collider

Cauldrons

Has your toaster been 'done'? It is very irresponsible of you if you haven't had it 'done'.

How do you think I ended up with more than one toaster?

It will be with the Dirty Gertie of the toaster world having it off and it will be all your fault.

[glares at Cauldrons]

[turns around]

[turns back and glares again]

I'm worried about Chaos.
I'm worried she went off into the woods alone to find her toaster, despite the warnings of the creepy old Appalachian man with only two teeth she met on the road when her car broke down.

I'll be honest: I'm thinking hand-held camera and heavy breathing audio fx.

How very bizarre. Any news on the missing toaster?

Oh yes I loved the booble plate thread. Who did the booble plate belong to?

Lindsay

Do you think she has turned up at the house with the blood on the door yet?

You know the one. It has two little attic windows and when they are lit up at night they resemble evil eyes staring out into the inky blackness.

The house she was told to avoid by the old wise woman...........

maybe it will turn up in germany saying it's been living rouge in the woods as is ' all alone in the world.....'

first the toaster

now Chaos

However, in the meantime let me add my disappearing kitchen implement story.

'small knife' went missing, was replaced. 'small knife no 2' went missing. Then 'middle knife' went missing.

Started getting a bit nervous, spent a few days imagining that a psychopath was breaking into my kitchen, and stealing my kitchen knives in preparation to murder me in my sleep.

Then had a rational think about it and decided that we were throwing knives away in empty pizza boxes after we'd used them.

Anyway, where do all those teaspoons bloody go to?

I'm scared.

The same place as baby socks. I blame the borrowers

And what's 'living rouge', minimuffy? Sounds saucy.

Well I have lost the friggin bottom of my flan pan. You know the loose bottom.

All I am left with is a frilly ring

So to speak

Spoons go in our house too, but my weirdest 'lose' is the strainer bit off my lemon juicer. You know, the ring with the holes in that collects the pips? 'tis gone! It usually lives with the rest of the juicer in the random baking bollocks implement drawer, was washed and put away, then went to get it to make a lemon drizzle and it was not there! I made a Victoria sponge instead but it's not the point!

It isn't "t" day for show and tell at school, is it?

Zombies, maybe? [clutches at straws]