What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

Got a black eye from DH's knee during rather gymnastic sex... the night before my parents visited

Shot myself in the leg at point blank range with a high powered air pistol. Pellet lodged 2mm from my femoral artery. The staff at the little hospital nearby were thrilled and all came to look, not many GSW there, apparently.

Picked up the roast tray straight from the oven without gloves on. Made it half way across the room before I realised. Decided to continue to the table rather than waste the meat. Why have I done this more than once?

I'm sure there are more...

I have only read the first 20 or so posts of this thread and have to stop before the uncontrollable laughter causes premature labour. Seriously. Would make a good post on my return from hosp but probs not worth it.

I will return when I need cheering up or want to bring on labour

I got a zip tooth stuck up my nose whilst working in New Look - we had to 'spoil' returns that did not have labels on and the easiest way was to pick a seam and rip them.

Silver hoody struck back when I gave an extra hard tug - rip went through the zip and a tooth came flying off - straight up my nose and stuck there!!

I have never laughed so much - ever

I've got some lovely scars from hedge surfing...drunkenly thought it would be a good idea.

Damaged my back when dh and I had a quickie in the shower; went to hospital laying across the back seat of the car, and had to be pulled out headfirst as I could not move.

Had my left wrist broken practising judo with my aunt - she fell and sat on my arm!

I am notoriously accident prone, and am forever walking into things, falling over and into things. I've even managed to get stuck between seats on a bus

I thought of a couple more while I couldn't sleep because the damn splint is so frikkin uncomfortable.

I broke my foot letting my rabbit out of its cage.

I broke my arm at first school doing that skipping thing where you link arms with a friend and chant "mother and me went out to tea, shut the door and turned the key". When you say 'turn' your arms are linked in such a way that you can both turn around without letting go. We tried it with three people. Not so successful.

Dh broke my arm once when I was trying to bite his nipple! I'm incredibly ticklish and I was desperate to stop him tickling me so I lunged for his nipple. He grabbed my wrist to stop me and, snap. That was fun to explain to the hospital. They offered me social services and only believed it was a genuine accident when they met my (6'4 rugby playing) dh and neither of us could speak for laughing.

Ouch at most of yours!

Last week DS broke his big toe after tripping in a Moshi Monster card and yesterday I had an itchy eye and while scratching it I managed to get my eyelid stuck in my wedding ring and scrape a bit of skin off it. Does not look to bad but it was really painfull.

I was once kneeling over the bath washing my hair at my mums and I felt something go "ping" and was stuck! I couldn't move, I had to call DH, who had do the opening the door from the outside with a knife trick. He had to finish rinsing my hair, towel dry it, wrap a towel round me and somehow manouver me upstair onto the bed

We ended up styaing at my mums for 10 days because I couldn't sit for 8 hours in a car to go home. i was on diazepam, co-codamola nd diclofenic and had to be helped with everythin .

I also broke a toe.
I droped a big size tin of beans on it. It hurt like hell and a big brusie came up. I went off to work, where I managed to get a big stock trolley stuck, and tried to move it with.......the foot on which I had the sore toe, so it hurt even more.
Then at work i dropped a bottle of shampoo on same toe, followed 10 mintues later by a box of 6 jars of babyfood. By this point I was in tears and pharamcist sent me home, and I ahd to go to A&E where it was discoverd I'd broken it - I'm not surprsied though!

I sprained my wrist playing badminton and had to write my GCSE exams with my left hand as I couldn't move the right. It was such a bad sprain it took years to physio to fix

I almost removed the ring finger on my left hand (at the same time cutting 2 others) while trying to cut a vacuum mould out of a forming with a stanley knife.

I did remove the tip of my pointing finger on my left hand while chopping an onion. Luckily we have good kitchen knives so the cut was clean, and for a few moments, painless. My fingernail now looks a bit weird though as the nail bed hasn't properly grown back.

I also have a scar on my forehead from where I collapsed an ironing board down on myself when I was a toddler

I got a black eye once when I was doing ds's coat up bending over him and he jumped up.

when I was a teenager I had a pony. part of the maintainance job was to cut the long grass on the paddockwith a scythe/sling blade. I though I was beeing clever avoiding to walk all the way to the gate and lifted the scythe up and over the fence. cut my leg. 10cm long 2 cm deep. only felt it when the blood dribbled down the leg. the blade was very sharp.

Broke my partners (at the time) nose during sex.

. . . with my knee!

Hurt my shoulder just over a year ago. Doing ballroom dancing. It still hurts, currently sat with a wheat bag and dosed up on naproxen.

The funny thing is, I rode horses for years and never hurt myself more than a bruised bum when I fell off. I go and do ballroom dancing and injure myself.

I must thank you OP! I am sat here with my arm in a splint as I fell up stairs on Friday and have damaged the tendons in my wrist too.

People keep telling me that its such a daft thing to do that I need to come up with a better story. Kneading Marzipan is brilliant!

My Mum still holds the record for my favorite daft injury. She was playing space invaders years ago on an arcade machine. She beat the high score, jumped up with joy, and promptly hit her head on the jutty out bit at the top. She woke up in casulty and has forever on her medical records 'Knocked out by a Space Invader' which makes all Drs give her a look

Gave myself a massive bruise on my hand from a large cast iron type chandelier, after jumping too excitedly to The Only Way is Up. Defence, I was 13 at the time so it was still a groovy choon rather than political mantra.

Also broke a metatarsal dancing, whacked it on the wall MYbe I need to give up dancing.

I slipped on ice one winter and managed to give myself a trimalleolar fracture (ankle), a patella fracture and tearing of all the surrounding tendons plus a break across the back of my hand on the same side . Emergency surgery, plates and pins and I was in casts for 8 weeks, then splints for another 6.

8 years on and I still have one pin holding my ankle together and no feeling in 3 of my toes. The injury has now affected my hip and back, so I'm pretty much biffed.

When I fall I do it goooooood!

I fell our of a hot tub and badly burnt my nork on a tiki torch.

Oh and less painful (no injuries) but far more ironic was the time I fell asleep at the wheel on the M1 and crashed the car........into a 'Tiredness Kills' sign

You were lucky there LED!

I cut into my fingertips with a knife - I was holding the butter in one hand and cutting down into it with a sharp knife. I have no idea why I thought that was a good technique. It really hurt, blood everywhere, I was trying to bake with dd - you'd think that was a fairly safe.. I called my mum.

Scalded the skin of my stomach by pressing down too hard, too soon on a full cafetiere of coffee. I can only imagine that a lot of steam pressure built up. The top flew off and a coffee fountain went all over the office kitchen and aforementioned stomach (I was wearing a flimsy T-shirt that skimmed my waistband, so some coffee hit the skin direct, some went through the T-shirt. If fucking hurt. but at least I got a day off work to go to A&E

I fell off a bouncy castle when I was eight. It wasn't off the high side, but the bit where you get on and off. Did something to the ligaments in my left leg that meant it was in plaster from ankle to thigh for three months.

When I was about 12 I was given a hard back edition of Ivanhoe and I dozed off in bed reading it. It flopped forward onto myface and gave me a black eye and bruised nose.

My mother won't let me forget either of these.

Gave myself a corneal abrasion (painful)! whilst flicking through a newspaper. The glossy ad insert jumped up and caught my eye. \ I was wearing glasses at the time.....

Broke wrist roller skating in a tiled kitchen

I went to flop onto my bed face first and completely missed. Bashed my face and broke my glasses which had fallen on the floor earlier.