to wonder if you do weird things when you think you're not observed?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

say thank you to cashpoint machines?

say excuse me if you rumble?

open your mouth when applying massacre?

steal sample some of the meal when you're plating up?

read the end of the book before the rest?

shout at the television?

talk to the animals?

pretend you're a firebreathing dragon on a frosty morning?

wear pants in your hair when you can't find a bobble?

shove a few dirty things in the dishwasher and rewash clean stuff, to save emptying it?

drink the milk from a bowl of cereal?

Obviously these are pretty rhetorical, please feel free to add your own queries.

I save snails. It can take me bloody ages to walk up the road when its been raining. I move them to a wall so they wont get srunched. Specially the really teeny ones. I cant bear the thought of them toiling away up the street for hours only to get stepped on

i save them too! even though it makes me cringe picking them up ! the tiny ones are sooo cute though. I once photographed a snail (on macro lens) eating some of my cake. It really enjoyed it and the detail came out really well with crumbs all over it's 'face'

MixedClassBaby - I do the "bing bong" thing over the Uni Challenge theme tune too! I also pretend I'm the announcer and I say "University Challenge. Asking the questions...Jeremy Paxman!"

I enjoy saying "Yarp" and "Narp" in answer to questions ever since I saw Hot Fuzz. Ocassionally, I've forgotten that I'm not at home and I've said it to some strangers. As in - "So, meadowlarks, have you considered our tax-free ISA?" "Yarrrrp."

I can also only hoover to the tune of "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. I've worked out a full routine where I sweep in and out to the beat and swing the hoover round on the solo. Logically, I dust to "Another One Bites the Dust". The rhythm's a bit slower on that one but I like to take the time to do my best disco moves as I reach into the corners.

That sounds lovely! A baby snail eating cake awwww

When I was in my 20s i used to climb out on a precarious flat roof to sunbathe. I nearly bloody killed myself rescuing a millipede thingy because it was frying. I was also on the phone at the time, wearing a bikini.

The workmen down below thought it was their birthday and Christmas come at once

The cake eater was a big whopping snail! The story behind it is i was trying to get over my slug phobia .Thought i would start with snails..picked up a big one (by the shell..am not that brave!)) and put it on garden bench. Then thought myself very brave to touch its 'feelers'..my ex came out and asked why i was prodding the poor thing in its EYES!!! yes i had got to something like 35 yrs of age, not realising their eyes are out on stalks and are in fac not feelers/antennae...he gave it some of his coffee cake by way of compensation, and it went down a treat..they have really weird mouthparts that open and close like a strange flower..would'nt have seen it without macro

I hate slugs. When I moved to my house it was the first time I had a garden. It was a very damp summer. I had never seen so many slugs. ORANGE ones! Big ones and little ones and they are so disgusting. I planted my first flower - a lily. They ate it ALL over night. It disappeared.

I like snails though. I think they are cute. Except when I go to put the rubbish out at night without anything on my feet and tread on one. THAT is beyond disgusting.

orange slugs !!!!!!!!!!retch retch. please remind me of them next week when i start a strict diet and have food cravings!!

i once saw a documentary where David Bellamy ATE a large slug

I fart closely by the cat to make him jump. I have never admitted that to anyone.

YY to the monologues - I always talk to myself when cooking or in the kitchen.

I drive along pulling faces at myself in the rear view mirror. I am amazed I haven't crashed yet.

When I go over those yellow strips that they put on the roads to make you slow down (and they make a loud buuf buuf buuf noise as you go over them too fast) I turn it into a Prodigy song and start punching the air and singing and shaking my head like Keith Flint.

After blow drying my hair I often come out the dressing room swishing my hair slo mo singing 'Like you've just stepped out of a saloooooooon - salon selectives. I do that with DD and DP in the house - they are used to it now.

Do you sing woah bodyfooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmm sometimes too?

yep. and hohoho, green giant...

haha - yes. DD uses bodyform pads - I have sung 'whoah bodyform' in Sainsburys. She was disgusted with me. Mind you she hates shopping with me, dance about in order to piss her off.

i wear socks with flipflops after a bath. If my DP catches me he goes mad! admittedly not an attactive look (or particularly comfortable either)

GetOrf will you be my mum big sister? :o

DH pointed out to me today a lady standing outside our house. She was standing with her back to the our lounge window and she was having a real good scratch! I have no idea what was irritating her arse but the way she was going at it, I am surprised she didnt pull a kidney out :o

Obviously the street was clear so she thought she was safe, but didnt consider that there might be someone behind the window :o

Best bit of the ritualistic sainsbruy's humiliation I always do to DD was when they were playing Dizzee Rascal's Dance With Me in the record bit in there. For some reason I know all the words to the rap bit, and I proceeded to rap it in the poultry aisle. According to dd 'you have ruined that song for me forever, mum'

Trilli - you can have the bastard thats trying to wander over my laptop as I type!

Her names Purdie by the way.

All you people with cats and dogs are reassuringly mad and I salute you.

I talk to my guinea pigs and they talk back. The other day one of them responded with some witty repartee and I laughed - like I wasn't expecting it or something.

All dogs announce, 'Look at me!' in the same 'dog voice' I have used since childhood. I was so proud of ds when, as a toddler, he spied a dog from the car and did the phrase and the voice.

So glad it's not just me who talks back at self-service checkouts: 'An unexpected item in the bagging area? What - like my shopping, you mean?' And the satnav. Both the dc now back-chat 'Emily' when she says, 'Recalculating...'

I mix Heinz beans with peas and eat them.

jettah if you step on each one and say 'toast' then it cancels them out. Yes I do.

I though I was the only trolley surfer that gets horrified looks from the other shoppers entering the aisle (as I'm getting to my world record distance)

my grandad was always singing the bodyform song - i don't think he knew what they were

another cat flyer here - we have a rather portly dog who waits for his turn to fly too (v serious expression on his face all four paws rigid pointing to the ground)

I love this thread , don't do anything odd as far as I can remember, but was feeling earlier that the world was full of twats. You can't play peekaboo with a dog, or tango a baby and be a twat, I feel it in my bones. Has really cheered me up, people are batty, but fab.

all pets have a voice and all other dogs we see too

And just try having a shit with a cat sat on your head. I just knew that the bathroom door had a lock for a reason.