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Original poster

Things you learned the hard way not to do again

464 replies

ItsJustAName · 02/03/2011 22:39

Okay, so I was out and about and needed the loo and popped in to a public toiler. Only when finished did I realise there was no loo roll.

Never fear, I knew I had fresh handypack of hankies in my handbag.

I used one.

Shock Blush Shock

Olbas oil infused hankies do not leave you with a pleasant sensation when used as loo roll lol. Grin

OP posts:
MrsChemist · 03/03/2011 20:38

Southwestwhippet, DH did something similar with a rubber duck. He squished it on his forehead so it would stick there.

It left him with what could only be described as a rubber duck love bite on his forehead.

BecauseImWorthIt · 03/03/2011 20:40

When it has been snowing, and there's about 4 inches of frozen snow on your car, that has been there for over a week - don't turn your windscreen wipers on to clear the windscreen.

The blades will be frozen to the screen, and the weight of frozen snow will be such that it will wreck not only the wiper blades but also the motor.

And it will cost you more than £300 to have fixed.

melodyangel · 03/03/2011 20:42

It's slightly worrying that we are the guardians of the next generation.

Mine are

Don't use lillets after chopping chilis.

Don't wax your bikini line a two days before your EDD.

Oh and on my DP's behalf

Don't have very vigorous sex two days after having the snip.

whomovedmychocolate · 03/03/2011 20:43

Do not argue with the man in the Audi who is trying to nick the last space in the car park of the business you have an interview with in 20 minutes, he will turn out to be the interviewer and you will not get the job.

whysolate · 03/03/2011 20:43

ladyinpink Trust me, just don't mention it!

TooManyButtons Disclaimer: Whyso accepts no responsibility for damage (repairable or otherwise) caused to TV by placing a magnet on (or anywhere near)it.

I learned the hard way not to do it again!

Invisiblesoul · 03/03/2011 20:44

I had the hangover from hell, I mean worst ever. And my best friend was on the phone "helping" me through it. She sent me the link for blue waffle as I was moaning that I wanted something sweet. I was VIOLENTLY sick.

Schulte · 03/03/2011 20:44

AndRMum - did you tongue get stuck? Grin

happybubblebrain · 03/03/2011 20:45

Don't pour cement down the drain, unless you like sticking your hands in regularly to unblock it.

mummypontipine · 03/03/2011 20:48

don't touch a fence just to check that your dd was right when she said it was an elecric fence

don't bite down on your keyring so as not to shout at arguing dc's as it can result in a broken tooth

don't put your finger in boiling sugar to check it's at the right temp while warning ds how hot boiling sugar is

happybubblebrain · 03/03/2011 20:50

Don't use the sink as a bin, unless you like regularly unblocking that too.

Snuppeline · 03/03/2011 20:52

Oh Lauzifer I can't stop laughing!!! My addition would be: don't apply new face mask to face before a hot date. Tomato red and itchy does not make for snogging!

ZuzuBailey · 03/03/2011 20:53

Don't lean over your scented wax burner to blow out the tealight inside it. Molten wax is very hot and sticks to your face.

AandRMum · 03/03/2011 20:55

Tongue thoroughly stuck schulte - brother then poured boiling water over it to unstick me! Talked with a Rocky-like voice for a week.

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 20:55

Another one, from just now:

When reversing your car, don't assume you know better than the parking sensor which is beeping madly, even though you can't see anything behind you. There WILL be a recycling box right behind you, you WILL run it over, it WILL wedge itself under the car, and you will crack the bumper while trying to drag the bastard thing out remove it.

It's dh's car. Fuck.

AandRMum · 03/03/2011 20:56

LOL Grin Southwest I can so imagine doing that!

MavisEnderby · 03/03/2011 20:56

Do NOT if you are a stupid Northerner from the sticks and visiting London,get off at Russell Square tube station,frown at the queue waiting for the lift,and say "Come on ds,lets take the stairs,I'm not waiting around in this queue".175 steps of spiral staircase later you will be craving oxygen and a defibrillator.

mrsmillsfanclub · 03/03/2011 20:57

Do not try to act sexy with the swarthy, turkish chip shop owner. Do not lean alluringly over his scalding hot cabinet of cod, pies and saveloy, or you will end up with small burn marks on your side still slightly visable in 20 years time Blush
A 15yr old with a kylie perm in a greasy chippy was never going to seduce him anyway.

whomovedmychocolate · 03/03/2011 20:57

May I add to TooManyButton's post: do not assume there will be no-one parked behind you on your own driveway and just start reversing Blush

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 20:58

Zuzu My dh did that at a works do - leaned over to blow a candle out and splashed himself in the face with molten wax. What makes it all the more hilarious is that he was there in his professional capacity - as a health & safety manager...

ziptoes · 03/03/2011 20:58

...try to go to the loo in a Virgin Pendolino train with a baby in tow. The floor of train toilets is not the nicest place to leave a baby while you pee, and the baby changer is positioned right over the loo leaving you only about 2 foot of space to cram yourself in to pee, which makes it likely you'll miss the loo and pee all over the floor, which is probably one of the reasons that the toilets are so grungy in the first place.

(apologies to all the passengers who used the loo after me and DS)

probably designed by young men with no kids.

Oh, and don't perch the changing bag on the sink - the taps come on automatically!

teenyanne · 03/03/2011 20:58

Check that you know where the stick to hold the car bonnet up goes in before trying to fill water / check oil level. When it falls down, it's rather painful and could end with near decapitation / cracked skull or at the very least mild concussion and feeling rather like a stupid woman who should have left car things to her dh. Blush

Indaba · 03/03/2011 20:59

and on behalf of my husband, do not shout swear, hoot and flash headlights at Porsche driver who cuts you up.....then run into the back of his Porsche :)

MigratingCoconuts · 03/03/2011 21:00

I learned not to open a wood fire air vent with my fingers when I was a kid...

I also learned not to stick a coffee bean up my nose....( I was 3, ok!)

and I learned not to stick my fingers in the spokes of a spinning bike wheel...(again, 3)

Hmm its amazing I have any fingers left now I think about it.

However, the horse worming tablet story is my personal fave too Grin

Wotznotnow · 03/03/2011 21:04

If you get told on MN not to google something DON"T (faints)

FourFortyFour · 03/03/2011 21:07

Do not use your fingers to wipe of food off the mixer while it is switched on. I think I haven't done this again.

Don't switch the blender/food mixer on without the lid on.

Another one who has cleaned the razor blade with my finger more than once Hmm but I do it very carefully Hmm.