D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

The school says that there are bugs going round there, and she doesn't really go anywhere else, so I'm pretty sure it is. The school admit they have a problem - mums keep sending their sick kids back too soon, so the bugs keep circulating. I've had to pick her up twice in teh past fortnight as she has vomited at school, and now they both have it really bad. Poor ds1 has a temp and is very lethargic too.

We had a run of bugs here recently. They do go around and they are annoying, but it's not the school it's just one of those things. You may need to keep DD off longer when she gets a bug and not send her back as soon as she seems better. Hopefully as the weather improves the bugs will disappear. Sorry the little ones have been ill.

sorry marslady, can't remember how old your older 3 are? My dd sorts herself out in the mornings but I have to continually encourage(nag really!) my 7 1/2 ds to get ready, or get on with the next thing. he is so slow, drifts off into a daze......

don't worry doll, can't remember myself half the time lol. DS1 is 12, DD1 is 10, DD2 is 6. DS1 and DD1 are good at sorting themselves out. It's DD2 that's the problem. It takes about 3 days to get her to get fully dressed, shoes on and out the door. We started yesterday to get her ready for school tomorrow. The joys. Gotta go out now.

Aw you girls, I miss you, not been on for few days. DP off this week which is different and never what you think its gona be!!! Should stick to tried and tested routine to gain most sleep but you always try to include something else in the day which changes everything..... I can't come online cos I haven't let him in on MN secret! He'd be glad for me and would enjoy the laughs but then I couldn't be so free with my feelings if I needed a rant about THE MIL!! He's gone for Chinese food (yahoo, a real life!!) so I jumped at the chance.

Watso313, my DP is away a lot of the week and I do it alone so i know a bit how you must be. At least he tends to come home Thursday nights. I hope you're ok. Is it better or worse he's gone?

Kelly all your babies are lovely! I can only work out the technicalities of an ice cube tray so there's no hope I could post mine!

2many, how did you're kids take to the wine? If good, I'll give it a go .

Mars, you'll be glad to know I had a leg wax last night. Lovely italian lady came to my house but she's only just finished training so was paaaaiiiinfuuuuul. I don't have much luck with hair (2 much and 2 little in differing areas) so am thinking of campaigning for fashionable leg, pit and upper lip hair. There must be others, surely I'm not a minority......

Going to fill my wobbly belly and make the skin fit again!!!! x

p.s. had a biiiig gin and the world is looking like such an all singing, all dancing place. Shame reality kicks in the minute the crying starts and the solo flying comes back, but until then.....

p.p.s. don't want you to think I can't live up to my name. I'm still doing the emotional rollercoaster big time (yabloodyhoo). And naked legs hasn't sorted the frumpy.

ok fg. With regards to the piccies you can email saint george (start a thread calling her) and she will post the piccies for you. She does that for me and for others.

Ouch! Maybe you shouldn't get a NQTherapist next time.

My DTs are currently doing the s.... thing. Won't say it out loud or it will end.

About to watch Life isn't all....ha ha..hee hee at 9 on BBC1

Life going well, though the DTs ran me ragged at babygroup this morning.

Enjoy your evening.

dt2 did the s thing last night!! 10.30 - 5 Shame dt1 was up every 2 hours tho!

Hi fg nice to see u not left us!

ML, got ur email, thanks loads.

Well, Kelly, tell, tell, is the s thing happening?

DD has been really unwell (ended up at hospital on Saturday as her temperature was uncontrolable). Better now just very heavy cold, a virus they say! DTs teething and DT1 sleeping badly still. Life is a joy!

Feeling ok though (DP away early morning today for rest of week after week off) but I'll probably be a greasy, sniffling spot by Wednesday. Hey, you can't keep a good frump down .

I am meant to see counselling lady on Friday morning. Not sure whether to go. The herbal stuff might be working or maybe I just do denial so well even I believe it... Mmmmn. Don't really want to make an a* of myself by turning into a blubbing wreck in a public place. I really go red big style and eyelids puff, nose looks like Po from Teletubbies, that sort of thing..... . Any thoughts?

Wrinkly ol moo face lush calling similar.....

Either the telly is good or everyone else is doing that mother thing really well and I'm the only one skipping out....

I think fg that we are all too knackered to reply. I just had bookgroup at mine for the first time since the DTs were born. It was going really well until DT2 woke. He fed a bit and went back to sleep really quickly. After another hour DT1 woke and didn't go down quickly at all. Then just as she finally fell asleep, DT2 made his second appearance. It was a success but I could've done without seeing the DTs. Ah well........... the joys the joys

Hope all finally well at yours!

Hi Fg,
did u go to the counselling? How was it? I had counselling after I left exh, and found it really good, but I think it depends on the counsellor, the first one was crap!

The twins are def getting good at the s thing! They going to bed abt 8-9ish havign a feed before we go bed at 10ish then they only wake once before 7.30. It's really great getting so much sleep at night, but it does mean they area awake nearly all day!

It seems harder in a way, cos I can't get much at all done during the day. So instead we've been gallavanting all over the place. Been to Brighton, Sutton and Cheam, off to Battersea park tomo. Babies have been bfed on Brighton pier, and had nappies changed in moving railway carriages - just having to learn to avoid the disgusted looks!!

They are growing so fast tho - Ravi wants to be bolt upright all the time, and they are both cooing and smiling loads. It's lovely that they play a bit but they are growing up too fast. I wasnt them to stay as babies!

Wow this is a long thread and it's been an eye opener reading all the entries - my name is Emily I have non-id boy twins aged 6 months. Edward and Arthur are a joy at the moment, even though Edward wakes every night 2 or 3 times (they both have nasty coughs so I have forgiven him, but why he can't fall back to sleep like his brother I don't know).

I was so nice to see that I'm not alone, feeling the way I do. One day top of the world "this mum to twins lark is a doddle, what was I moaning about", then complete rock bottom the next "why oh why did I get pregnant and why did it have to be twins, does someone up there not like me?" Then the guilt kicks in, I love my boys dearly, wouldn't change them for the world BUT, we're skint, at each other throats, tired, depressed etc etc and some days you just can't face smiling!

I'm back at work full time now and I have to say, its been the turn around point for me - unlike most of you ladies I don't have a gaggle of other older children, so have got things easier, but once we're up and out the house and they are dropped off at nursery I can be me for 8 hours solid! THEN evenings are all about making the most of them as I've not seen them all day, so even if they yell I don't mind as I've not had to listen to it all day.

It also seems since they turned 6 months (on wednesday) they been little angels! weird!

Also was having HUGE issues with DH being a complete ar*e, 'cuse my french, claimed he was tired all the time and that I was deliberately winding him up (like I'd chose to have him in a bad mood, idiot)...I couldn't have a go as he is very helpful with household chores - does all the cooking, makes up the bottles for the following day, helps with bathtime, cleans, does washing...but sometimes, just sometimes I would have prefered it if he helped with the boys instead and I could do some chores - plus he was constantly critical, both boys had tummy bugs and if it wasn't coming out one end it was coming out the other and I was always covered in it. Instead of offering to feed one while i did the other I got "why has he been sick again Emily, what are you doing wrong?" etc etc...like I said WAS having issues - he's now on a healthy eating diet (he needs to lose approx 5 stone) and surprisingly his tolerance level has gone up and we can actually TALK to each other without falling out. So would appear that eating crap can make u crap!

I've just had a very emotional friend on the phone, so must go and be a counsellor. Speak soon I hope, this is a great thread.

hi Meeely2. Sorry, I hadn't seen your post before. Congratulations on the boys. Glad to read by the end that your DH was getting better.

Not a lot to say just now as I'm knackered and currently feeding DT1 so that she will go back to bed.

Welcome to the multiples threads. Hope to talk with you soon.

Where are you fg? Did you forget all about us? lol

Hi Meely,
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who sometimes thinks why did I have twins! I feel guilty for thinking it, and I woudn't change them for the world but it is hard work sometimes. My dts are now 11 weeks, and so still having night feeds regularly.
I also miss having time to be 'me' but dp is good and lets me get away from it all for a few hours if I need a break.
I have wondered what it must be like to have twins first time round. I think I would have found it even harder wihtout prev experience of babies.
Anyway, hope to chat to you soon!

Hi all

SLEPT THROUGH LAST NIGHT oh at last, I feel human again - was beginning to lose the plot - had a raging cold, was exhausted but still had to be smiley happy for the boys, didn't know which way was up. Had two days off work so I could rest while boys were at nursery which helped I think.

Edward still puking every-so-often, but I'm ready for him now, with pot and towel so doesn't stress me out as much. I think with this cough and snotty nose his tummy is filling up with cattarh and it makes him boff, quite normal I suppose, been many an occasion when I've wanted to throw up when i've had a cold - in the last few days in fact!

Anyway, everything else seems to be going well, fingers crossed that tonite is a repeat of last night! Oh and another thing Edward loves his tummy time, pushes himself up on his elbows so he can see the world and talks to us both - it's lovely...Arthur taking a little while to catch up, he just face plants and talks into the blanket until we lift him up, lazy boy!

Hope all is well - FP hope you've had a smile on your face since the last post? Sun is shining and I'm sure that helps lift the mood.

Speak soon

I'm so jealous, Meeely

Mine are getting better 10 - 4.30 then back to sleep til 7 most nights but it must be nearly a year since I've had a full nights sleep, with the pg and all. Ravi loves his tummy time too, the first baby I've known that likes to be on his tummy! He's still little tho, and can't hold his head up too long.

I keep worrying now cos my periods haven't started yet. They came bck straight away with the singletons. I really don't want any more children, especially not yet!

Kelly, how long since you gave birth? Mine started almost immediately, had a week or two of nothing after the initial post birth bleeding, then had my first period in january (gave birth in December), so went straight back on the Pill (you never know!).

They slept through again last night! 8.30 - 5.30/6.00 ish, then back to bed while mummy gets ready - although after all that sleep Edward tends to wake up while I'm still getting ready which is fine as he lies on the bed watching me dry my hair. I sooooo don't miss the pointless screaming fits! I'm glad that they are now like proper little boys and can be entertained....can we post pictures on this website? I got some fab ones from last nights playtime, melts my heart everytime I see them.

Hang in there Kelly, sleep will come....

Hi Meely,
I had my babies 11 weeks ago. I'm sure by this time with the singles I had a period or two by now. I can't take the pill - it doesn't agree with me, prob going have to try the coil again, but it's getting the time to get it done. I can't wait for proper sleep again, but at least the screaming fits are getting less frequent.

You can post piccies in the member profiles section, or post them on somewhere like picturetrail and give us the link. There is a link to mine halfway down the thread somewhere.

Hi Meely.

Good to hear that your DT is getting better and that you aren't feeling so stressed by it all.

My DTs, (girl/boy) are 16 months tomorrow. They are like puppies. They make me laugh, drive me to distraction, climb over under and through everything.

It's not so brill when they are ill, however, you just get on with it.

Have you found the twinsclub website? It's quite good, but not as good as here.

Hope to see you around. Don't forget to post on the other threads too.

Hi all

I just swanned off to sun my body in deepest bermuda, y'know how it is . Seriously am having a big sh*Ty time and haven't got anything fun to share. Don't really want to share the rest cos you heard it aaaaalllll before! Haven't had easy time getting to pc either but maybe this week will be easier. Maybe not having a good time and no pc time are related? Ah well.

OH FP - me too, lifes a bit cack at mo. Boys are fab, bit grumpy at the weekend, but I think thats because I was too and because i don't have as much time to play with them as nursery staff, so they got bored.

Talking of nursery, Arthur got scratched on friday by a little girl, the staff weren't watching him and she woke up hungry and bored and decided to take it out on him. DH and I were not best pleased. Looks like it might scar, she's taken a big chunk out of his forehead.

DH isn't being the most supportive helpful man in the world at the mo. Apparently he's tired and it's my JOB to look after the boys - er, hello, when did you get all neanderthal on me? He can't get enough when they are all smiles and giggles. The minute anything needs doing there's suddenly a pressing DIY job that needs doing instead....I am very grateful for all he does round the house - but he has to realise looking after the boys isn't less tiring than anything else, and I might be tired too after a full day of looking after them on sunday? Anyway, we made up, as you do when you gripe at each other, but he's left me feeling a bit lonely and isolated. I don't feel able to ask him for help as I know the response I'll get 'I already do all the bottles, cook the dinner, do the shopping....' Big deal, life isn't about how much we all do, we just do what needs to be done, when it needs doing.

So, feeling a little shut out by DH, but we get on better in the week as nursery do 3 feeds for me and I only have to do evening and morning, which I can handle. DH helps with bathtime, and tidies up afterwards while I'm feeding, so the routine works, it's just weekends that muck everything up, as I assume (stupidly I know) that he'll want to spend time with us and help out a bit with HIS SONS!

I think it would also help if Edward stopped puking everytime I feed him, it sets me on edge from the word go, so I don't relax through the whole feed, so arthur doesn't get all the attention he deserves either and it's just a stressful hour for all three of us. Thats why I would like DH to help, when I can focus on one baby it makes a world of diff, but it's like I'm asking him to give me £1000 when I ask for help....why must men fight you all the way - why can't he accept, he's a dad and this is his lot for the next 15/16 years of his life!

Moan over, work to do....

Emily

hello,

fg - sorry to hear you're havign a hard time of it, hope things improve soon.

Meely - can't you go out one day and leave him alone with them? As we have 4, I really couldn't do it all myself, my dp has to help. He also looks after them while I go out for a few hours or have a driving lesson, etc. So he knows how bloody hard it is and is far more supportive. He jsut had a week off work, and it knackered him out - he's going back to work for the break!!

Starting this week I'm going to have an evening out swimming, I need the exercise and it'll help me wind down (it's his idea too, so looking positive so far). So yes he will have to have them on his own.

Thing is Kelly, he's knows it's hard, he's struggled before, but he seems to think women are programmed to cope, so just cos he's struggling, doesn't make him sympathise with me, if you get me!

I also shot myself in the foot a bit, by coping so well without him - at one point he may have had to work away, so we had a trial run of me doing everything on my own for 2 days - it went OK, plus I reassured him I'd be ok on my own as I didn't want him to feel like he had to stay at home with me and miss out on this great career move....so I think in reality he feels like I don't need him, so in his own unique masculine way he's sulking! "if you don't need me, I won't do anything", then when I start to fall apart a bit, he doesn't understand, cos as far as he see's in, nothings changed.

It's just feeding that stresses me at the mo, I get all hot and bothered, I start to feel sick, just because I think Edwards going to throw up, then cos Edward is quite tuned in, he knows when I'm wound up, so he does throw up!

I'm sure this phase will pass, in fact he's got them on his own tonite cos i'm gonna do the shopping, so he'll either be climbing the walls when I get home or they'll both be in bed screaming!

Speak soon everyone

Hi girls. Meely you go get that swim girl and leave the DH a list to do as well as survive his babes!!! My dp has always been fairly good (if away all the rest of the time) but he got really good once the babes arrived. He saw just what the pressure was like and now when he is here he gets stuck right in and scrapes me off the floor somewhere along the way.

Kelly, tell me more about your counselling. I've seen my woman twice now and feel (a) really stupid chatting to her and (b) like she tells me nothing I don't already know (i.e. take a break sometimes, rest up, be patient, don't pressurize yourself to make everything perfect etc. etc.) I feel I need more than she's giving me and I'm considering giving up. Thing is she is the only name I have (she is reputable and qualified) and I'm not discussing this with my GP so don't really know where to find someone that isn't a crackpot!! I'm paying privately for her so I don't have to wait an eternity and at the moment I feel it is a waste of time, effort and money.

Big huge period decided to keep me company so that's making me feel ALLL WOOOOMAN. Y'know the thing sore tum, achy body, no energy, grumpy (even more so!!!) and red pants. I mean if I wanted red pants I could have bought red pants.

Off to do laundry, tidy and persuade myself to eat. In my head I'm curled up on the couch, relaxing in my PJs watching Cutting It. Sigh.

Boy the frump is a grump tonight .