D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

devon, you can email me on lovelymarslady (at) aol (dot) com.

I think having a doula is a wonderful idea (no bias here lol). Has your friend registered with any doula organisations? She'll get lots of help and advice there. She could also email me if she'd like.

BTW. Congratulations on the twins! Twins are wonderful, exhausting, brilliant, hair destroying etc etc.

Welcome to this thread (it's open for all )

Am home now from summer school. Just to let you all know that we lived in single sex flatlets and strangely I managed to have a fella in my. 6' plus, tall, dark and handsome Oxford Don type. As a friend said... single sex? Does that mean you only have sex with one of them? lol

Good to be home, but lots of essays to write and laundry to do. And on such a beautiful day.

Hi mars, glad you had a good time. Now next year I need a course with a summer school!

my elder two were great sleepers, sleeping through the night at 6-8 weeks. The twins were a nightmare and didn't sleep for the first year. They are just terrors tho - it is part of their personailities. Sharing cots didn't work for me, they kept startling each other and waking each other up. Yoju get the moro reflesx going back and forth. I also caught them clawing each ohters faces! It used to be funny when one of them would latch on to the other's hand and be suckign furiously while the hand's owner got increasingly infuriated. I want them to be babies again!

hello all - Kelly I am doing fine! Having a single pregnancy is a doddle cmpared to twins! Still wearing normal-ish clothes (skirts with elasticated waists!) at 21 weeks so all is good. Baby has started to move a bit as well which I was worried about as its supposed to be felt earlier in second pregnancies and I didnt really feel much until 20 weeks.

Devondoris - hello adn welcome! I have twin boys too - its the greatest thing in teh world!!! Mine were born naturally, but with an epidural and I had t be induced at 39.5 weeks as they were showing no signs of comign out.

I had a scan at about 37 weeks where I was told taht I could go for normal birth as they both had their heads down, I was initially petrified but over the moon in the end. The reason they suggest epidural is because the second twin can turn after the first is born necessitating a breach delivry which can be, as my consultant put it "excruciating" without an epidural. Luckily for me mine both stayed head down but I have a pal with twins a month older who also delivered naturally and the second was breach. She says it was no big deal!

Anyway good luck to you, I am pg too and due in Nov with just the one this time so will follow your pregnancy with interest!

glad you doing well hm, def right about it being so much easier! I remeber looking at single pg woman when pg with the dts very crossly and thinking wt the hell are u moaning about?!! With both my singles, I felt movements about that time, I thought it was normal.
It's strange no-one mentioned epidurals to me. They were convinced tho, after having two biggish babies the twins were going to simply 'fall out'. I don't thinkt hat consultant had ever had kids.

Mars - thanks so much for that. I'll let my friend know. I'm sure she'd be very grateful for some info re doula orgs so I'll mail.

HM - I so hope you're right about them being great! My consultant said that there might be "some discomfort and a bit of pain if we have to manipulate the second baby" if I didn't have the epidural... no word of excrutiating! I've read quite a lot on the association of radical midwives website which describes a few births (both single and multiple) and some of it described the "manipulation" - sounded a little like a vet and a birthing cow. Nice. Anyway, we'll see what happens. If you're pg now it's quite a good web place to nose around.

The boys are exhausting already. Managed to take dd swimming this morning (she had a lesson so had to); she'd like to go to the park and make cakes this afternoon! I've excused myself on the grounds that I have to do some typing but couldn't resist looking at MN first! Managed to lie down for most of the weekend when I wasn't cooking for dh and dd, washing up, washing.... And I slept last night - hurrah! DH has a bit of snore on him when he's home, so I often end up sleeping on the floor in dd's bedroom (it's quite comfy so no pity required!). DH actually took the bins out this weekend so he's got a gold star too.

Work calls!

Hi ladies

I often read your entries and they make me laugh - it's nice to know I am not alone in this ridiculous situation of two babies at the same time.

I have a question about sleep and wondered if anyone could help. My twins are now 16 weeks (6 weeks in real terms). They feed well on a 3 hourly routine and I am keen to start stretching the 3am feed so they go 4 hours or longer. How did you guys manage this? They are still too small to feed together so most of my life is spent feeding - would love to have more than an hours sleep in one stretch as about to go mental

Cheers for the help.

Hi GB - mine started to sleep through from 7pm to about 5am at about 18 weeks. Prior to this they were on one feed a night at about 3am. After a while I started to give them water when they woke in the night and a couple of nights later they were sleeping through - dotn know if this would work for everyone but it did for me!

Hi GB.. why are your twins too small to feed together? How big are they now and how are you feeding them? Sorry, just trying to get a clearer picture.

Hola .........

The owner of our villa was an oldie but divine and he kissed me on both cheeks this morning as we left........his son was a god (sigh), long hair and deep brown eyes and I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

I'm back xxx

Hola fg! Coma se va?

Nice to see you back!
We never get nice young men in our villas - except dp of course
Brace yourself for the heat, prob been hotter here than where you've been - it's been unbearable.

Now you are all back, it's MY turn next! 3 weeks left to go, and I can't wait.

Hi Mars

They are 16 weeks but born 10 weeks prem so developmentally only 6 weeks. I am bottle feeding them. I've managed to stretch them a bit further the past couple of nights - lots of tears and dummys but now hopefully on the way! They still have very wobbly heads - I keep trying to feed them together but to date a complete disaster

gb, can you not prop them up on cushion on the bed on either side of you? then sit with a bottle in each hand. Or put them in their car seats/bouncy chairs and sit in the middle.
I do empathise tho, I never got mine feeding together until they were much older, as I demand fed and they seemed to alternate most of the time!

God I have ooooooodles to say (not like me at all and no DP/DT/DD time free to tap it out! It will wait. Just to say Kelly, I'm cold, its a bit overcast here and I'm missing that 'walk about in your bikini morning noon and night' heat which envelopes your body and soul and sends you onto a chilled out plateau.......and the oven is on for dinner .......

Doris Welcome! Love your name, its sends me into "Fame, I'm Gona Live Forever" mode. I loved legwarmers. I used to wear mine over the knee until I discovered the trendy way was to roll them down .

I'll be back sometime soon, with a glass of something with life in it and once I've scaled the top of the washing pile.

p.s. Hi to all.

GB... have you tried putting them in those bouncy chairs and making sure that they are safe, sitting between the chairs and holding the 2 bottles?

Will give more thought to this for you. Have to say, the whole longer stretch of sleep thing took a while. Probably cos they were so little that their tummys couldn't take much and when it did it was soon gone... therefore the hunger came back.

GB I sympathise, my DTs were extremely dififult to feed together too. One always needed more than the other and DT2 got sore wind and needed walked about with and rested before carrying on. I fed mine separately most of the time. It meant not really doing much else and so I put one out in the garden, safe, so I could concentrate on feeding one and being beside my DD while she chatted or coloured or we cuddled and watched TV. My mind was always on the DTs and whirred away worrying about if I was doing the right thing but it was the only way that worked for me. Keep going honey.

I'm currently doing the Tesco shopping online at my mum's house (while she's at work) and took the opportunity to jump on here. My clockwork pc died at the weekend and nothing but nothing is going to save it . It may be sometime before I'm back up and running because DP and I need to get time together, through the day, without the children to concentrate on getting a new system. We've been scraping by with our old one but it doesn't nearly hit the mark for DP and work stuff and we need to sort out broadband etc instead of dial-a-while-cross-your-fingers-and-you-might-get-lucky-up.

It has come at a bad time. I hit a low last night and so desperately needed to talk to somebody. I don't really do 'talk' except on here and so I drank a bottle of wine, on my own and took myself of to bed. I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself.

The DTs are wearing me down. They just seem to niggle at each other and scream with frustrations and alongside DD, who I love dearly but who exhausts me with chat and needs of her own, I feel I'm fighting fire constantly. I know some would say I just need to get time away for me sometimes but I can't. I just find another job that needs doing and work myself into a frantic mess.

Sometimes I just want something for myself. I want to worry less and care less.......

Sorry girls, just having a moment. Some of it will be post-holiday blues but life was just the same over there just with different surroundings.

I'm warbling and feeling sorry for myself. Time I shut the hell up. Not sure when I'll be back but I'll try to pull myself together for when I am. Take care lovlies x.

GB - I fed my 2 together - in various different ways - it has changed as they got bigger. When they were small I sat one on each knee and supported their heads with cushions and had a bottle in each hand. Have also sat them in their bouncy chairs or had 1 in chair and one between my legs. There is a picture of me feeding them here
It does get easier as they get bigger!

FG - hope you are feeling better today - and you manage to get the computer sorted.
Am off to brave tescos with 2 tired babies - but at least it will be cooler!

FG - I am feeling quite similar at the moment if its any consolation. DTs constantly hitting/kicking each other, pulling things off tops/breaking things/sticking their hands in things they shouldnt etc etc. That combined with tiredness of pregnancy and DH sometimes not being home until late just exhausts me. Occasionally I sit and just wail and the DTs look at me like I'm crazy, they laugh as they think it's funny - I dont want to do it in front of them really as I dont want them to think theyhave a psycho mother but sometimes I just cant help it.

And this weather means that if I ever raise my voice all the neighbours can hear me.

Oh god I sound like a really bad mother.

Sob.

Anyway FG, enough from me - hope you have perked up a bit....

HM: You are not a bad mother. You are very very normal. It's hot, you're pregnant and you have toddler DTs.

I wish I could tell you that the fighting stage ends, it kinda does and doesn't. I've taken to leaving them to it unless they draw blood. Then I intervene. They seem to sort things out reasonably well between themselves. This tends to involve the occasional kiss on a body part from me and my hearing the words... DT(whichever) is norty! lol

FG.... find a way back online babe. No good without you. We're a family here!

hello everyone, sorry to hear you are having rough times, hm & fg. fg - get the computer sorted pronto!

Mine fight terrbily too. Now dt1 has also learned to bite. dt2 looked so shocked to be on the receiving end of the sharp teeth marks! He was inconsolatble! He has actually gotten a lot better, so I guess dt1 is takign over. They have been a bit better later, jsut hope it holds out for the hols. Yest we were stuck in slough all afternoon but dd was absolutely brilliant, she even kept them busy while I had my nails done . WE're off to the motor show tomo, they all love cars, so it should be fun.

jua - those are lovely photos! It looks so cute having a pink and a blue. Makes me broody...

Oh and mars, I finally got the tutor issue sorted! And I got 72& on TMA 03 and 04 so I am very !

I got 64 for the last one. I was really grateful cos it was rushed and rubbish lol! Glad you got yours sorted though. I thought that my tutor had forgotten me until I realised that whilst I was away my TMA post had been put to the bottom of a pile of junk mail. Good job I sorted it before putting it in the recycling.

just before bed tonight DT1 bit DT2's top lip, he has left teeth marks........

oh, and DH is not only going away tomorrow for Saturday night, but told me he was going out for a drink tonight as well. As if that wasnt bad enough I got dinner in and then he said he was actually going for a curry....just feel like I'm invisible sometimes.

HM you need a girl's night out! HarrogateDad is being a lot bit cheeky.

Biting DTs, oh yes..... the joys, the joys!

Hi every one, mine are still biting, pinching, punching,slapping, pulling, in other words fighting all the time!
I have had really bad stomach ache all today, and my dh has really tried to look after them, but all I could hear from my sick bed, was screaming and crying every 2 minutes, not very relaxing.
Oh yes, and now I am downstairs again and the place looks like a bomb has hit it. Well he did try, I have learnt in rl and from being on MN, that, that is a lot more than some Mums get from the dh/dps