D'y ever wonder how quickly we can fill this thread?

[snorris]

Thanks Ruby - I do feel it a bit though!

Dh phoned me tonight to tell me his mum has cancer.

OMG Pixie - how awful. For once, I am stuck for words

pixi - sorry things aren't good with you all - about mil

Idiotic and stupid question I know Pixie but how has your DH taken the news? It is awful. Are you close to your MIL?

See now I have gone into typical Shabster mode - talk a lot, very quickly, silly questions - things I do when Im nervous or afraid

Oh Pixi............what ever next? How old is she? Its a very scary word, I shall just be glad when we know what it is we are dealing with. Please don`t worry about me Pixi, I have survived the last 14 years, I will get through this. I just feel so different this time as I feel empty inside, cannot for the life of me concentrate on anything, cannot laugh and cannot cry, despite piling on all my sad old songs yesterday, not a tear. Had our parents/teacher consultation today and guess what? After 6 years of voicing my concerns, their teacher says that Thomas is dyslexic, he says he is a classic case, he also said out of the three he believes he is the most intelligent, feels he is getting frustrated at school now as he is struggling so much with his presentation and spelling, now theres a surprise! Every teacher I have spoken to about it have said he is not consistent enough in what he does to classify him! He is a bright boy, we know that, so help needed ladies as to how I can help him!

My MIL and I unfortunately don't get on. She thinks I'm stuck up. I just think there's nothing wrong with wanting more for your DCs than you've had yourself. I also think that if you want to have a positive relationship with someone you have to both put in some effort, sadly she can't be bothered.

They have never made any effort with our DCs either. She told me I have my mum on hand to provide for our children and DH is considered the sensible one of the family and so needs no support, while they need to concentrate on their other three adult children (single parents, drugs etc).

They have seen the DTs once, when DH finally got a car last year and we drove to see them, (an hour drive) they've always had a car but think it better for us to visit them and have seen the other DCs about a handful of times.

Despite all this I've been the one calling DH's sister to find out how their mother is, sending get well cards etc. They only just found out I'm expecting again.

Dh is coping with the news as he copes with everything, by bottling it up like his own father does.

Ah my angel, my love!

pixi - families are complicated, thankfully we can choose our friends

Bottling it up, thats what they do. If I tried to do that Id explode, thats the biggest problem isnt it? We feel we cannot help each other. I need to talk about things, Dh refuses to, says its pointless, it won`t help, and he hates to think of everyone knowing our problems. If only he would accept that friends mean it when they say we are here to help, my world would be a very sad and lonley one without my friends xxx

I will have to get to bed, both boys still going, Dh will throw a fit in a minute! I have to be out for 8.10am to walk to the docs, fingers x`d its something and nothing! Happy a/v Shabs for tomorrow, has Derk got a treat lined up for thee?

My biggest problem is the fact everything is happening at the same time and I don't feel I have time to breathe.

Dh and I going through problems, his mum is sick and he can't visit her, if he takes time off work it's unpaid and we can't afford it, if he goes at weekend he doesn't see me or the DCs.

London house being sold this week and we still have to try and empty it and I'm due to squeeze this baby out next week.

I don't have time to sit still and relax before the birth as there's just too much to do. Haven't even seen maternity ward or figured out if I'm brave enough to ask Momma to be my birth partner rather than go with gut instinct and go it alone.

Spent most of today rearranging furniture to enable us to store boxes of our stuff here rather than use a storage company. In agony tonight though know tomorrow will feel worse. Tomorrow I have to go to the bank to pay bills for my mum as she only gets 30mins for lunch break and can't do it herself, then come back and sort through more crates of stuff to see what I can possibly get rid of.

Triplets I do worry about you. I worry about all of you, it's just my nature.

TripEm, the lengths you will go to to avoid having to meet me.....sigh.

And I am worried about you dearest Pixi, just wish we could help in some way, I am very good at sorting boxes, and love new born babies!

Oh and of course now I feel guilty for posting bad feelings about MIL, who despite everything I really, really wish I could make it all better for.

Triplets off to bed with you. My fingers, toes and everything else are crossed for you and your DH.

I will go

Lol Triplets if you could only escape I'd be more than glad for the company and help, but I think you're too much in demand yourself right now. As soon as you're able though you must come visit us. After everything you've been through I'm sure you're more than capable of toughing out my DCs.

trips - awwww think I have missed you -

I wonder if trips has gone - and if she's not I am going to whisper this! Its her birthday at the weekend - how can we all make her laugh? Im up for mooning her if that is of any help

Pixie - I understood all your feelings and emotions about your MIL.

Mine passed away last year and try as hard as I could - I couldn't shed a tear. She used to say I was stuck up!!! ha ha rough as a badgers bum me!

She abandoned my husband and his 6 brothers and sisters because she was unhappy and ran off with a joke bloke! Just left them with their dad in the late 70's - the kids reared themselves almost.

It has made me try to be the best MIL to my DS partner - I have learnt from her mistakes and I adore DS DP.

Just to let you know Im thinking about you and hope things will be good for you

Rubester - theres nowt wrong with my lardy arse bum. I have a tattoo right across it that says - WIDE LOAD. OK that last bit was a lie but a good idea xxx

hiya am here !!!!!
fell asleep had a rest after reading ds1 his story lol as u can see bil hasnt got his comp back may have to return it 2mora for a bit tho as we had photos done through playschool yesterday and they are online to view now so sil might want to look wot do u recon???? hope your all ok

Pixi

Right. You need a list of priorities.

1. Your MIL - cancer is a dreadful thing and it is cruel. And no matter what you do the course of her illness will run.

1. Your problems with your DH - you must remember that this moment is not forever. You and he need to make some peace that says you both recognise this time is hugely stressful for each of you and that you will endeavour to push through it together and find time on the other side to put yourselves back together. It will come. Make a vow that says you will stand united for now.

1. Release yourself from the London house. DH will need to do that or find someone to help empty it. If there is an emergency I will fly to Mars' house and we will empty it ourselves, drink your booze and sell the lot on the street corners.

1. Your baby - tomorrow treat it like the baby is on its way. Do emergency preparations as if you had just found a child in a crib on your doorstep. What would you need?

You do not want to look back and regret this time. You don't always want to feel like you are making up for a time that wasn't right. Ask Momma to be your birth partner. She is a glorius wooman I have never met and I get the feeling that if she can she will. Tis better to ask her to sit in a corridor than to feel alone and be desperate you had asked. Share.

If Momma can't, I will personally fly down and let you scream in my face (provided its after my DP comes back from his travels). Warning: there is every chance I will drink your mini bottle of Champagne in advance of the head crowning........

1. Tell us what things we could do to help. Can we send parcels of 'things'? Do internet Tesco shopping for you? You know if it was me, you'd do the same.

1. Go to bed young lady. There is nothing that can't be cured from more sleep.

1. I'm done xxxxxxxx.

Shazzer - good evening - glad you fell asleep had a nice rest.