D' ya ever wonder if we'll get through in one piece?

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Morning girls. I've found us a new home

So as we were so nearly finished the thread I did my best to fill it up to completion. I hope you don't mind. I'm hoping you all find your way here too from then links I have sent.

This morning is dull and breezy in minisoks area. We're supposed to be meeting friends (though with no fixed arrangements) and dh is currently snoring his head off in bed. I might be slightly annoyed as my lie in yesterday got cut short with James waking me up to get his kindle and then my parents texting me to come over. I can't really grumble about that as they were bringing Emily her birthday presents but still. I think he's now had enough so I'm not discouraging the noise and thumping up and down stairs. 8 years old! So I now have an 8 year old, a 6 year old and the twins are 4! I can't believe how much they are all changing and growing. Jen does gymnastics, Joshy does toddler football. James is on an under 6's team (I've no idea how that works either) and has been invested in beavers. Emily is loving brownies and hockey, although hockey has finished until September . We're just trying to get some practise in for her so she doesn't completely forget what she's learnt.

Oh, and not forgetting Merlin the magnificent. He's a gorgeous puss, even if the children do love him to torturous degrees - poor kitten hides when he's had enough 'love'.

Enough of me, how the devil are you all?

I`ll send my cat up, Molly is an ace mouser. She kept looking under my washing machine last night then darting from one side of the kitchen to the other. Suddenly the mouses head pops out and I screamed the place down mouse ran out and cat got it!! Glad you are all so happy in the new house and sounds as though the children are all thriving, well done you! Thanks for your kinds word, it is such an awful situation when I don't know what we are supposed to have done. I had a quiet word in the bank this morning, obviously they cant tell me anything about Rebeccas account but she did explain about her overdraft and what will happen. She was very kind and concerned. So I will send her a Valentines card with some money in to buy herself some chocolate, I have always done that, and hope that she knows she is loved. x

I'd love Molly! I so miss Merlin but I know he is being well looked after by bil. You've just reminded me of the night Merlin was trying to get at something in the old house, then the mouse running across Dh when he was sat on the sofa!

I still haven't braved the loft yet. Day time will be better!

The valentines sounds a lovely idea. It's a no -confrontational way of maintaining contact without expecting anything in return. I know that must be hard.

My mum called at our house yesterday. I was in the loo and Dh shut the door on her! She was so angry! But I don't think she realised I heard how she spoke to Dh and quite frankly I would have done the same. In the end I did after she berated me over things which I have tried to discuss reasonably and rationally so many times, and again not being listened to. Sadly my parents do not like being challenged and I no longer fit into the scared, desperate to please them, child that I once was. Such a weight was lifted after the car pulled away.

Anyway, I am sure you are not doing that to Rebecca. All you can keep doing is reaching out and one day hopefully soon Rebecca will have a pang of sadness that puts her back in touch. How are her brothers reacting?

Hi Soks had such a bad day today. We all went to Canterbury with my brother just for a day out. I split up with them as the boys wanted to look at guitars and stuff and dh fishing gear! We arranged to meet in M&S at 1pm for lunch but I ended up phoning dh and said I was catching the bus home. Becca was in Canterbury for 2 years at college, the town was full of students and I stupidly found myself searching for her. I kept seeing things she would like and I just felt more and more upset. I was also looking for ideas of what to wear for a wedding we are going to end of April up north. Because of this thick support stocking I have to wear I cant wear a pretty dress or skirt. I have lived in jeans for the last 18 months and feel so fed up, my left foot swells so I felt like Cinderella today trying to squeeze my foot into dressy shoes. I was also looking for a dressing gown, I stupidly left mine at the log cabin we stayed in a few weeks ago, I phoned them and it wasn't handed in. I am not a dressing gown person, but need one "just in case" but I look like a sack of potatoes with a wrap around one, mine was a zip up. Do you think I could find one in the whole of Canterbury? So I just felt like crying and came home alone. Her brothers just say she is selfish and stupid, tbh the three have never really got on, my mum always said they came out of three different egg boxes! Yesterday was the day they were looking at new accommodation for Sept, even though their landlady has told me she will not be giving them a reference. Its all so horrible because I just don't understand why. xx

Oh @triplets. It is the 'little things' ie the dressing gown which always seem to be the final straw. Hopefully you've found a lovely new dressing gown now.

I don't know what grade stockings you need but amazon do patterned ones and these do more ladylike ones. Expensive but worth it for the occasion of wearing a dress if you can.

Lol at 3 different egg boxes. It is funny how children, born at the same time, raised the same way, can differ so greatly. You expect it with siblings, because things change as you parent. But multiples are experiencing the same thing at the same time.

The children are really enjoying Jason manfred's new programme about how well parents know their children. It was a twin episode this week and it was interesting to say the least. Although I might have been slightly miffed that they had same sex twins - 2 sets of girls and 1 of boys - rather than taking the opportunity to include a boy/girl set too.

Hi Soks seems we are down to just. Me and you on here these days, nice to have someone to talk to. Well things are awful, I sent Rebecca a small parcel last week, her contact lens that came in the post, a Valentines card with £10 in it to buy herself some chocolate,no response. Then on Weds I got an email from her landlady, she told me that Rebecca and three others have found a new house to rent from 1st July. She spoke to James the boyfriend and he told her Rebecca has loads of money, has paid the £500 deposit, has a new guarantor and so from the 1st July her parents won’t know where she is. I was so upset, so angry so I phoned the welfare dept at the uni. They were very understanding and concerned but said there is very little they can do unless I think she is at risk then they would have to involve the police. She isn’t, she is going along with it all. I also found out through a friend of hers she has made a new fab page but blocked all her family and friends back here. The boyfriend has in the last week started posting photo shopped pics of her, I think to upset me. It’s still all so horrible. x

Here I am......where is everyone? Feeling very low, missing Rebecca so much. I had hope to get a text or card for Mother’s Day, but nothing. It has hurt me so much. It’s also my birthday this week and I don’t think I will hear from her, I am worn out thinking about it all. Just don’t know why!what we have supposed to have done for her to suddenly cut us out of her life. I am under so much stress too from her landlady. She has warned me that Rebecca only paid half her rent in Jan, the remaining £1300 + £105 excess fuel bill is due by the 1st April and if it’s. not paid on that day by Rebecca I as her guarantor will have to pay it. I don’t have it. She is also saying if it’s not paid she will evict her and ask us to go down and remove her things. Poor Harry is in such a state, we just don’t know what to do. Why is life so cruel, as if we haven’t both been through enough. Sorry girls, just needed to at least be able to put it down in words. Sick with worry. x

I'm here. Other thread was too otbt maybe.

Has she laid any of her rent since Jan? I assume she's the only not paying, do the others not worry about it as surely they will be affected too?

TBH the landlady has a lot to answer for if she's let it build up that much and not contacted you at the first opportunity. Our agent was on to our guarantor 10 days after a missed payment. And id already spoken to them to let them know what was happening.

Hi Soks all I know is that she only paid half of her rent in Jan and agreed to pay the rest on April 1st. I have no way of contacting her now except through the landlady who I do not trust. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I am just feeling sad. x

Yes, I agree not to trust the landlady. She wi of course be out to get whatever she can, from whoever she can.

Did a thread get deleted?

Popped in to wish you a happy birthday, Trips xxxx

All busy here, boys birthday tomo - they will be 13! I'm not even going to see them tomorrow until late evening as I have to go up to Telford for a course and will be leaving at 5am Will make it up to them on Saturday, I've taken the afternoon off work and we'll go to cycle club in the morning and then out in the afternoon.

Hope everyone else is well xxx

Happy birthday Trips. Much love to you and hoping for a lovely, stress-free day for you xxx

Thank you guys, Birthday was quiet but lovely came down to dh cooking me breakfast and the table all pretty! No word from Rebecca which was upsetting although expected. x

< wheels in trolley wafting with the smell of bacon butties, sausages and fried eggs, pot of tea and lashings of hot buttered toast >
Morning girls, so where’s the promised sunshine? Three days of thick sea mist, about time it warmed up. Life much the same here, boys ok and no word from Rebecca, it’s so heartbreaking. Next Friday we are up your way Shabs, a family wedding in Chorley, place called Heskin Hall? Its Harry’s cousin, they come to Deal a lot and we call them the Wiganites! They are a lovely lot, so good hearted. The wedding is now tinged with sadness, Sylvia’s brother died yesterday, he was only sixty nine has been ill since Christmas but not expected to go so quickly. So we are up next weekend and then will have to go back for the funeral. Sad times. So where is everyone? x

Thought of you Shabs as we drove past the junction for Bolton! Awful journey traffic horrendous. Should have taken us 6 hours took 8.5! Still we are here in sunny Wigan safe and sound. Sat on my hotel bed with a bag of crisps and bottle of fizz! x

You have all gone awol! Wedding was lovely, though tears got Allan. We are back up n Weds for the funeral. Problems and worries all around atm, my brother who had a bypass two years ago has a blockage and is having an angiogram tomorrow. A scan after a very nasty bout of colitis last week has also found a problem with his prostate. On top of that my brother in law is seriously ill in hospital in London. He has a ruptured bowel, peritonitis and they can’t operate because he has heart and kidney failure. We are going up today to see him. Still no contact from Rebecca, heartbreaking. Somebody come talk to me soon! x

I'm here!

Been pulled all over the place lately. Parents trying to guilt trip me by sending cheques for the twins' birthdays. They remain uncashed.

J1 has been referred to camhs again. Although this time we shouldn't get the standard decline and I've spoken to a lovely lady already who was shocked at how we were failed with the discharge instead of transfer.

Everyone else is bobbing along although School are putting j2 forward for adhd assessment. She's turning out just like her big brother!!

Hi Soks so nice to have some one around. Life is awfully complicated isn't it, never easy. We went back up to Wigan for dhs cousins funeral on the 3rd May, came back to London on the 4th to visit bil in hospital. Stayed o/night with Harrys sister and was woken at 7am the next morning by the hospital calling to say come now. we all got there and Brian died that morning. We were all there with him. So back up to London next Tues for the funeral. So Soks where d'ya think everyone is ?

Have we abandoned ship?

This is sad......is this the end of d’ya ever?
So I will just talk to me

How are you Trips? Well the good news is I had my oncology check up last week and all is well. Phew! Life though is very sad and stressful. I am watching Harry get frailer by the day, his Parkinson’s is much worse. He shakes and shakes, can trip easily and gets very tired. Also not swallowing properly anymore. The added stress of Rebecca’s treatment to us is also taking its toll. Too much has happened to tell you, but it’s now 9 months since we have seen her and 7 months since we have spoken to her. We have emailed, text, written letters but no response. She has now moved out of the house she was in, so I no longer even know where she lives. James the bf is really controlling her, I have been told some dreadful things. I now too am accused of being controlling and cruel to her all her life, this is coming from one of her friends mothers who doesn’t know me from Adam. Her daughter has given me a lot of grief with her lies. I have been in contact with the uni but they won’t intervene. We are heart broken. Life is so cruel. Sorry girls. Because of the damage they caused in the house I lost all of my £500 deposit and also had to pay an extra £130 for a new mattress. We were hoping to have a few days away in Sept for our 40th wedding anniversary but that’s not going to happen now. Just fed up! Hope the rest of you are well! x

Oh Trips! I had hoped R would at least come good for the end of the tenancy. Sorry you've lost out on so much money.

It is sad that you haven't heard from her, especially as her boyfriend is so clearly poisoning you against her. Hopefully she will come to her senses soon. All you can do is continue to email to the address you know she had and hope she can still access it when she chooses to. If nothing else it will show her you haven't stopped caring or trying.

I haven't heard from my parents since mother turned up at the door, only birthday cards and cheques for the children. They remain uncashed. It is clear that they will not apologise for their actions despite me holding my hands up to mine. I have been searching deeply for how I feel and I honestly still feel relieved.

So I can't see how Rebecca can lay blame on you when she's refusing to contact you and say what she thinks you've done. People believe what they are told - I take it it's one of her new friends and not her old ones.

@triplets sorry for abandoning you. I'm back!

Hi Soks thank goodness you are here! Was just about to give the trolley to the charity shop! Sorry that things are still the same with your folks, they are the losers. Such a shame. Yes these are her so called new friends, it’s just so hard to know who is saying what when I get it all from the landlady, though she isn’t anymore. It just scares me that now we don’t know where she is living, the only thing I know is that she is at the uni. I felt so lonely yesterday, missing Matthew on his birthday and missing Rebecca too. Just worn out with it all. Good to have you around, bless you. xx

Nooo! You can't give away the hostess trolley

Morning girls xx

Hi All. Sorry I've not been about, been a hectic time this year. DH has now finished his counselling, but it doesn't seem to have made the big difference I was hoping for. His temper is still unpredictable, and his mood is so low most of the time. He is having such difficulty in connecting with the boys. Mike got merit and distinction on his first year exams, very proud. We are due to start looking at Uni's from September. James got merit, but has decided to give up on his patisserie course, as a week of work experience put him off, being on the spectrum means he cant take the stress or being shouted at, which is what happened. Pity, he is good! He has now decided to do bike mechanics! A local Triumph dealer has said if he does a year at college doing mechanical maintenance they "might" give him an apprenticeship. I just hope they stick to this, as James has set his heart on it. He is still on his bike, doesn't want to learn to drive. He is also still at MacDonalds, but hates it. He had an interview for Tescos today, which he hopes to get. Mike has used his savings to buy a car, but, as he still hasn't got a job, and doesn't seem to be making much of an effort to get one. He appears to be happy to keep relying on us. Both DH and I tried taking him out for driving practice, but he had an incident where he kept stalling at a junction and an arsehole behind got out and threatened him, so now he is having panic attacks when he gets behind the wheel. I have now had to pay out for some more lessons to get his confidence back, as well as paying his tax and insurance after he promised yet again to get a job, but, as i said, that doesnt seem to be his priority!
My mum finally passed away last month, funeral was last week. I know she was not really there in a real sense but I miss her😥. We did give her a great send off tho.
I have had my cataract operated on, due to have other eye done next week. My boss has been an arse over both my compassionate leave and operations, so I have ended up taking it all but the day of the actual funeral as annual leave, so, with Mikes Uni viewing days, I've not much left for an actual holiday, not that I can afford one. Think that's it!!