D' ya ever wonder if we'll get through in one piece?

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Morning girls. I've found us a new home

So as we were so nearly finished the thread I did my best to fill it up to completion. I hope you don't mind. I'm hoping you all find your way here too from then links I have sent.

This morning is dull and breezy in minisoks area. We're supposed to be meeting friends (though with no fixed arrangements) and dh is currently snoring his head off in bed. I might be slightly annoyed as my lie in yesterday got cut short with James waking me up to get his kindle and then my parents texting me to come over. I can't really grumble about that as they were bringing Emily her birthday presents but still. I think he's now had enough so I'm not discouraging the noise and thumping up and down stairs. 8 years old! So I now have an 8 year old, a 6 year old and the twins are 4! I can't believe how much they are all changing and growing. Jen does gymnastics, Joshy does toddler football. James is on an under 6's team (I've no idea how that works either) and has been invested in beavers. Emily is loving brownies and hockey, although hockey has finished until September . We're just trying to get some practise in for her so she doesn't completely forget what she's learnt.

Oh, and not forgetting Merlin the magnificent. He's a gorgeous puss, even if the children do love him to torturous degrees - poor kitten hides when he's had enough 'love'.

Enough of me, how the devil are you all?

@triplets how's it going?

Morning Soks.... you wide awake too? Thanks for your support on this xx Well ended up getting another phone call late on Monday night from Mr Payne, caught me off my guard. He said he had spoken to James and Emily and had arranged to go to the property today to talk to them all hoping Rebecca will be there. I said that we were taking legal advice and that also we had just written to Rebecca again enclosing a sae. He begged me not to send it, to wait to Thursday to see what response he got from her! So we went on Tues to CAB, had a 40 min chat, must say they were excellent. They said that Mr Payne had no right to contact us, by doing so and by enclosing copies of letters to the guarantor and Rebecca he had broken the data protection act. He said we are not legally obliged to offer a penny. He feels Rebecca will still not be ready to come home. He said wait until Mr Payne rings us to tell us the outcome of his talk with her (if she is there) and then tell him we wish to have no further communication with him. We told him about sending her a letter and him not wanting us to, he said send it. So she should have got it yesterday. The trouble is Soks she is still in the property with James and Emily, they are the ones who have caused all this. Oh Mr Payne also asked me if we had contacted James father Mr Williams the guarantor with a view to settling this. Told him we had not and did not intend to do so. His reply was he felt I was being negative and that he had spoken to Mr Williams and we should know that he was being very kind and supportive to our daughter as indeed they were! So...today the landlord hopes to see her, she will have our letter, we will wait and see. Soks you know I am dreading rejection but if that’s how she wants to be then we can do no more. We must just get on with our own lives which at 67 and 78 is rapidly flying by! Thanks for telling me your story, must say I fully understand, just don’t know how they can be like that to you all. Horrible. Hope you have gone back to sleep. xx

I hope you get a reply either way, even if it's not what you want. Your sons need their parents too and it must be exhausting for you spending so much mental time and emotion on Rebecca.

If you want to see a lighter side, I am really sorry but I have been chuckling away at similarities - Emily and James being my eldest two and Mr Payne being our landlord. If you tell me the father is John, Jonathon or Phillip I will be rofl as my male cousin's surname is Williams!

Children are all at scouting activity day with a St. George's theme. Peace in the minisoks household!

Josh made an awesome beaver standard bearer yesterday. Although in the strong wind I did think the scout leader was going to get a bonk on the head with it! He was so casual. At one point he was holding the flag with one hand on his hip 😂

@triplets, any news?

Hi Soks.......Mr Williams name is John!!
I have a very big update and it all happened yesterday.
We decided that the last thing we could do was go down there so we did with my brother as he didn’t want Harry to drive. We arrived at the house at midday, I stayed in the car and they went to the door. 5mins later they were back. James had opened the door them slams it in their face. I wrote her a card telling her we were there and would wait for 15 mins. Nothing. We were driving home when my phone went a text from James. He said she had moved out last week, didn’t know where to, she was running away from her debt. He said if we come back, harass him or Emily he will call the police. I didn’t reply. A few mins later my phone rang. It was his father John Williams! He was very civil and we talked for an hour. He said she had left, that he had taken James back to Chichester last Wednesday and she was gone, room empty. He said she and James split up in Feb as James couldn’t put up with her drinking anymore! He said they had all loved her in the family and were even going to take her to Florida this year with them. He said something changed in her she needed help as her drinking was a problem. He said she owed him £6500 and he intended finding her and making her repay him. He then told me that his priority atm was James. In March he had an accident on his motor bike, he has killed a pedestrian and is likely facing prison. God I could hardly take it all in . He has given me a mobile number for her, tells me he has given her three phones. I asked him why did he agree to be her guarantor, to which he said because he would do anything for James. So....where the hell do I go from here. Harry is devastated. We need to get her home. You did make me laugh, I love what your kids get up to! x

Wonder who Maraki 12 was and what the post was? Looked for her/him on other posts and nothing came up. Strange. Must have been offensive to be removed.

Holy shit @triplets!

Is Rebecca still studying at the uni? They've massively failed here I not listening to your concerns about James and the influence he was having over her. It sounds a bit like 6/1 and 1/2 a dozen of the others and Rebecca is being used as the scape goat.

Hi Soks....no she according to Mr Williams had not handed in any wor k since last June and dropped out in Sept and has had odd jobs since. Definitely not there any longer. Still trying to get my head around it all. Never stops for us. Last night got a call from Thomas in Germany. He was supposed to be flying to Cyprus on the 28th July, the Army are all leaving Germany this summer. His given leave was the 1-25th July, he has booked to go to America on the 2nd for 2 weeks. Well he’s not because they have brought it forward they fly out on the 4 th June! He has been given leave from this Frid 17th until the 3rd June. This means he has to vacate his room of three years and bring everything home with him, lock stock and barrel and he can’t fit it all in his car. So please can we go over and help him. That means we will have to book ferry and hotel today and as we know it could be all change tomorrow. Another mess. x

Oh no @trips! Your children don't like to make things easy for you do they?

Will Thomas still get his America holiday? (Or is he going to be nice if he can't go and change it into your name??)

Do you have any idea where Rebecca is? Given the families request that you don't 'harass' them (wtf??), are they being helpful at all with regards to finding where she is, since it would be in their interests too if they wish to get anything out of her?

We're on SATS week here. Emily is happily going in early as the school are running a year 6 breakfast club for them. Piggy is having breakfast here then scotch pancakes and bagels at school as well. Apparently they were all given chocolate buttons for their test period. Which is a lovely idea.

The twins are also doing theirs but their teacher is calling them Secret Agent TestS. Which I think is utterly awesome. Their topic this half term is superheroes so fits quite well I think.

James is naturally not reacting well to all the disruption and change to his school day. But we will muddle through and as long as he gets to play on the Xbox for a little while he seems happy enough.

Blimey Soks good luck to them all with the dreaded Sat, love the other name! Time on the Xbox always works! Mr Williams said he had a mobile number for Rebecca but as yet he hasn’t given me it. Can’t do much now until we get back from Germany, off on the 7.25am ferry in the morning! No we have no idea where she is, once more. I am just praying she is still hanging around Chichester though I am sure she will want to avoid James and his father. Really dont know what to do other than physically go and look for her. Feel scared that something will happen to her. x

Mr Williams sounds a dick tbh. Won't give you the means to contact Rebecca that she might still have (although I'd be surprised if he hasn't cut her phone off if he was paying for if) and accuses you of harassing him when he's been the bloody gatekeeper helping encourage Rebecca's isolation from you all.

Have you reported her as missing to the police? If no one knows where she is, I'm afraid it's the route I would have to take. If. I thing else, if the police find her and she still doesn't want contact, they will let you know she is safe.

@triplets, any news yet?

We are good here. Disappointingly I appear to have failed my first year of ou. By 2%. I am gutted because I thought I might have scraped through. But hey ho.

E turns 11 in a couple of days! She's looking so grown up at the moment, but is still a big kid at heart.

Morning Soks, it’s almost 1 am and I can’t sleep. Shame about just missing out on your OU do you just sit it again? Well since we last spoke we did go to Germany and back 700 miles! Never even got a thank you. We also this week had to get Thomas up to RAF Brize Norton, another 300 mile round trip! So he is now soaking up the sun in Cyprus. Becca. After that awful day we went down I put an appeal on a site on FB, it was the Chichester Community page. Within 24 hours they messaged me to say they had removed my post at the request of a friend of my daughters! I said for all they knew the friend could be holding her against her will. They were quite rude and said if you are that worried call the police. So I did, spoke to a lovely lady for about 20 minutes, she took lots of details. About an hour later she phoned me back and said there was nothing showing on the system so they were unable to help me! Last night I found on her old fb page a man who works at the uni in the fine art department. I messaged him and got a swift reply. He said he knew all about the dynamics between Rebecca, James and Emily. He said the last time he saw Rebecca was in Dec and she told him she had deferred until September. He then spoke to James and Emily and they told him she had moved out. So we are basically back to square one. So stressful. x

What do they mean 'nothing showing on the system'? Your her parents and you've reported a bloody concern!

Hopefully with deferring until sept, she will get whatever it is out of her system and get back in touch by then at least. If not and she didn't show would uni have a duty of care to report a missing student?

It's all so horrid for you.

@triplets, how are you today my lovely? What is the weather like in your neck on the woods? We are very wet here! PIL are on holiday and the grassy areas on the caravan site are so waterlogged, they have ducks swimming on them like a lake!

Morning Soks, we seem to be down to just me and thee on here. Shame. It’s lovely here atm, we did get a lot of rain last week, but the weekend was nice and the sun is shining today. Right Rebecca. Last Thursday an official looking letter arrived for her here which I opened. It was from the Student Loan people at gov.uk. They were asking her to repay almost £900! I phoned them and explained the situation. Again they wouldn’t give me any details because of data protection. They did though say I could make a payment over the phone on her behalf! I didn’t. It was another upset for us. Several members of my family have tried to contact her, nothing. I was actually going to do to Chichester today with my James for a couple hours of nights to look for her but decided against it as feared rejection if we saw her. What I have done is sent off an application form to the Salvation Army who offer a reuniting service for £25. They say they have a success rate if 80%. It’s worth a try as no one else will help. I have found out more about the motorcycle accident through looking through local papers. It happened on the 2nd April at his home town of Leigh on Sea in Essex. He hit a 95yr old woman who died at the scene, he tested positive for drink/drugs. Awful. So the whole thing is a bloody mess and I have no idea what I should do any more. x

At least the Salvation Army might be able to speak with Rebecca directly. Rather than people speaking for her that she doesn't want to be in touch.

I remember that accident. I didn't know if it was one not far from Chichester where a man was killed by a motorcyclist. But they've not published any details about the motorcyclist. Just that it was an orange trail type bike. Either way it's awful and I wonder whether it might have anything to do with Rebecca's continued distancing herself. Fear, shame etc.

Role call!

@triplets @bubby64 @Chopstheduck @rubyrubyruby @shabbs

It's a beautiful baking day here. Cooler inside than out so our plans for a bbq have been shelved in favour of not slaving over a burning bbq.

Bigs are at a friend's house and cub camp. Twins are enjoying the relative peace and being able to do what they want (within reason). Nana and grandad have been brought over too.

Josh is suffering generally as a result of being twin 2/younger brother.

Jenn has an appointment at the Adhd clinic.

How is everyone else getting on?

Hey everyone!

We’re still planning a bbq, but will def be waiting for it to cool down a bit outside first! The indoor bbq is looking more attractive atm!

It was shay’s football awards day today, quite a big event with lots to do. Rav now wants to join the team too!

They started army cadets this year, which they are loving. Shay especially has transformed as last year we couldn’t get him out of the house!

Ds1 has just finished his first year mocks for A levels and they went well. dd will finish her apprenticeship soon, but is likely to go straight on to a higher apprenticeship course.

We’re all fine! I’m trying to find a new job, working crazy hours atm.

So sorry that you’re still not in contact with Rebecca, trips xx

Gutting about the OU - is it worth asking for it to be remarked if it was only 2%?

( brushes cobwebs off the trolley and wheels in Pimms and Mr Kiplings iced fancies)...still here and exhausted . In the last 36 hours I have had two hours sleep. Had to pick Thomas up from Gatwick at 2am this morning. He s off to America on holiday on Monday to see his girlfriend! Nice to hear from you Chops! Ok, I have news of Rebecca. On Monday my niece phoned to say she had found out where she is working. She had trawled fb looking at all the pubs in Chichester and found a picture of her! It’s the Duke and Rye. She looks well and happy, no piercings I noted. A friend of a friend lives in Chichester and has seen her in there and said she looked fine. So for now we will leave her be, don’t want her running away if she thinks we know. It’s something of a relief. The ex boyfriend tested positive for drink /drugs after killing a 95 yr old lady pedestrian on his motor bike. Dylan her first nice boyfriend she dumped for James has been placed in a mental hospital for his safety , he has tried to commit suicide twice in the last month. So sad. It’s all a mess. And I am soooo tired! x

Hi all. Trips, so glad you have tracked Rebecca down. Chops, Soks, you both sound busy, glad things are fairly settled for you both. I am on my own this weekend as boys and Rich are down at Tankfest. I can do what I want for a change, so went to the cinema this afternoon and now me and animals happily sitting here eating pizza I have finally been taken on as a permanent with my job and Rich also starts a new job next week, better pay and conditions. Getting things ready for Mike going to Uni in September and James will also spending 6 weeks every 4 months with his BMW apprenticeship.
I keep having flares of my RhArthtitis, so my mobility is not getting any better, so i have finally invested in mobility scooter which we put in bits in the boot, i no longer feel like a burden when we go out, as i can keep up with everyone and they dont have to keep stopping as i rest.