D' ya ever wonder if we'll get through in one piece?

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Morning girls. I've found us a new home

So as we were so nearly finished the thread I did my best to fill it up to completion. I hope you don't mind. I'm hoping you all find your way here too from then links I have sent.

This morning is dull and breezy in minisoks area. We're supposed to be meeting friends (though with no fixed arrangements) and dh is currently snoring his head off in bed. I might be slightly annoyed as my lie in yesterday got cut short with James waking me up to get his kindle and then my parents texting me to come over. I can't really grumble about that as they were bringing Emily her birthday presents but still. I think he's now had enough so I'm not discouraging the noise and thumping up and down stairs. 8 years old! So I now have an 8 year old, a 6 year old and the twins are 4! I can't believe how much they are all changing and growing. Jen does gymnastics, Joshy does toddler football. James is on an under 6's team (I've no idea how that works either) and has been invested in beavers. Emily is loving brownies and hockey, although hockey has finished until September . We're just trying to get some practise in for her so she doesn't completely forget what she's learnt.

Oh, and not forgetting Merlin the magnificent. He's a gorgeous puss, even if the children do love him to torturous degrees - poor kitten hides when he's had enough 'love'.

Enough of me, how the devil are you all?

Trips, how about you do some online food order for dd, it would get delivered so you know she has food basics, but she can't fritter money away? ? Just an idea...

Hiya Shabs that's awful about Tom. Its so hard for them isn't it? My James starts back down the cruise ship terminal on the 25th, no ships, they build an ice rink there for Christmas. It will be there 6 weeks and his rosta arrived yesterday and he has 9 days work!!!! Bubbs that's a good idea about the online shopping, the only other thing I was thinking about is Sainsburys do a student gift card, she gets one and I get one so I can top it up for her. She is a nightmare! So day 3 of taking Citalopram still feel sore in my tummy, trying to keep positive but its bloody hard not to worry! x

Morning ladies, how are we all? Well I got myself upset last night, same problem.............Rebecca! 2 weeks ago she had just enough money to last her until Christmas, we checked her account to find she is £114 overdrawn, I am so fed up. That means she has spent over a £100 a week and its all gone at Tesco extra opposite her. What do I do? I have told her, warned her, she is still not answering her phone. I contacted 2 of her housemates and finally one replied late last night to say she was in the uni library and would ring me later. I don't believe that for one minute, and of course she didn't ring. Well I don't have the money to bail her out, so no idea what is going to happen, I am just sick of the worry. Since she broke up with her boyfriend she seems to have completely lost the plot. Good job I am on Citalopram otherwise I couldn't cope! x

Oh Trips! Have you heard from Rebecca yet? I think Bub's idea of doing a shop for her is a good one. At least then she will be eating. Maybe it's just a rite of passage students have to go through?

Hiya Soks good to hear from you. No I haven't heard from her. I have contacted 3 of her housemates, all said they would ask her to phone. So I have just resorted to writing her a letter. So fed up. I think even if I did an online shop, the food would be used by them all and she will still use her debit card. I just have no money anymore to bail her out, feeling so disappointed in her :( xx

Still no word from her, and I have even written to her asking her to please phone us, really don't know what else I can do. She is just avoiding us because of her spending, she is such a worry. :(

Hi girls called one of her friends again last night and finally got to speak to her. Checked her account again yesterday to find she has spent another £200 that makes her £400 overdrawn. I didn't shout, was quite calm but told her this is my final warning, her choice is going to be to come back home and go to uni locally or to carry on as she is but we wont be supporting her..........sh was adamant she will not leave Chichester and just said "oh well". She isn't even sure if she is coming home for Christmas. She had spent £33 in TK Max asked her what on and she said Christmas decs for their house!! She says she has found her phone charger and I have asked her to phone me on her own phone on Sun night...........I am not holding my breath! x

Oh my word trips! It's a pity she's too old for you to ring the bank and limit her overdraft. I assume she isn't working? And I'll bet her friends are letting her do it so they don't have to spend themselves either.

Hi Soks nice to hear from you hope your life is abit calmer than mine! I now have Thomas home for a long w/end, passed his driving test with the Army in Germany 3 weeks ago and has already bought a car. So his dad took him out today just for a short spin to see how he is..........came back a nervous wreck! To be fair its the first time he has driven in England, first time in his new car etc. But he took him out again this afternoon and was still shocked at his driving. Six pm and his mate on a motor bike turns up and they say they are going out with the car, Thomas following him on his bike! I said a firm no but they went. Came back an hour later, all in one piece but my nerves are shattered, thank God once again for the citalopram!. Anyway I have talked Thomas into some driving lessons here just to give him confidence, got one on Mon before he goes back. The scary thing is when he goes back after Christmas he is driving back to Germany..........aghhhhhhh! xx

and so it goes on.........did she ring ..............NO! She has spent a further £60 since Sunday, I don't know hat to say or do with her anymore. Its going to be her debt not mine, I cant do it. The boys were a nightmare last Sat night, ended up 4 of them came back here from the pub at midnight, had to go down and ask them to be quiet as dh was asleep. I doze off only to be woken up at 1.20am by the doorbell ringing, look out of my bedroom window to see a Chinese man with a torch waving a bag of food at me!! Little sods! x

Bubbs have you had your scan? My appointment with they gynae was cancelled, now next Tues the 12th, always makes me nervous going over to that hospital, its where I got told I had cancer :(

Oh Trips! I can't believe there were still deliveries at that time either!

Hope all appointments have gone well for people.

Jen and josh were Roman citizens in their school nativity. Jen kept bobbing up and down to wave to us throughout the performance 😆. Typical her though.

How are thomas' driving lessons going Trips? Hope he has calmed down a bit now.

Hi soks well my life doesn't seem to get any less stressful! First the good news! My appointment went well, my consultant is so pleased with me he has moved by check up from 3 to 6 monthly! Thomas is home, he had a private 2 hour driving lesson last Tues, yesterday he disappeared with his mate to a tank museum.............in Dorset! Stayed o/night last night and is driving back today, prob worst day of the year to travel............but don't worry Mum it will be fine! Now Rebecca. We were supposed to have picked her up from uni last Mon, by Sun we hadn't heard from her not answering her phone as usual. I contacted her friends but no one replied. So I called her land lady to be told she had left with James on his motor bike on Frid! This is the lad she was accused by her ex of having a relationship with, turns out he was right. Land lady said she thought we knew. So we text him and he ignores, so I start phoning him until he picks up. He said to me your daughter is 19 an adult, she has made up her own mind she doesn't want to speak to you, she is spending Christmas with me and my family and then we are going back to Chichester. I was so upset, kept asking him to put her on the phone but he just kept talking over me. Then he said "just because she popped out of your vagina doesn't mean you own her". He repeated it twice, I was so shocked could hardly speak for crying but said "well fuck you James, fuck the pair of you". To which he replied "oh that's a nice low reply". He then put her on, she was as cold as ice with me, told me the same thing, its he life etc. I was pleading with her, all her presents bought and wrapped, stocking filled, how much I was looking forward to Christmas after the last one when I was on chemo. It made no difference. Her dad spoke to her but was told if we ant to contact her we have to text the boyfriend. We are not going to do that. I am devastated. She is now over £500 overdrawn. I could cry :( xx

Oh @triplets!!! That's awful. this fella is bad news. But she will need to get him out of her system herself, make her mistakes and learn from the consequences. Maybe he will disappear when the money finally runs out...

I don't know what else to say as we're currently not really in contact with my parents due to an incident earlier this year so hmmm...

It's sounds like this James is going to be the gatekeeper for contact between the two of you and I really don't see how that is going to improve things. Who knows if he will even pass messages on correctly, if at all.

Is there any chance of her agreeing to meet with you in a neutral place for a non-confrontational chat just to make sure she is actually ok do you think?

Hi Soks, well the only way we can contact her is through him and we wont do that. I am not expecting to hear from her tomorrow, her poor dad is really hoping. Its hard and its hurting but the ball is in her court. I hope you all have a very lovely, fun Christmas, enjoy! xx

We've had a reasonable xmas. Yesterday PIL came to us which was nice. We managed to keep things relatively calm but it has all gone to pot today. DH is working nights this week, starting last night which possibly doesn't help, but is part of the job and cannot be helped.

Twins are being hilarious and either lovely or throwing tantrums. But it is all good and after tomorrow I hope things will settle down more - I'm taking the tree down as I think the pressure is just too much for James. He completely popped today and while I know he cannot help everything. the combined poor choices of both boys has resulted in their toys being removed from their room again. Jut because they've broken new toys already and just generally are being quite careless, or in James' case, just destructive because he wants to be in control.

@triplets have you heard from Rebecca now?

Hi Soks oh poor James. you know there is so much hype to all be happy at Christmas but its actually a pretty stressful time. No, sadly not a word, we were hoping and hoping she would contact us on Christmas Day. I think they will soon go back to Chichester, prob for NY to join the others in the house. She is spending money like water, now is £666 overdrawn. All so upsetting and worrying. x

James has gone to nana and grandad's last night, for some respite for all of us! They messaged this morning asking if he could stop tonight as well. I've said yes. I need the break. I feel bad, but I've completely crashed today myself and am laid on the sofa feeling rubbish while the other 3 entertain themselves. I've got up to feed them and that's about it. At least this way there is a lot less squabbling.

Have you heard from Rebecca at all Trips?

Surely sooner or later the bank are just going to max out her overdraft?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL...........wheels in the trolley, fizz dregs, pork scratchings and a pint of stout...........

So where is everyone in 2018? Back to normal today, had the inlaws here yesterday which was stressful to say the least, took all the decs down today so all back to normal! James is now out of work until the middle of March, Thomas goes back to Germany on Sat, and still no word from Rebecca, havent heard a word since that awful Sunday night (17th Dec). She is now £850 overdrawn and still somewhere in Essex. He poor Dad is so upset, I have gone through the tears, the anger and now am just biding my time, she knows where we are but we cannot bail her out. x

Where are you all??

Sobs and sits up in bed, day 10 of cough and sore throat

Still no word from Rebecca

Oh @triplets .

I'm so sorry. I can't fathom an answer as to why she might be doing this. Other than her head has well and truly been turned. I've at least tried to talk to my parents.

I wonder if it's pride. It's such a hard thing to get over, even when things are going horribly wrong.

Hello minisoks its just so nice to talk to somebody, feeling very lost and lonely lately. How are you? x

Aw @triplets, you know you can rant away here. Don't be feeling lost or lonely. I know I'm on Rebecca's side of the fence with my parents but they're muppets! You are trying to hard to keep your family together and Rebecca just isn't seeing it right now.

We are good thank you. James is being put forward for an asd assessment by the new School. They have amazed us with their compassion and understanding. They had written an early help assessment (the old caf document) and it is so vastly different from the ones from old school. It upsets me that Ds1 loves his old teacher so much but the school (head/senco) failed him so badly.

Jennifer and Joshua have both started Beavers now. Jennifer was becoming too much of a handful for me at Rainbows so Dh suggested beavers with Joshy. I can't say I wasn't a little sad she wasn't going to continue with guiding but a) she may come back to it some day and b) she absolutely loves it so it was the right thing.

They and Emily have also just done their gymnastics extravaganza. They did us proud. Josh made an awesome pirate for the pirates of the Caribbean theme. He's come on so much in a few short months and really threw himself (literally for his forward rolls) into it. Jen has her coaches in stitches as she prances around in her own little world and Emily has impressed them with her poise, given she too has only been doing gymnastics for a few months. I've asked about her moving to a more appropriate group so we will see what happens.

I am still loving the new house. Although we may have a rodent problem somewhere! Little bleeders have followed us 😂. We can hear movement between the up and downstairs floors. Though no evidence. And we hear noises in the loft. I've been lobbing bait up there but no change yet. So I now need to actually get in there! Such fun!