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D'ya ever wonder... [enter witty phase here]

991 replies

MultipleMama · 15/05/2014 19:45

We fill these up fast! Grin

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Minisoksmakehardwork · 23/06/2014 12:00

I wish I had the confidence to.

Seems it's a 'thing' round here at the moment that men are being idiots. One of the mum's from school has recently moved down my road. She and her husband are on a make or break separation at the moment.

One friend's partner has just admitted when they first starred dating he wasn't exclusively dating her. And that he's been seeing another woman as well. They've just bought a house together.

My sister's ex seems hell bent on maintaining permanent cock status.

As well as you guys!

My sister thinks dh is having a belated 7 year itch. We've been together 8 years on the 27th. I think he's having a midlife crisis as he's 40 later this year. He's already got the two seater (completely impractical) sporty car.

We can only see where we go. But at least he is talking to me now.

Chopstheduck · 23/06/2014 17:52

maybe it's a bit of both :( Hope he sees a bit more sense soon, soks x

bubby64 · 23/06/2014 23:01

Soks-I and my dh now have agreed I have my night out with the girls once a month, and he has a night out with his mates. Trouble is atm, the boot is on the other foot here. I am working my long days, weekends or even nights and he is the one stuck at home with the boys at least 3 evenings a week and every other weekend. I now have stopped going to my choir as I felt me not being around 4 evenings a week is too much, and he is the one feeling hard done by, even if most of the time I am away it due to me working.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 24/06/2014 07:57

Well this morning I've taken the chickens way out and emailed dh to ask him if there's another women. Lots of things don't add up and even if he is just texting another woman, the intention is there and it would explain a lot lately. He's been so distracted by his bloody iPad and even had emails from match.com. Now they're not the sort of company who buy mailing lists so I hardly think they've accidentally got his email address.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 24/06/2014 09:13

After the email I just got back, I probably need to get out for the sake of my own mental health. My head is screwed up apparently. But the question wasn't answered. So rather than fannying around for the next few weeks/months/years I've decided to make plans to go it alone.

bubby64 · 24/06/2014 15:16

Soks- take a deep breath and think. were you really expecting to have an answer to your text question? I know its hard, but you need to talk face to face. I get the feeling you were prepared to ho it alone no matter what the answer to your text would be. This is going to effect your kids as well as you and your dk, and yes, he sounds like he deserves the knob denominator, just like Trips's dk
and Trips - speaking of dk's is he still be tosspot?

Minisoksmakehardwork · 24/06/2014 15:42

I think I feel as if I've been doing most of the actual parenting myself recently so actually what am I benefitting from having dh around. Who moans that the house isn't tidy enough/the kids are misbehaving/x y or z hasn't been done. But sits on his bum playing on his iPad.

Plus I've been naughty and done some snooping. There are emails and messages from another woman to him. And from him to her. Very intimate messages suggesting what they might do to each other.

I get what you mean though. I've taken the chickens way out and done it when he's at work. So he can't really defend himself to me.

triplets · 24/06/2014 22:37

Oh Soks what a mess.............we cant tell you what to do but you do need to sit down and talk, let him be the one to tell you all. How long have you been together? Well my dk (yes still a tosspot) spent most of Sunday trying to be nice to me, it just doesnt wash. Then I give in as I end up feeling sorry for him. He had to go for a colonoscopy this morning which meant yesterday he couldnt eat, only drink clear fluids and take the dreaded prep stuff. He spent from 7pm last night through to 3am today in the toilet! We had to be out by 8am as his appt was at 9am in Ashford. My brother took us as he was going there anyway, dropped us off at 8.45am. Dk was called in at 9am and didnt come out until just on 1pm!! 4 hours I sat there worried they had found another tumour, but everything is all clear. The reason it took so long is they decided to give him an anaesthetic, in fact almost put him out. He has been washed out since he came home, but its over and he has peace of mind that there is no new cancer lurking. So now we can look forward to the weekend, off to Center Parcs in Elvedon! Love it there :)

triplets · 25/06/2014 07:13

Morning all..........who watched Englands final game? Dull wasnt it? I suppose at least we didnt let them score! Off to school today, I expect my three will still be in bed when I get back!

Minisoksmakehardwork · 25/06/2014 16:47

We will have been together 8 years on the 27th. I don't want to just throw it all away.

I've been talking to my mum today. I've decided what I need to do is carry on and see if we can work through this while making a back up plan/savings for a rainy day if the worst happens

I don't want to be a single parent. But the thought of it no longer scares me. Mum thinks it's a combination of mid life crisis/work/depression & stress in numerous areas/need a holiday. Plus now I'm doing rainbows so out every week at least once a week, I'm less accountable to him. In a weird way she thinks he's quite controlling. He wants to know where I'm going, how long I will be and who else is going. And I don't have my friends round to our house whereas I do go to theirs. Although I think most of that is we live further out in no mans land and at least if we go to friends we can pop to a pub or shop if wanted.

Dh still won't talk about the question I asked. So I've decided to drop it for now. I've asked so even though I've not had an answer still, I do feel happier for having done it.

I've also paid up our holiday. So whatever happens in the next few weeks, some of us will be going away! It might be a change of scene will do us all some good.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 25/06/2014 16:48

I love elveden too trips. I hope you have a lovely break there :)

MultipleMama · 25/06/2014 20:33

Oh, Soks. I really hope you manage to sort things out. That must have been devastating to find messages like that. I hope the plonker manages to pull his head out his ass and sorts himself out.

DH and I will have been together 8 years too, but on the 17th. So I can understand not wanting to throw everything you've achieved away. I hope your holiday brings some relaxed time!

House has been pretty calm these passed couple of days, Artie took her first steps today - 3 on them and then fell flat on her face after tripping over her own foot; like mother like daughter. Proud!!!! :)

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MultipleMama · 25/06/2014 20:36

OhandImpregnant...

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Minisoksmakehardwork · 25/06/2014 20:58

Mama! Seriously? You're a nutter GrinGrin

MultipleMama · 25/06/2014 21:20

Completely unplanned, unexpected, and I'm freaking out. DH made it clear he didn't want anymore, I have just got my head around not having anymore, we've been completely safe and so so careful. The 4 sticks say 3+ weeks. I'm really panicking.

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Minisoksmakehardwork · 25/06/2014 21:24

Oh bless you. I know you've said in the past yes you'd love more. And more recently that you wouldn't. I can't imagine where your head is right now. Obviously you are a very fertile couple! But that doesn't help right now. So have a (hug).

MultipleMama · 25/06/2014 21:52

My head is a mess, no idea how I'm going to tell DH. This is the first time I've not been excited or wanting to shout out the news about being pregnant. I feel conflicted and lost. I kinda wish I was ignorant about the whole thing, wish I could pretend it isn't happening. I'm trying to work out dates and make sense of it but nothing is adding up, and I can't remember not not being careful. (hugs back!)

BlueA has his surgery in Aug, we're moving this year to house that needs work, my brother is coming to stay, DH may need to start working away once a month, it's not the right time, but the thought of the alternatives... shit.

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Minisoksmakehardwork · 25/06/2014 23:04

Oh mama! Curl up with him and tell him. I'd hope he wouldn't be cross - it takes two after all. And once you've told him and have him to talk to about it, you can work out where you are going from here. We're here for you.

bubby64 · 26/06/2014 00:37

oh mama- I know you were in 2 minds before your dh put his foot down, and I understand the timing is bad. You have to tell dh and then the both of you list the pros and cons, including the horrible possibility that blueA may have hidden disabilities and need a lot of input from you both.
Soks- you are in an awful situation, especially as you have been snooping, could you admit that to your dk, so he knows what has lead to that unanswered text? We are here for you too darling. xxx
Trips- glad your dk is all clear. is it this weekend you are down our way?
Chops and Shabbs- is everything ok with you two?
I came home after my 1st day back to work for a week to find the house a war zone due to the boys fighting ( J had a girl tell him she likes him, and M told the girls friends his brother was an idiot and not worth going out with!), and my dh has dropped into the knobbishness zone, I was almost an hour late home due to an emergency, (making it a 14hr shift!) and he was pissed off as my meal had gone cold, thing is, I rang him to say i would be late, and he still put it on to cook! Oh, and when he asked me if I wanted a drink, I answered "Yes, a cup of tea please", and he said he was only offering a cold drink, not making tea! He then pissed off up to bed, leaving me alone.Sad
The one good thing here is that J is really enjoying school again, just moving forms has made a huge difference, he has gained 12 +ve behaviour points and zero negative in the past 3 weeksGrin

Chopstheduck · 26/06/2014 07:01

aww Bubby that is brilliant news about J!

Mama, don't you have a tv or anything?! ShockWink Congrats, and I hope DH takes it ok, be prepared to give him a little time to get his head around the idea.

Soks, I really admire you strength in not wanting to give up on your marriage. Maybe the holiday will give you some time to talk more with dh? If he has been a shit and done the dirty on you, I really think he needs to face up to it.

Things are fine here, starting to get used to the idea of having a lot less money, and settling in to my new cheaper, council gym. I'm happy so long as I get my exercise! Starting to get paperwork together for the appeal. Kids are all fine - dd was 14 on the 16th and is now cycling into town 3 miles away on her own and I'm liking the reduction in taxi duties! Still having car issues in any case. We bought a very cheap Merc e class (the kind that has two child seats in the boot) and it has an ongoing issue that the dealer is trying to located and fix.

MultipleMama · 26/06/2014 09:19

So, I told DH, admittedly while he was settlig Artie on his chest. I gave him the positive tests and he sighed and then said "shit... I guess we had that talk too late huh?" I just nodded and it was so uncomfortably quiet for ages, I couldn't look at him and he just kept cursing. He woke me up before he went to work and said that he knew we were keeping it but he wants space and time to wrap his around it and doesn't want to discuss it until then, he doesn't want me bringing it up either. So I guess I have to pretend it's not happening for awhile...

Glad to see you all doing well, Chops. Bubs your dk needs a slap around the chops!

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Chopstheduck · 26/06/2014 09:37

mama, typical man way to deal with it ime! I didn't see dh for three days after I told him I was pg with the dts - we weren't even living together at the time! You've got 8 months, so no harm in a little time for him to get used to the idea, Congratulations!! Grin

Chopstheduck · 26/06/2014 09:41

and I think bubs, soks and trips dh's all need stringing up by the balls! Wouldn't you just love to lock them all in a room together and give them a good talking to!

MultipleMama · 26/06/2014 13:32

Called him this afternoon at work, as usual, so he could talk to the DC and he was really sort with me, like he didn't want to talk to me. I'm starting to come round to the idea, found myself staring into the mirror and saying hi to my stomach -which made me cry. Sigh. Well, he's got until the 18th Jul to get his head out his ass because that's when I've booked a scan for as I think I'll be 6-8 weeks then.

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Chopstheduck · 26/06/2014 15:19

Jsut give him a little space mama, I'm sure he will be fine in a few days once he has got his head around it xxx