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Original poster

Went through our finances and we're fucked.

431 replies

ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 00:34

Unfuckably fucked.
£14900 in unsecured debt
£4500 income pm
£4232 outgoing pm

3 kids at home
no hope of saving for a deposit
credit rating through the floor
DMP’s and IVAs will fuck us even more and mean No hope getting a mortgage ever.

not much hope of getting a better job because of mental health/ADHD

totally stuck and I don’t know where to start,
Have been burying my head in the sand for literally years. Consequences of that are now apparent [redacted by MNHQ]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 10:53

so many helpful tips about Christmas and general spending thank you. My brain is whirring and I need to digest a lot and make a list I think.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 02/09/2023 10:53

Fairydustxox · 02/09/2023 10:46

Omg 😨your rent is more than your wage. No wonder you can't save for a deposit

Show quote history

Not unusual.

The housing system in this country is out of control and unsustainable.

Nanny0gg · 02/09/2023 10:54

ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 10:53

so many helpful tips about Christmas and general spending thank you. My brain is whirring and I need to digest a lot and make a list I think.

Go away and have a cuppa and a chat with your DH if he's around.

Get him to go over plans with you then come back here later.

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 11:01

CornishTiger · 02/09/2023 10:22

By PC I assume you mean Police. I’d seriously look at what impact any debt solutions like IVA and bankruptcy would have on that and disclosure.

Then make a plan.

Firstly you absolutely need to do your budget according to priority. Rent, Council tax, energy,water and food. Then work related and school expenses such as transport and uniform (secondhand as much as possible).

check if you are eligible for any benefits such as universal credit.

I know you have a high ish income, but you also have high rent and depending on the amount of children you can claim for are you may well qualify especially if you have any childcare costs such as wraparound care

Are you eligible to join any social housing registers. Each area has its own criteria and local connections and income thresholds. Research them. Family members such as mother brother father sister can also give you like a connection again check the criteria. This might be the route to long-term secure accommodation.

weve been on our social housing register since 2011. Unfortunately we are classed as suitably housed so are in the lowest band and unlikely to ever be allocated a property. I do still bid every week however, just in case.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 02/09/2023 11:04

You need a 3 pronged attack .

• maximise income.
Are you getting all your benefit entitlements?
Can you do overtime?
Can you sell anything?
Get a lodger?
Rent your driveway out?

•Reduce outgoings
Can you negotiate cheaper utilities?
Cheaper insurance?
Cut back who you spend on at Christmas?
Run a cheaper vehicle?
Use bikes instead?
Have metered water rather than Rateable Value?
Sell stuff?

Address the debt?
Get specialist help? (CAB or a debt charity)

Making your money work hard is a job in itself!

AbbieLexie · 02/09/2023 11:05

It’s doable. Been there got the t-shirt. Please don’t despair - it is overwhelming but manageable to sort. Follow all the good advice. 💐💐💐

Lemondrizzleandacuppa · 02/09/2023 11:06

@ClusterFukt you’re an amazing person for facing up to your debts. Lots of us on this site have had to deal with similar situations and I promise you it will get better.

If you haven’t already done it, I think that you need to have a chat with your family and friends about Christmas. Tell them that things are difficult financially (no need to go into more detail) and you can’t afford to buy presents for everyone, do much entertaining or spend much on going out. You can suggest only buying for younger children up to an agreed price limit (£10?) or doing a family secret Santa. It’s quite likely some of your family will be relieved, as so many people are struggling at the moment.

Livingtoworkworkingtolive · 02/09/2023 11:08

ShadyPaws · 02/09/2023 00:45

If your credit rating is through the floor already then..
Is it credit cards? I rang mine, they stopped the interest and yes it got passed on to a collection company. I pay them £50pm with no interest being added on, it defaulted once it went to them
But that's it - a default. And I'm sitting in a home I got a mortgage on with defaults, I used a specialist broker that even deals with bankruptcy Flowers

@ShadyPaws

I have a credit car with just under £6000 on, it was on a 0% and I was planning to shift to another 0% once it ran out but to my horror I can't get another credit card or loan to shift it to! Credit score isn't great but isn't the worst, it's ok fair. And I always pay min or slightly more. I don't know if the fact that I've moved twice in just over a year ( first home I was there 8 years, moved into a rented house for 12 months but now live in a new house.
I'm paying £300 a month and they are taking £100 interest 😭
So you just rang your provider and what happened sorry? They passed it to someone else and now you pay no interest?

RosieRainbow1986 · 02/09/2023 11:09

Hi OP, lots of really good advice here - I can't think of anything else to add, but just wanted to say you've got this...wishing you all the best.

StJulian2023 · 02/09/2023 11:11

Just echoing previous advice - please please get in touch with CAP - they’ll work with you to help you get this sorted. Having someone alongside you to help should make all the difference.

September is a great fresh start month I think, start of the new academic year and all. Getting on top of this will be so good for you all.

Help with debt

Our debt service works through home visits so we just need to check we are able to cover your area. Please enter the postcode of where you are currently living to find your nearest CAP Debt Centre.

https://capuk.org/get-help/help-with-money-and-debt

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 11:11

I have a spread sheet of all incomings and outings according to bank statements and payslips/benefit payments.

I’ve gone through and cancelled subscriptions, apple storage etc anything that we only want but don’t actually need.

my birthday next week and we’re going to do a picnic if the weather is nice instead of a meal out/presents and DH is going to bake a cake for me with our 7yo DD (accidentally overheard him this morning) which sounds just perfect for me, love them.

OP posts:
Dizzybelle · 02/09/2023 11:12

I have no real advice. But can I just say, please, please don’t get into more debt for things like Christmas. I know people want to make it a special and “magical”, day, especially for the kids, but there’s nothing magical about stressing more about money, all for that one over rated day.

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 11:15

Dizzybelle · 02/09/2023 11:12

I have no real advice. But can I just say, please, please don’t get into more debt for things like Christmas. I know people want to make it a special and “magical”, day, especially for the kids, but there’s nothing magical about stressing more about money, all for that one over rated day.

You and everyone else saying similar are absolutely correct of course. I am so guilty of giving into the pressure of seeing others giving their kids an amazing and magical Christmas and wanting mine to have the same. Not this year. I’m determined.

OP posts:
zingally · 02/09/2023 11:17

Get yourself on the forums of Martin Lewis' website "Money Saving Expert". The people on there are really kind and helpful. You'll get much better practical advice and hand-holding than you will here.

Fairydustxox · 02/09/2023 11:23

ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 11:15

You and everyone else saying similar are absolutely correct of course. I am so guilty of giving into the pressure of seeing others giving their kids an amazing and magical Christmas and wanting mine to have the same. Not this year. I’m determined.

Show quote history

I used to think this too but the same people you see giving their kids everything are probably also up to their eyeballs in debt.

Foxy1616 · 02/09/2023 11:27

You really aren’t in as bad situation as you fear – this is manageable and you’ve caught it soon enough to deal with it!
Your children, even the youngest, are perfectly old enough to have heard about the cost of living increase, and that’s a great “excuse“ if you want to explain why Christmas will be smaller this year or you are cutting back.
The folks over at money-saving expert are brilliant at practical advice to help cut down, but still have a life.
As for debt impacting your husbands work, the most important thing is to be completely honest about it if asked – if you try and hide it & something comes out that will be 100 times worse. (they really want to be sure that your husband couldn’t be put under pressure to be an accessory in a crime for example, with a promise of £10k for his “help”)

Hurrahitsraini · 02/09/2023 11:28

ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 09:53

Thanks all who have posted overnight (even those who came to finger wag/stick the knife in) I am reading through all of them now. I managed to sleep 3-7 so that’s something at least. Some of you are being so kind so thank you for that. I am worried about DH’s job if we disclose the debt. Could he be sacked? He had one CCJ in the past which we paid off to get him through vetting they just wanted a letter of satisfaction and they cleared him to start training. He doesn’t have any CCJ’s in his name now.
He’s doing so well at work and is signed off on everything. Would be devastated for him if they let him go.

If he goes to the Fed himself and asks for debt highly doubt they would do… it would be more if they found out through vetting then he’d not have been honest and the police is all about honesty and integrity. If you go ahead with any type of debt management plan without disclosing it then this can get him into bother. I hope he pays into the Fed? If he doesn’t he must do .
he then needs to email his fed rep ask for meet up and ask for help.
my friend had 30k of debt - she reached out to the fed before psd got involved, they got her in touch with a financial advisor and it’s now all paid off. Didn’t impact on her vetting.
he must reach out to fed asap.

12345mummy · 02/09/2023 11:30

I know a lot of ppl might not agree with this and will say to pay off debts before spending but saving is your answer. Start off small each month for things that you can’t avoid like Xmas! If you could save £50 a month then you have £600 for Xmas and it means when these events come round you don’t get further into debt. Otherwise you’re not living in reality. A good work friend encouraged me to do this and from that day on I managed our finances better and we eventually got out of debt. Good luck OP xx

SecretShambles · 02/09/2023 11:30

HelenaHandbasket84 · 02/09/2023 00:46

Also you can get a mortgage once your IVA is spent. My sister declared bankruptcy and was on an IVA, she now owns a lovely 2 bed flat.

My father had an iva in his 50s and at the age of 77 was granted a 10 year mortgage on a business property!

Anewuser · 02/09/2023 11:30

As a child growing up in a ‘poor’ family (as we were known then), I can honestly say, I don’t remember what gifts I got at Christmas but I do remember all the fun times we had. Playing games at Christmas, having picnics (even in winter), as you say making birthday cakes.

I’m sure your children would rather having you less stressed than have a mountain of presents at Christmas.

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 11:31

Hurrahitsraini · 02/09/2023 11:28

If he goes to the Fed himself and asks for debt highly doubt they would do… it would be more if they found out through vetting then he’d not have been honest and the police is all about honesty and integrity. If you go ahead with any type of debt management plan without disclosing it then this can get him into bother. I hope he pays into the Fed? If he doesn’t he must do .
he then needs to email his fed rep ask for meet up and ask for help.
my friend had 30k of debt - she reached out to the fed before psd got involved, they got her in touch with a financial advisor and it’s now all paid off. Didn’t impact on her vetting.
he must reach out to fed asap.

Show quote history

I don’t think he is but will ask him, he cancelled a lot of stuff to save money.

OP posts:
Scousefab · 02/09/2023 11:32

There’s an amazing debt book by Alvin hall he is now a debt guru and was in loads of debt prior see if you can get a copy from the library or second hand one from Amazon. Cancel all subscriptions, try and limit use of your car. Tell your kids the truth! I remember one year my mum and dad buying us a box of chocolates each I respected them so much for for explaining to us and taught me a massive lesson. Christmas is about being together not about presents they play with for two seconds and discard. You pretty much earn double what I do.

Gingefringe · 02/09/2023 11:33

If you're house is bursting with stuff then that is stressful in itself - getting rid of it will hopefully raise some cash and help towards clearing your mind.

When we had to budget strictly a few years ago we found it easier to deal in cash whenever we could - we'd cash £400/£500 on payday and that had to cover all food, entertainment and petrol. Not sure if that's quite so easy now as so many places are cashless.

Lots of great suggestions on here. You both have decent jobs and regular income so most of it should all be do-able, even if it takes a few years. Good luck OP.

Icycloud · 02/09/2023 11:34

You’re gonna have to live frugally for the best part of a year to pay it off but it’s possible

Emz6103 · 02/09/2023 11:36

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