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Original poster

Should my husband be asking my parents for inheritance money now?

331 replies

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

OP posts:
catlover123456789 · 14/04/2026 21:25

What have I just read? Maybe the corpse bit was a terrible joke, but actually telling them to give you 100k each? What a twat.

springvegetables · 14/04/2026 21:28

He did what?!?!?

My flabber is gasted

Bigcat25 · 14/04/2026 23:00

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

Op, what if anything, did you say to your husband yourself?

Schoolchoicesucks · 14/04/2026 23:25

Gosh, does he have form for overstepping? Why on earth would he have thought it his place to make such comments (even in "jest")? Unless he's a tax advisor and they had asked him for his expert view, there is no way it's appropriate for him to say something. Your brother didn't ask him to and neither did you.

CrystalCrazyCat · 14/04/2026 23:32

They're your parents... not his!. He has no right to say anything the cheeky f*cker.
Divorce!!!

Diblin93 · 15/04/2026 01:15

If my son-in-law spoke to me like that, I would by -pass his wife, my daughter and leave her half of the money in a trust for my grandchildren. I would make sure the bastard didn’t get a penny.

Enrichetta · 15/04/2026 06:35

Diblin93 · 15/04/2026 01:15

If my son-in-law spoke to me like that, I would by -pass his wife, my daughter and leave her half of the money in a trust for my grandchildren. I would make sure the bastard didn’t get a penny.

Either this or at least get legal advice on how the inheritance can be ringfenced for the daughter, so her husband can’t get his claws into it.

dh280125 · 15/04/2026 08:39

Absolutely unbelievable behaviour. If the partner of any kid of mine did that I'd be changing my will just to slight the rude git.

bubmut · 15/04/2026 09:16

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

OMG, I think you have two choices. 1. (my chioce) Divorce. 2. Stay with OH and accept that you are more interested in money and 'looking' like you have a fancy lifestyle to others than being a decent human being. Life is NOT money. Love is NOT money. It is your choice on your own morals and how you want to live your life. Some people choose money over love and happiness, that's their choice.

PeachyPeachTrees · 15/04/2026 09:17

Wtaf! Massively overstepped. Does he know how expensive divorce is?

Snakebite61 · 15/04/2026 10:43

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

He has no right to do this at all. Actually, your parents should inform the police about it.

Gossipisgood · 15/04/2026 11:05

Your parent finances are fuck all to do with your DH so he needs to wind his neck in & stay out of their affairs. Any talk of your parents money should be with you & your brother & you involve your DH once you have decided what YOU want to do with any inheritance if you want him involved at all. I'd be speaking with your parents & ask you DH to apologise if they think your he's has overstepped with them.

ForeverTheOptomist · 15/04/2026 13:12

OMGosh, this is astonishing. Who the hell does he think he is?

Ladygardenerinderby · 15/04/2026 16:02

All I have is “WTF” he’s disgusting

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 15/04/2026 16:19

No way should he be demanding money like this. It is your parents’ money and they should be enjoying it. Besides your parents may need the money for care in the future. Don’t underestimate how much a care home costs.

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 15/04/2026 16:22

Enrichetta · 15/04/2026 06:35

Either this or at least get legal advice on how the inheritance can be ringfenced for the daughter, so her husband can’t get his claws into it.

Show quote history

Actually any inheritance would be your daughter’s sole property unless she chooses to share it with her OH.

Allisnotlost1 · 15/04/2026 16:22

Wwe175 · 14/04/2026 11:58

Agree. In fairness I think my husband meant to be jokey.
Thanks to everyone who took the trouble to reply..

Overwhelming response on here is that my husband overstepped.
Only one commenter has seen this sort of jokey frankness in their family.
My parents might be treating his views as just “noise”. I expect they will keep him firmly out of future family conversations!

Show quote history

Plenty of families have jokes and behaviour that ‘outsiders’ might find weird, so I can empathise with that. But your OP said you found it uncomfortable so it’s obviously not something that’s ok with you. FWIW I’d find a partner speaking to or about my parents like that absolutely revolting and I wouldn’t get over it.

dontletmedownbruce · 15/04/2026 16:35

Tell him to ask his own parents for £100k, and also tell him never to ask your parents for money ever again.

i would be furious.

ForeverTheOptomist · 15/04/2026 18:07

This takes my breath away.

Wait until their dead.

What is wrong with these people?

I realise that this isn't terribly helpful OP, but please be aware that I am with you.

ImGoneUnderground · 18/04/2026 01:33

OriginalSkang · 13/04/2026 16:22

What did I just read?!

I hope you can make him see how awful and inappropriate he was and sincerely apologise

And do you still 'love' him'?????
Have I read this correctly - this is YOUR parents he said this to????
WTF - I could never be with someone like this, who only see ££££ signs when your parents die - get rid, or get them to make watertight wills, excluding him - why should HE benefit from the death of YOUR parents?? (I would be afraid. Very afraid, of someone with such 'morals').

Marieb19 · 18/04/2026 18:10

You husband has been greedy, crass and rude. If I were your parents I would try to ensure whatever money I left to you, in whatever way, would be protected away from your husband.

shhblackbag · 18/04/2026 18:15

Do you have to think that he was joking to be able to look at him? Because that's understandable, I guess. I still can't believe he was this rude.

Celticgold · 18/04/2026 18:25

None of his business! they are your parents I’d be telling him keep his nose out! It’s just a cocky entitled thing to do & put you in a difficult position. You may know what your parents have decided to do with their money when they are no longer here but as it is their money they could give it to a local Cats home if they wanted! Cheeky as F*k I think he is. I think i would be saying there’s the door don’t let it hit your arse on the way out & watch that big head! Screams entitlement.

N22 · 18/04/2026 18:40

No, he should not be pestering your parents in such a manner. It is both disrespectful and ugly.

MarriedTwiceOneGrownUpDaughter · 18/04/2026 18:43

Annonymiss123 · 13/04/2026 16:14

This!! 100%

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Absolutely. He sounds like a "keeper" (not!).