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Original poster

Should my husband be asking my parents for inheritance money now?

341 replies

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Shelby2010 · 14/04/2026 00:40

Maybe he’s planning on divorcing you, so wants to increase the marital assets whilst he can.

Leavesandthings · 14/04/2026 01:26

Holy fuck what a nasty greedy idiot.
Your poor parents. I hope they can stand up for themselves and tell him to fuck off.
Excuse the swearing but my god, who does that?!

Dalston · 14/04/2026 03:48

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

Omg really??????? I hope your parents disinherit you. Your husband sounds like an appalling human, how can you stand being married to him? I’m sure your parents must be shocked and hurt. You are not entitled to their money, or to discussions about their money. Honestly you make me feel sick.

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 14/04/2026 05:59

Your poor parents.
Poor you also.

Should you speak to a lawyer? I don’t like the direction this is going in…(or indeed where it is already at)

HarshbutTrue2 · 14/04/2026 06:48

Just for a bit of context. Saving up to be the richest man in the graveyard is a bit of a joke. It's used for people who hoard money instead of spending it. I've never heard the word corpse used on this phrase.
This still doesn't make the husbands behaviour acceptable

nomas · 14/04/2026 07:04

HarshbutTrue2 · 14/04/2026 06:48

Just for a bit of context. Saving up to be the richest man in the graveyard is a bit of a joke. It's used for people who hoard money instead of spending it. I've never heard the word corpse used on this phrase.
This still doesn't make the husbands behaviour acceptable

Just for a bit of context. Saving up to be the richest man in the graveyard is a bit of a joke. It's used for people who hoard money instead of spending it.

Really? I would never have guessed.

notacooldad · 14/04/2026 08:25

Just for a bit of context. Saving up to be the richest man in the graveyard is a bit of a joke. It's used for people who hoard money instead of spending it.
There are a time and place for dark jokes. You also need to read the room and know your audience. It doesn't help when you are being as grabby as hell and talking about 'fighting' for an inheritance that isn't yours and the people are still alive and kicking.

Gingerwolfe · 14/04/2026 08:42

Your parents money has NOTHING to do with your husband who has behaved appallingly. I would be furious with my husband if he did this. It sounds like he cannot wait for your parents to pop their clogs which is awful for them.

Original poster
Wwe175 · 14/04/2026 11:58

HarshbutTrue2 · 14/04/2026 06:48

Just for a bit of context. Saving up to be the richest man in the graveyard is a bit of a joke. It's used for people who hoard money instead of spending it. I've never heard the word corpse used on this phrase.
This still doesn't make the husbands behaviour acceptable

Agree. In fairness I think my husband meant to be jokey.
Thanks to everyone who took the trouble to reply..

Overwhelming response on here is that my husband overstepped.
Only one commenter has seen this sort of jokey frankness in their family.
My parents might be treating his views as just “noise”. I expect they will keep him firmly out of future family conversations!

OP posts:
YayRain · 14/04/2026 12:05

Wwe175 · 14/04/2026 11:58

Agree. In fairness I think my husband meant to be jokey.
Thanks to everyone who took the trouble to reply..

Overwhelming response on here is that my husband overstepped.
Only one commenter has seen this sort of jokey frankness in their family.
My parents might be treating his views as just “noise”. I expect they will keep him firmly out of future family conversations!

Show quote history

Overstepped is understating it.

nomas · 14/04/2026 12:05

I wouldn’t be surprised if the parents leave it all to the brother after this.

WorstPaceScenario · 14/04/2026 12:12

Your OH is so far out of line here, and the whole "fight them" for your share is the cherry on top of an entitled and cringeworthy cake

DilemmaDelilah · 14/04/2026 17:59

NO! NO! NO!

It's not his money and, unless the estate is entailed, there is absolutely no reason why his parents need to leave anything to him at all. They might choose to donate it all to charity!

NellieJean · 14/04/2026 18:06

LilyMumsnet · 13/04/2026 19:13

Hi all

Just a reminder - troll hunting is against talk guidelines. Further trollhunting posts may lead to suspensions.

What’s troll hunting when it’s at home.

LoftyPlumLion · 14/04/2026 18:06

Agree, tell him to shush, it’s actually none of his business.

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/04/2026 18:11

Wwe175 · 14/04/2026 11:58

Agree. In fairness I think my husband meant to be jokey.
Thanks to everyone who took the trouble to reply..

Overwhelming response on here is that my husband overstepped.
Only one commenter has seen this sort of jokey frankness in their family.
My parents might be treating his views as just “noise”. I expect they will keep him firmly out of future family conversations!

Show quote history

Jokey???? Yeah he’s hilarious.

His behaviour is appalling. What an absolute arsehole. Like others on this thread, I would be giving serious thought to ending things with him. And he certainly wouldn’t be benefitting from a penny of any inheritance.

WilCh · 14/04/2026 18:33

What an absolute a hole!! He’s disgraceful & he needs to apologise asap!

greenteaandlimes · 14/04/2026 18:53

LTB

eulmh · 14/04/2026 19:02

Not acceptable at all!!! I tell my parents to spend their money. They’ve worked hard I’m not expecting them to leave it to us. It’s worse that it’s your parents and not even his. I think he had this in his sights when he suggested the money for your brother. He just wants 100k

Partypants83 · 14/04/2026 19:08

What a horrible man. Sorry you're married to him

KayMarie121 · 14/04/2026 19:14

Furious. Awful and presuming and none of his business before these things have been discussed with you as a daughter.

Endorewitch · 14/04/2026 19:20

Your parents have behaved with grace. Your OH iy an insensitive ,controlling bastard.
How come you are asking us what we think?You should be livid. It id not up to him to decide what your parents do with their money. Unbelievable.

HideousKinky · 14/04/2026 19:21

Your husband has been utterly crass and impertinent.
I would have been mortified if my husband had spoken to my parents in that way

Charlize43 · 14/04/2026 19:40

I hope your parents are considering leaving everything to the Cats Protection now.

seriousandloyal · 14/04/2026 20:54

What a rude and horrible husband you have! So embarrassing that he has spoken to your parents like this, I would be very upset with him.

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