Should my husband be asking my parents for inheritance money now?

[Wwe175]

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

Get the divorce finalised before they die for God's sake.

True colours moment - green is not his colour 🙈

Yet another twat baring teeth at the prospect of reading the will someday. You see ppl for what they are when inheritance looms.

Sending support OP, hope you can navigate this with support from everyone here, whatever happens you're not alone in this.

No he shouldn't have said it, it was entitled and rude and not his place, it's nothing to do with him.

But in some ways he's not wrong, if they give your brother £100k they should give the same to you or if they have £100k going spare they should give £50k to each. Will they change their wills accordingly? Or will the remainder be split 50:50 meaning you would be £100k down. In 10 or 20 years time the gift will be long forgotten.

It is your parents money no one deserves any of it and it's entirely up to them, but it seems a bit like favouritism to give a large sum to your brother and nothing to you. I think your DH was annoyed on your behalf.

But the parents haven’t said they are doing anything. Her OH is the one who suggested they should give £100k to the brother. And then the same for OP.

The OP's parents weren't the ones suggesting they give the OP 's brother a £100k, they aren't showing any favouritism.

It was the OP's husband who wants them to give £100k to the brother. Then another £100k to his wife. From the OPs opening post ...
"He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too."
Guess that's a good way for the entitled gimme-pig to shoehorn into the conversation he wants to get his mitts onto a £100k handout from his parents in law. Present it as a way of helping the brother in law. Such a prince (not).

Wow...my parents have recently broached this topic and it seems that my brother and I will end up with a substantial IHT bill. I have suggested that they give us each £100k, which would pay off our mortgage and bring their estate to a little over the £1mil threshold, but they've said no because they are worried they'll run out of money and I've accepted that. I'm not sure how because they have 5 pensions between them, plus interest on their investments and regular winnings from premium bonds so they have no need to touch the capital but this is their choice.

DH has privately expressed to me that it's frustrating that they'd seemingly rather save the money for the tax man rather than make a big difference to our lives right now but he would never dream of inserting himself into a conversation about it with them.

He married you for your parents money. Bin.

They are probably worried about paying for care if they need it. It can easily be £5-7k a month for a good care home so money can be quickly eaten away.

I understand this to an extent but they are getting almost that in pensions + interest each month so they'd still barely need to touch the capital.

£7k a month per person for 2 people in care for 5yrs = £840,000. Appreciate this is worst case scenario but I can understand why they’d plan for that.

If they get £14k a month in interest etc, this relies on interest rates not changing and if they touch the capital they would get less interest. Plus care will be more over time than £7k a month per person with inflation.

I know people who thought they’d get a big IHT bill and have actually been left fighting to keep their parents in the nice care home because all the money has now gone.

We’ve planned for 10 years each in care homes - (neighbours mum has been there longer!) There’s no way I’m relying on my kids to look after me! For their sake and mine!

Wouldnt you just get a one-way flight to Switzerland?
Can’t imagine pissing away everything I’ve worked for for my entire life and putting my children on the back foot
To sit in some shitty hell hole

A one way flight to Switzerland would suit me - I’m not worried about my kids though - they aren’t expecting an inheritance- they’d prefer to have freedom from elderly care.

But I don’t think paying for quality care is a waste of our money. I’m just not keen on living a poor quality of life. Call me selfish but my kid’s lives do not take priority over mine - I’ve done enough and more for them. They are well prepared for life, if they chose to work hard or sleep on the job that’s up to them.

I can absolutely imagine BIL saying this to his parents out of frustration and straight talking.

I'm married to the siblings living in literally a wreck of a place, to be honest 100k wouldn't be enough but would buy in help. We are aging quicker than the DIY approach is succeeding. I've grown to hate it.

BIL is wealthy but very much money equals love.
SIL is jam today but also chronically ill.

The in-laws finances are all over the place. They are obsessed with avoiding CGT and think they will.live forever. Huge sums outside of unused ISA wrappers. Money tied up in property not accessible for rainy days.
It was a rainy day and they resentfully solved it through income which has left them feeling poor.

They could absolutely afford to give away 300k now rather than wait till death and it to be worth 180k from locked away assets but I genuinely like your DH think they want to be the richest copses in the ground.

Your husband is not in a place to be telling or advising your parents about money and who they should give it to. What a cheeky fucker!!!!

i hope you’re reading him the riot act.