I can't claim any further benefits because of husbands income, but i dont have access to his money

[Worriedmum029337]

Im sure this is a common situation and I know the government can't really do anything about it or help. But just because you are married does not mean that everyone's finances are shared out.

I have found myself disabled and unable to carry on working. I have been able to claim new style esa which is roughly £350 a month. This is because I've paid enough national insurance for past 2 years but they will only pay me for 12 months. Im halfway through that time and yet to even have to medical assessment which if passed would mean its indefinitely at roughly £550 a month. Ive heard its very hard to pass this assessment tho.
In addition to this I have been awarded pip. Full mobility and lower daily life which is £603 per month. In total I am currently getting £953 roughly per month. I am grateful for this but this does not cover my Outgoings and will also end in 6 months if i dont pass the medical assessment.

I cannot apply for universal credit top up because I am married. My husband earns ok but he keeps all of his money for himself after paying his side of the bills. I don't have access to his money and he won't give me any access. Meaning I am getting in debt by a minimum of 500 a month. My mum has been helping me when she can but cant give me that all the time.

I am thinking about separating from my husband as I would actually be better off financially by a long way!!

Women are always the ones to suffer in these situations. It doesnt matter if your married to millionaire , you may not have access to that money.

Im starting to feel like I am going to have to go back to work regardless even though I am in agony daily and its a degenerative condition

Totally agree with you about her DH being responsible for her, but her DH and not me, that's the point

She's in a abusive marriage so she should divorce.

She's already got government help! She's saying it's not enough and implied that it's not fair. Why on earth should the government give to a married unit that already has enough income?

A different opinion is not 'dirty', it's different.

There is no suggestion that she is not able to get away and move on, in fact, she suggests divorce, and at no point do I suggest that she needs to stay. But if she chooses to stay, then of course she's not entitled to any further benefits, the household has enough money.

Because the husband is no longer behaving like they are married so she needs to get out.

Agree. It's the idea that she expects benefits whilst living in a household that doesn't need them that has boggled my mind.

Benefits aren’t there to enable break ups and pick up after every misfortune in life. They’re supposed to be a safety net of the minimum so people who absolutely cannot work do not starve or go homeless.

In that case, any taxpayer should have the right to access everyone else’s medical records because they’re ‘paying’ for it. Medical records are confidential, if you were unaware.

Are you a doctor? How are you qualified to dictate whether OP could work or not?

Crimes this is dire Op. Divorce him.

Man some people have been really hurt by life on this thread. Need to get laid, or whatever puts a smile on your faces . Christ!

I would dispute that you want a conversation; you've not conversed so far, more an inquisition because my opinion differs from yours.

‘Are you a doctor’ 🙄

I think we're talking about self diagnosed here aren't we? Obviously not diagnosed as unfit for any work, by a doctor otherwise OP would not be on here asking our opinion.

I bet many of you take more from the government than you give so get over yourselves. No one should be forced to stay in a relationship like this.

You need to divorce him

Well, obviously, yes, for example, if you're employed by the State. But the OP has stated that it's easier if she doesn't work and that she's 30 years from retirement age. You can't decide it'll make your life easier and expect the state to fund you. Most people's lives would be easier if they didn't work but it's not realistic, is it?

If you do divorce him are you going to be able to support yourself physically and financially, where could you live, what's the situation with the house, would you be entitled to a share of the house proceeds which would affect any benefits,

I quite agree that he should. He is the one at fault. But that doesn't answer the question of what she is actually supposed to do for money given that her husband isn't fulfilling his marital duty.

Of course not. They wouldn’t give ESA to self-diagnosed people, she’d have to have been signed off. Only a doctor can decide whether she’s fit for work or not. I took it as someone who is genuinely disabled, but being financially abused by her husband and asking for advice on whether she’s entitled to more benefits.

Obviously the answer to that is no. But she doesn’t need people getting boot in, telling her that she’s not really disabled because she doesn’t want to share sensitive medical information, in addition to suffering domestic abuse. It’s bullying.

Only a doctor can decide whether she’s fit for work or not.
well, the way I understand it , and please correct me if I'm wrong, you can just phone the doctor and they agree to you being signed off.. I remember seeing a Tv programme about this a few months ago. This TV programme also named a organisation that advises on this. I'm sure I'm not wrong that this TV programme was shown.

I’m sure a doctor would issue a fit note via a phone consultation if you needed a few days off work with flu or similar. If they’re to sign you off long-term, they need evidence that you are long-term sick (either seeing you in person or acting on information from your consultant or other health professionals). Similarly if you were asking for repeated short-term fit notes, they’d want to see you.

Just as an example, my aunt was very ill with a debilitating incurable autoimmune disease, and only a year off retirement. She was allowed to claim ESA for a short time, before being kicked off and forced to look for work, at which point she had a massive stroke. It’s not easy to get these benefits. You need proof of your illness.

Not true. My dd had to go to a face to face appointment. They looked at her records, her diagnosis’s and asked her a lot of questions before writing a sick note, when that sick note ended she had to have a phone call from the GP. Dd has several conditions which means she can’t work full time (she does manage part time).

GP’s have cracked down on writing sick notes, they don’t just dish them out.
If OP is claiming or trying to claim Limited work capacity (which is similar to the old ESS) she will need to provide evidence of diagnosis and will be asked to attend an assessment which will be face to face. I am pretty sure OP isn’t self diagnosing herself with a random illness, though living with such an ass hole of a husband is enough to make anyone depressed and ill.

This

Hopefully 🤞

Thank god you’re married. Divorce, this is financial abuse. Hire a forensic accountant. Get all the evidence you can sneak of his assets before you tell him anything.