I can't claim any further benefits because of husbands income, but i dont have access to his money

[Worriedmum029337]

Im sure this is a common situation and I know the government can't really do anything about it or help. But just because you are married does not mean that everyone's finances are shared out.

I have found myself disabled and unable to carry on working. I have been able to claim new style esa which is roughly £350 a month. This is because I've paid enough national insurance for past 2 years but they will only pay me for 12 months. Im halfway through that time and yet to even have to medical assessment which if passed would mean its indefinitely at roughly £550 a month. Ive heard its very hard to pass this assessment tho.
In addition to this I have been awarded pip. Full mobility and lower daily life which is £603 per month. In total I am currently getting £953 roughly per month. I am grateful for this but this does not cover my Outgoings and will also end in 6 months if i dont pass the medical assessment.

I cannot apply for universal credit top up because I am married. My husband earns ok but he keeps all of his money for himself after paying his side of the bills. I don't have access to his money and he won't give me any access. Meaning I am getting in debt by a minimum of 500 a month. My mum has been helping me when she can but cant give me that all the time.

I am thinking about separating from my husband as I would actually be better off financially by a long way!!

Women are always the ones to suffer in these situations. It doesnt matter if your married to millionaire , you may not have access to that money.

Im starting to feel like I am going to have to go back to work regardless even though I am in agony daily and its a degenerative condition

It’s good that you got better. But just because you managed to doesn’t mean everyone can.

Marriage used to mean "for better or for worse" but it sounds like DH only wants the "better" side of it. Start planning your divorce and get all your ducks in a row before you speak to him because he is already a 1st class B and will be even worse when he knows you are divorcing.

Because her sorry excuse for a husband doesn’t want to honour his marriage vows. HTH.

Yep.

Ju don’t pay it save what you can and leave. Do you have someone you could stay with? He’s a selfish fucker.

LTB.

The law assumes a married couple work as a team and share everything, this is why it is the default 50:50 if/when you divorce this loser.

Remind him of his vows and then divorce him taking 50% of everything to set yourself up.

So he is trying to bully you back into work when you have a degenerative illness.

Fuck me what an absolute prick. Imagine being so selfish that you’d allow your disabled wife to go into debt whilst supporting your family. Leave the bastard and take him for all he’s got. Both he and you deserve it.

I'm in a similar position OP i.e. disabled but don't get any money due to my husbands earnings. I'm currently weighing up applying for PIP but I'm getting a new treatment and if it works I think it would take me out of eligibility even if I was still unable to work. Its a very difficult place to be.

My DH does however support me financially. I sometimes have to ask him to top up my account and my outgoings are small but if I need something I only have to ask him. It would be impossible to exist like this if he didn't. I'm so sorry your Dh isn't being supportive and as others have said its abusive behaviour. Please consider if this man is really someone you need in your life.

And it doesnt mean just give up and allow tax payers to step up

She is married, she has a husband who is earning. Why the fuck is the default - claim off the government? ( ie the taxpayer)

The OP doesn't have income problems, she has marriage problems and to give advice saying sack him off and let us tax payer look after you , is just so wrong on so many levels

What is your disability?

Op you deserve better than this. This is the height of selfish on his part.

Divorce! It's a no brainer, be comfortable and happy or stay with someone who comfortably sees you stress and borrow money.

You sound very bitter.

And you know this how?

What...?

Technically you are not married you are separated. Apply for universal credit stating that you are separated.
The man is basically a room mate and you are a bang maid. Roommate with benefits

Does anyone know what the OPs disability is?

You don’t say what your illness is. Do you know for a fact you cannot return to work indefinitely?

He is breaking his wedding vows by keeping you in poverty. Marriage means agreeing to be a partnership for richer or for poorer ie both rich or both poor, shared. If he won't share, divorce him, you'll get half the riches he's been hoarding and will qualify for benefits if that's not enough to live on.

Just divorce him, maintenance award and calculations of your UC claim would account for the maintenance, which seems fair all round.

I suspect it is to maximize the sympathy and it is working.

You get £953 a month, even if you weren’t married / partner have a high income you wouldn’t be getting much more on benefits? I’m not sure what you think you are missing out on . Obviously husband not stepping up is another matter

Bingo.

Run for the hills.

The nonsense people put up with is beyond me sometimes. He has active contempt for you. That's not a partner, it's an enemy.