House Hold Income 85K a month net

[cripplinglyalone]

My house hold income is 85k a month net. I am money rich but support /family poor. AMA.

Ask Me Anything

I have a friend who was in a remarkably similar situation to you, different business area - but equally short lived. They retired before 50 with crazy savings, but next to no friendships that didn’t depend on money or her job and divorced.

Now, they work in the charitable sector supporting a very specific area in several places (sorry, deliberately vague). Life seems to be much more fulfilling, but they have a good safety net. They tried not working and hated it, so chose to give back the knowledge they’d gained in previous business; some positions are nominally paid and others are voluntary.

Friend is much happier, refuses to mention finances to new friends and lives in a ‘regular’ house in a normal area. They have a close family after remarrying.

what would you like to do when you retire @cripplinglyalone ?

How do you protect your income / savings from bank failure?

I like your idea... and your username :)
There could be some money to be made here.

My salary does feel unfair when I look at others. Like nurses and lifesvers. I worked my way through college and uni and know how hard low pay jobs can be.

l am often surprised by the Mumsnet Crowd who love to boast about their earnings and Conspicuous Conunption.

Bur this just sounds like an idiot piss take to me.

Grow up

I don't believe this.

Being able to spell household would be a start.

It's not House Hold, OP.

This is a good question. I have had a few questions a bout looks and beauty.
I grew up very naturally slim and conventionally attractive. The changes to my looks have been age and weight gain mainly. I still think I carry myself welll. It is very hard to verbalise, but I do enjoy the invisibility that comes with not standing out any more. I can go to the shops and be invisible. People also make sooooo many more comments about bodies and weight if you are 30, pretty and 2 stone overweight. Once you get to my stats, they give up trying to save you 😁

One thing about being fatter is people can absolutely write you off as less intelligent. Especially in the Dr's office. The GP will literally be 'you're fat! Byyyye'
I find that the hardest part about the way my looks don't correlate with my wealth.

Can I have 5000? Please.

The problem is that you could have the same emotional problems and loneliness without the money and it would be a lot worse. You say you have a nanny so dont you have a partner and children?

And?…

What do you do for work?

Cleaners are just so cheap for me, my cleaning company is 13p/h, I pay her £20p/h but its £60 a week so I don't notice this amount.

How small is your house that you only need 3 hours a week for cleaning? I've also never heard of an agency charging minimum wage - where is their markup?

My cleaner takes 5 hours per week for a 4 bed 2 bath house. On your income I'd expect your house to be a lot larger than mine...

Read the thread and you'll find out!

What’s the point in earning so much more than you actually need?

Have you read the OPs posts? In what way would this be a piss take? This is a really sad thread that has made me so grateful for my loving family. OP isn’t boasting she is explaining how she earns a lot, what she spends it on, and how it doesn’t fill the void within. If you read it differently that says more about you than her.
I have a DS who is earning big money and he struggles to stay in contact with his childhood friends without seeming a show off. He still drives an old Polo because it’s convenient and hires something better when it suits. He has a spare room in central London so they all visit him when in town. I think because he was voted “Pupil most likely to become a Millionaire” at High School they expect it of him and don’t give him a hard time. He is working on FatFIRE too.
Sending best wishes to you OP. I hope this thread has given you some ideas for making your life warmer and more rewarding.

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely OP, I can imagine its difficult to build new friendships when you're wealthy and worried about people's motivation for befriending you. You sound like a lovely mum who has worked hard and had a little bit of luck along the way.

I'm naturally quite introverted and find it difficult to force myself to engage with new people, but I tell myself I can do and will do anything for my kids. I have a lovely close group of lifelong friends but they're all at different life stages to me so I can feel a bit lonely at times too having small children. So I accept and host the play dates, attend the nursery parties and make small talk, don't overshare but won't be stand-offish. You sound good humoured, intelligent, kind and I'm sure you could make some genuine friendships. Do you have a partner?

I hope therapy helps your confidence, and you manage to build a lovely support network that values you for you and not your bank balance.

Hi OP.
I know a bit how you feel, my parents died young and never met my kids. DH’s family are not interested and its a great weight feeling you are the only one your kids have.
We earn okay, not anywhere near your income though. Do you save for your kids? It does make me feel better that I can put £100 a month in their ISA, I wish I’d started a pension for them too, but I think too late now.

The Lonely feeling - I get that too. I think people just haven’t gone back to normal since Covid, people retreated into their family bubbles and have stayed there! It’s really hard to make friends the older you get.
Some of the ambivalence and pity party stuff could be menopause if you’re old enough? Hormones are tricky buggers!

I go with what is close to my heart. Regular giving to a homeless charity. Regular to hunger charities. Regular to wildlife and then I get involved in local charities and give donations monthly or ad-hoc to those.
I agree strongly with other posters here, charity does not have to be monetary. I stay anonymous with school donations as don't want anyone feeling like they have to compare.

I know a few that get paid that in cash, but stock is great too. 3, 5, or 7 year tail?

Make sure you sell some of that stock and don’t just hold it all. Your risk is far greater whilst you build wealth. If you’ve only got £1.5m saved you’re far from wealthy just yet. Hold on to the gravy train whilst it’s running.

Clearly you have no real life exposure to top earners.

Two of my best friends earn over £2m a year. I know plenty on £1m. Thank them, the pay a SHIT LOAD of tax.

Tech pays silly money for the right heads. 85K net, I know. This is inflated due to stock growth which is granted as part of total compensation in these roles.

I guess its why I did the AMA as literally feel like I could be any one of you here who suddenly landed higher pay.

Not interested so I have hidden this thread

I do this too. Plus EMDR was so unexpectedly helpful for me, I want to shout about it too at times!

Thanks, your words are very kind. My income has shot up quickly. I am squirrelling and know it won't stay this high. The increase has coincided with poor health so I don't enjoy it as much as I would have done.

Kids are in a normal school because it is a small and happy school, but I won't lie it is incredibly freeing knowing I can take them and plonk them straight in private if our school stops feeling right.