House Hold Income 85K a month net

[cripplinglyalone]

My house hold income is 85k a month net. I am money rich but support /family poor. AMA.

Do you agree that cereal is technically soup?

So much of charitable funds are taken up with huge wages, offices, perks etc. If i had money i would find a struggling family and donate anonymously. For a struggling family even a few thousand can have a significant impact. In a previous role I managed to secure funding to send a single parent and her two sons on a weeks caravan holiday at the seaside. Food, travel and spending money were included. It may not seem like much but for that one week. Mum was stress free and the kids had a fantastic time. Don't get me wrong OP, I dont begrudge your wealth or dismiss your efforts but I hate a world where one family have £85K per month to spend and another a few miles down the road are dreading Christmas because their wages barely cover basic living expenses. I grew up in one of those poor families. watching my Mum struggle everyday for years, trying her utmost to feed us while working several jobs and being treated as if she was less than human has its own type of trauma.

Sorry you lost your parents young and thanks for your kind words.

I do save for them, Junior stocks and shares ISA and a hefty chunk of premium bonds for now. I am learning this savings malarkey as I go. You saving 100PCM is doing amazingly. This will add up so much.

Yes I think peri-menopause has entered my sorry circle as well.
Take care x

If this thread were remotely true ( I’m a high earner ) you’d have been able to answer this instantly and would know it’s possibly the highest concern of high earners.

I’m sorry you feel so alone OP. It sounds like your experiences as a child are still massively impacting your day to day life and if there are any therapy options you could explore I agree with others you should try it.

This reminds me a bit of people talking about winning Euromillions and how amazing it would be and how happy it would make them. I’m always a bit dubious it would last. It’s a bit trite to say money doesn’t buy happiness but to some extent it’s true. While a lack of money can make you deeply stressed and unhappy there is definitely a point where you earn enough that you can meet all your needs and a reasonable number of your wants where having any more is a very temporary boost to how you feel.

As a household we earn about £85k/year net of tax and I feel like we are in that zone where we have enough money it’s not a big stressor. There will be a million things we could spend more money on that would be nice but ultimately we just don’t need more. We have a lovely, affordable house in an area with great state schools. We can fund holidays, family days out and classes for the kids as well as our own hobbies. If sometimes we have to choose between the best seats at the theatre and only going once or the cheap seats and going several times that’s not exactly hardship.

What do you feel like you need to feel happier? Obviously you can’t change your family but could you build a village with friends so you have a group around that you can offer support to and be supported by?
On a lighter note what’s your craziest recent impulse spend and do you regret it?

Much smaller budget but mine are probably talking my kids to see Hamilton 3 times over a 5 week period while it toured near us this year and buying a posh beauty advent calendar .

So sorry to hear tha tthe NHS has let you down. I feel you.

I have had pretty good private insurance with work for 20 years. Private can be a whole different kettle of fish when they start getting picky with pre existing conditions. The good packages with the big tech companies usually include pre-exisint (but they still try for long term condition loopholes) I know you said you have a business but is private insurance something you have looked into? Just tread carefully as once you've used up the 'life' for one condition, that can be it.
It might give you the answers you seek.

AI is frightening, my field is cutthroat, layoffs are rife, done without a shred of compassion. At no point can I lay back and take this for granted. Colleagues are frazzled.
I am sorry you have business worries, my only advice is invest where you can.

I grew up poor too and I do understand. I give regularly to charities but my day to day is absolutely filled with trying to make a difference to the exact lives you mentioned. Sending someone on holiday, giving them cash, tapping my card at the checkout of someone struggling with groceries... I look for these chances every single day and it feels good.

Thanks for your understanding words.
Computer science degree, masters and a good solid uni but not oxbridge of anything fancy like that.

I'm very sorry, and I'm also very sorry that you are clearly out of sorts with life, but this isn't making any sense as an explanation of your income.

Increase in the value of stock holdings is not increase in income, that money stays in the shares until you sell them. The value of the stocks falling will not affect your income, only a fall in dividends issued by your company will do that.

Of course if you are being given more shares each year, then your dividend payments will increase your income but it's a bit difficult to envisage you being given as many shares as would get your income up as high as it is from dividends. You would be worth many millions in shares alone. And in any case that's not what you are saying is the source of your £85k a month.

You are a truly extremely rare individual to earn such sums by coding, and, as you say, living proof that money does not buy happiness. I can say though, as someone who considers themself well off but is voluntarily estranged from family support (ha!), that I think it's a darned sight easier to cope when you can afford anything you want than if you are scratching around to pay the increases in the bills.

I hope you find some answers in the coming year and can arrive at a more content place in life.

I've mostly read your replies, OP, and I honestly do feel for you. I am in the 'poor but happy' contingent, all the money you have wouldn't make me any happier and your post has made me feel so so lucky to have what I do - loving and supportive family (adult kids).

I hope you can take joy from the small things and find your inner peace.

I am an absolute newbie when it comes to savings. We have earned well for quite a few years now, but lifestyle creep happened and it was not enough to build significant pots.

Now I keep my money spread out in a combination of fixed 4% savings accounts. (FCA protection limit went from 85K to £120k yesterday) Some investment platforms like vanguard, some premium bonds, some cash, even some gold! I use youtube to learn as I go. I have made a few mistakes. I am still using the same accountant I got when my salary went above 100k and I needed to go an annual declaration for HMRC. I have never tried to find a tax loophole or avoided any tax. But ISA, premium bond winnings and capital gains on gold soverigns are all tax exempt.

I agree, it does. Maybe OP you would still have had this life of feeling lonely and unfulfilled but without money and choices. Life is just shit like that sadly. Im fortunate to not feel lonely. I have wonderful kids and some siblings who I love to bits and a couple of close friends so I do consider myself rich in that sense. I wouldn't give that up for money, but God I would have loved not to have struggled financially. Being poor is absolutely shit and has caused me many problems over the years. I cant help thinking that you feeling this way is more than just feeling disenfranchised. You are in an amazing position so maybe you just haven't found the thing that makes you tick yet or fills up your cup so to speak. Instead of donating money, why not role your sleeves up and actually go and work in an area with disadvantaged groups. I can honestly attest to how rewarding and humbling that is.

Please get some help in RL.
I'm sorry you are so unhappy but anyone with a smidgeon of financial sense can see what you're saying does not add up- literally.

Not even close . Nice try.

I'm assuming you mean £8500 not £85 000 per month?

Haha! No, she doesn't.

The more OP posts the more odd it seems.

How we'd all love a job like her where we earned £250K basic and could spend half our day online on MN.

The income will honestly make complete sense to anyome here on the same field as me. I will try to explain arghghg:

When you join the big tech company you are given a monetry value chunk of stocks as part of your sign on- these then vest over the next 3, 4, 5 years. So if the company gives you a stock grant when you start of 1 millonusd, that is determined at the stock price the month you start. So if the stock price for your comany is 100usd per stock and you got granted a million, you then hold 10,000 unvested shares. Your company will have a vesting schedule, but lets say its yearly over 3 years, it means 1/3 of your shares will vest- become yours- each year so 3333 shares. This is determined at hire stage. So now you have your yearly vest figure, the stock price does and has skyrocket during those three years, so each stock was worth 100 USD when it was granted, that same stock is now worth 610USD, but your vest of 3333 shares is set in stone as long as you don't leave- its your stock just not vested, so now you are getting 3333 x 610 usd this year - that's 2,033,033million USD, just for that one year.
There are videos online that explain this a LOT better than me.

If its easier to doubt me that really is OK. If it makes your day feel better to think I am a lunatic in laalaa land, I am OK with that. I work mainly with US teams so my day annoyingly usually kicks off a bit late. But I will admit, I am not hard graftintg all day. My skills are niche and not labor intensive. Of course elements of huge pressure, but it is inwaves.

My replies are absolutely choc full of typos too (why is there no spellcheck on here?) and you would expect someone of my 'standing' to be able to type 😁

I am so sorry that this is upsetting you so much If the mods do verify peoples claims I will provide payslips just becasue I am really interested to see how you would apologise/ admit none of this is wrong or untrue.

Payslips! Nope

I have now reported your accusation that you are doubting my post and asked mods to contact me to prove myself. Telling someone they are lying just becasue you can't comprehend figures is a bit bizarre. Look at the replies here who all earn or know someone in similar fields. A bit terrifying that someone so bitter is walking among us here....Please, for everyone here, do tell me what is not adding up about the finances. I am learning as I go, I have 1.5 million saved and everything I say about my savings is correct.

Never publically, but if there is a way to verify discreetly with the mods, I will do this. All of my income shows onmy payslips despite the RSU portion being taxed at vest, it still shows on my payslip so my totoal gross for the complete year is around 2m.