House Hold Income 85K a month net

[cripplinglyalone]

My house hold income is 85k a month net. I am money rich but support /family poor. AMA.

We all feel pretty lonely at times, OP. Sometimes it happens quite often( even all the time). I understand your family situation isn’t great, but what about your childhood or uni friends? I really think our only true friends are usually the ones from long ago; later in life you mostly end up with acquaintances. Could you reach out to the people from your past — the good ones? Are there any?

Edited this bc I realised you are actually replying and likely aren't a troll. Sorry!

Have you considered psychotherapy? Or counselling ?

Not necessarily. An ex colleague of mine works for a large supermarket chain and had to investigate some odd email stuff that a senior member of the company was getting. Turned out the user was buying property abroad and was on £80k per month. Can see how he was affording holiday homes with that kind of money. He wasn't the only one on that salary or more. The Head of Food retail took 1.5 million that year

I hear you OP.
I earn only a fraction of what you do but even if I did, I genuinely have very very little emotional support in RL and its shit, so no amount of money would make up for that.
All the money in the world cant buy you family or true friendship.
My immediate family have virtually disowned me because of jealousy for various ridiculous reasons. I know I'm better off without them but it still really hurts esp around the festive season.
I have however made a couple of virtual friends here on MN and I really enjoy having a catchup via PM. We might even meet in person one day! Its actually quite lovely talking to someone who doesn't really know me!
Feel free to PM if you ever just want a non judgemental chat about your day 😊

I have the strongest side to me ever. I can comand a room full of people in a good way. People tell me their absolute deepest darkest stuff after 30 mins of meeting them. People trust me. Animals like me, I know I am OK deep down. I wish I could see that on the down days.
I want my fleeting moments of confidence to be solid and reliable and not wrapped in weird webs of self doubt and isolation.
I know it sounds like a very self centered answer, I could say cure world hunger or bring the insects back, but all that stuff I try to make a difference every day.

Thank you for taking the time to ask me.

I can empathise @cripplinglyalone Loneliness is hard.

I also lack any biological family now after a hard childhood. My trajectory was a surface level privileged childhood, which wasn’t at all happy. Cutting contact was such a relief but, as I also have a checked out DH, the loneliness is hard. I feel ashamed of feeling jealousy of people with family.

Revisiting therapy is a good idea. I may have taken it a bit far and incorporated it into my career arc 😂 Feel free to DM for suggestions

Good for you OP!
May I ask two questions?
First is have you always been in tech or did you move into the field after doing other stuff, and the second is one my DD asks everyone she meets: how old are you? 😁

I had some EMDR and it did help. I think I will revisit. thank you.

What is your exact role in tech - would be helpful for directing my DDs in terms of career choices

AI (yes I know!) says 1.856 mill per annum gets you that per month.

It's as the saying goes 'money doesn't buy you happiness'.
I can imagine that actually. You could potentially buy whatever you wanted, but even if you bought a new pair of Louboutins every day; you're still coming home to loneliness within yourself.
Do you have any time for hobbies? Somewhere you could get out one evening a week to chat and have a bit of a giggle? Meet new people? I know you said it's hard though. Could you start therapy and talk through your childhood and adulthood? I had therapy for some issues and continued with the weekly sessions. I find it so helpful to have 45 mins a week that I can talk, vent, chat to someone who is interested.
I can definitely see your point though. Loneliness is a really low feeling. Could you be suffering with depression?

Thank you and sending hugs for your struggles too. It is really hard. People see it as so so much more money than it is when you earn more than them. Ther eis this 'she can pay, she's good for the money' mentality. Or bitterness if you don't pay for it all. You can't cure everyones crisis.

are you on antidepressants? Just because they make most people ravenous!

I don’t want to merail your ama but I had a traumatic childhood and I find I either struggle to attach to people or can totally attach to the wrong people. Im lucky now I have a good relationship and friendships but those periods with neither were absolute hell. I can sympathise with how you’re feeling.

You have this money, I would love for you to get some amazing therapy, consider a single life if your relationship isn’t working and just have a life overhaul. I feel so many people stay in shit and miserable situations because they can’t afford to leave, but you can!

I really hope things turn around and you get to enjoy your hard earned money 💕

I believe you. Our current annual take home is over double yours. Tech derived too. On mumsnet a lot of people have this weird blindspot where they just can't conceive of anyone having such high income/earrnings so accuse posters of lying. We do exist!

How much does a full time housekeeper cost ?

Thank you. SOme of these kind replies have really made me think. I always said no o I am an anxiety girl, but maybe this is depression, Its very slow and heavy and maybe Ijust needed to say all this out loud to hear myself.

It is odd isnt it. the finance forums on Reddit, where people are clealry discussing high salaries/ savings are FULL of replies accusing LARPING (Live Action Role Playing)
If I was gonna LARP I would be a brazillain supermodel with a private jet and a side guy.

My question is, with your friends or acquaintances, do you freely discuss money, holidays, your home, the great expensive restaurants you've been to etc?

I earn more than most of my friends and was also fortunate to have parental help with a house deposit too back in the day. Part of me doesn't want to avoid discussing stuff as I'm a naturally open person and don't want to be disingenuous. Part of me doesn't want to sound like I'm bragging or insensitive.

What do you do?

Completely agree. There's nothing as lonely as being in an unhappy marriage.

I have never tried meds. I think in my job I am terrified of anything duling my executive function. I am someone else in my field, very very lucky it comes naturally.

Join one the MJ thread on here for the month you started, Op. Honestly some of the nicest, most supportive threads I have come across on Mumsnet.

I learned the hard way not to share income. People see it as way different than it feels when you actually get there. I do have some extremely good old friendships, I am grateful for those girls every day. But we don't talk money.

Big tech.

What did you have for tea?