In laws request change mortgage/postnup.

[ThisGutsy]

My husband is due to receive inheritance, because of this, his mother has requested to change our mortgage from joint tenants to tenants in common, which would include a post nup! We’ve been together for 20 years & married for half of that so to me it seems weird to request this at this point of our marriage? Just wondering what others feelings are on this matter or have advice moving forward. I’m not keen on the idea.

It easier than that.

He tells his DM 'No'.

I'm horrified he didn't immediately shut his mother down.

I'd be telling him that if after 20 years of marriage he distrusts you enough to think you might be out to fleece him, the marriage is over. And it will be at some point, not because of the money but because his treatment of you will rankle so badly your resentment will (reasonably, imho) grow.

Just briefly, in the UK an inheritance is not marital property automatically. It depends how it's handled. It is NOT like any other asset in this respect.

The mil should leave everything to the grandchildren if there are any.

It’s very different. Joint tenants means the share of the house passes automatically to the surviving spouse. If tenants in common it can be willed to whoever they want. It doesn’t provide any more protection from care fees than joint tenants, to a spouse still resident in the property after the partner goes into care.

Regardless of tenancy, the property cannot be sold for fees while the spouse is in residence - it’s exempt. If the partner in care dies, their share passes to the surviving partner and then the whole of the property is liable for fees if they subsequently go into care. The only people who benefit from tenants in common are those to whom the share of the house is willed, so the surviving partner would burn through funding sooner and would be at the mercy of social services once the funding pot had run out.

Yep. If the inheriting partner keeps it in a separate account in sole name and no part of it is used for joint benefit, it’s not deemed a marital asset on divorce.

The fact your DH mentioned it suggests it’s something he might be interested in, though I’m not really sure why. He can sever the joint tenancy unilaterally though - he doesn’t need your permission to change it to tenants in common, though he would of course need to notify you.

I don’t get what it has to do with your mil it’s not her estate it’s dh nans with the inheritance going directly to your dh for him to decide what to do with it

to echo pp the love of money is the root of all evil or certainly is in my family me and my dsis are nc due to her love of helping herself to elderly dm money and dn and her step mum dbil second wife are nc after he died and dn demanded her inheritance then when the wills stated she got it when sm passed away. Sm has probably changed her will now so dn will get nothing thankfully dn has a rich future mil herself who paid off their mortgage and her partner is about to receive a huge inheritance from his grandad

The difference being if DH dies his 50% does not automatically go to his wife (OP). Instead it will be left in DHs will to who he chooses.

Apologies of this has already been said, but it’s not the mortgage that is affected by joint tenants/tenants in common, it’s the actual property itself I.e. the legal title to the house. The mortgage is just the loan agreement with the bank or building society (or any other type of lender).

Has DH’s Nan left the money to your DH in her will, I f so does it say anything about changing the deeds etc?

If it did it wouldn’t be legal. The deeds are for joint property DH and OP already own with a mortgage so nothing to do with the inheritance. Inheritance goes to DH from grandma. MIL has no say on how this is spent. That’s the point MIL is meddling. DH should have shut down the conversation with MIL immediately.

Oh yes good point.

But this is why it's helpful. Its means the DH's share in the property can pass to the DC

Actually I understand what she’s suggesting.
Say you have a house worth £300k with a £200k mortgage. So you have £100k equity. If Dh dies as JT you’d get the whole £100k. If he uses his inheritance to pay off the mortgage then dies you’d get it all as JT, you could remarry and your new DH end up with half the house.
this happened to my DSiS and her DHs new wife now owns half the house paid from my DSiSs life insurance. Her children got nothing.

I think @Soontobe60has hit the nail on the head. It’s sadly very common as people get “love struck “ in a second marriage and lose sight of moral scruples.

It’s even worse if it’s the other way around and it’s W’s inheritance and she then predeceases H, as H could then go on to have more children and on his death, W’s biological children get none of the “family” money.

But again, that is up to the married couple to decide. His mother is getting involved when it’s not her money and not her marriage so is absolutely none of her business. Why do people think it’s okay to plonk themselves in between somebody else’s relationship?

Maybe MIL is aggrieved that it bypassed her.
She cannot dictate, but she’s entitled yo her opinion re family money.

I disagree. She should not voice her opinion unless asked. It is not family money as it has not been left to her.

Exactly. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but if the issue is essentially none of her business there’s no reason for her to voice it.