In laws request change mortgage/postnup.

[ThisGutsy]

My husband is due to receive inheritance, because of this, his mother has requested to change our mortgage from joint tenants to tenants in common, which would include a post nup! We’ve been together for 20 years & married for half of that so to me it seems weird to request this at this point of our marriage? Just wondering what others feelings are on this matter or have advice moving forward. I’m not keen on the idea.

It’s not her money to protect. If the inheritance has gone straight to your husband it has literally nothing to do with her, and he should be telling her that.

Yes unfortunately it has. I’d never think of such thing the other way. I’m hurt and upset.

The full quote is "For the love of money is the root of all evil". I don't say this to be pedantic, but to emphasise that it's people's attitudes to money that causes problems, not the money per se. Your husband and MIL could see this as a generous gift to enhance his family's lives but instead they're trying to find ways to keep your hands off it. He should have thought of that before he entered into a financial contract with you (i.e. marriage).

YANBU, I'd be absolutely gutted too. Could you suggest that it's invested for your children instead?

I don’t understand any of this. If you are going to stay together it changes nothing. You just get the benefit of lower mortgage costs (I assume) and other advantages in the future. If you split you will probably hate him and go for everything you can anyway so why shouldn’t he protect what is essentially family money?

Look at it from the other side. You are married. Your parents leave you (as you are talking normal house prices) £300k. You and your husband equally pay into a mortgage but this would reduce what you both pay each month by say £600 which clearly you can then do what you want with that so clearly you both benefit from this arrangement, including him.

You then say to your partner if we actually break up after 20 years, kids, and a full life (meaning something must have gone catastrophically wrong) let’s just set that money aside considering it’s mums money. His response was then, oh well I may be benefiting now and in the future from this money coming in at this point (through lower mortgage payments, probably not having to work as long, benefiting if the house was sold to release some money for retirement) and I love you so I don’t want to blow up my marriage but I am going to on the principle that your mum, in this situation of a divorce doesn’t want half of it to go to the ex husband …, fuck me, I would divorce you.

How is it 'their money' if it's an inheritance that is due to the OP's husband?

I'm struggling to see how this is any of her business at all?

‘Their’ as in family money. Sorry that’s not obvious.

I'm no legal expert here! However, is your MIL the executor of the Will? Has your husband's Nan, specifically left your husband an amount in her Will? Or is your MIL dividing money up to give to her children from money she's inheriting from the estate? If your husband has been left money specifically in the Will, then I don't think your MIL has the right to add conditions to the inheritance. If the Nan, has added conditions to the money written in her Will, that might be different. If she's inherited money, and is giving your husband money, then yes, she could say 'you have to do xyz before you receive the money'. The fact your husband has spoken to you regarding changing the mortgage and having a prenup, suggests he's not against the idea, and would like to protect 'his' money????!!! Prenups aren't legally binding in the UK, and as you've been married 10 years already, you'd be entitled to assets!

misquote by @ThisGutsy. The love of money is the root of all evil. Money per se is not the root of all evil. The love of money however…….

Were you to divorce right now, you'd be entitled to half that inheritance. He's being a bit daft asking for this.

Hmm I think she’s just thinking about things she’s read in the news these last few years. In law circles known as the Lynda Bellingham effect. Whereby she died and her husband did not respect her wishes.

Usually an issue with ‘blended families’ but I guess she’s just being careful. I wouldn’t bother about it. It won’t affect anything as long as your wills are written correctly.

https://willwritten.com/legacy-advice/lynda-bellinghams-sons-betrayed-as-feared

Tho I have just noticed it wasn’t actually inheritance from the mother but the grandmother (didn’t read the full thread like an idiot) so the mum doesn’t really have say. Tho as I say I can understand the family perspective completely.

The only mention he should have made of it to you is ‘my mother is barking mad, can you believe she wants us to…’ - the fact that he didn’t shut her down either and actually floated it as an idea shows he shares her thoughts somewhat.

I wouldn’t worry about tenants in common (we have this)… it is actually a way you can protect your half of the home for your kids rather than it going to your dh if you die first - it stops him remarrying and leaving every thing to second family/it being spent on care fees etc.

if you divorce it’s irrelevant to the finances either - even if the house was 100% in his name you’d be entitled to the same as if it’s joint.

post nup is different…i might consider it if the inheritance chunk was ring fenced for the kids but otherwise not.

Not correct.

In England inheritances are not automatically part of the marital “pot” to be shared if you divorce. They can become part of the pot in certain circumstances for example if it was used to buy a family home and the house is then an asset, or if there isn’t enough money to meet the needs of kids etc but it absolutely is not always part of the pot and certainly OP just by virtue of marriage would not be entitled to half.

Playing devil's advocate, there does seem to be an awful lot of people on MN who think that inheritance is only for the person who inherited it, even if everything is normally family money. So I guess this is what MIL is trying to suggest by essentially "protecting" the inheritance money.

Your DH needs to tell MiL to back off and wind her neck in. Her own DD refused and so should your DH. If you marriage was shaky it might be different.

What if he died and she remarried? New husband has kids. Etc etc etc

She’s just being careful. It won’t affect OP if they stay alive and happily married

If his nan has died then he already has the inheritance. It is just the process that needs to be completed before the money is passed on to him. But at this stage it is already his money. If he were to die it would be part of his estate.

In the event of divorce, inheritances can be ring fenced ie not included as part of the total assets. This happened to me, though it was quite a small amount and it wasn't tied up in the family home.

Please explain this to me like I am a child because I am baffled here.

You and your husband bought your home together with your own money and both pay the mortgage and owe nothing to your mother in law right?
And now your husbands gran has died leaving him some money but his mother thinks you should change the agreements of your mortgage of how many years for what reason? In case he, rightfully, puts this inheritance towards the mortgage on your family home? Also has she to approve this inheritance or something? I just do not understand what is going on here.

id be more upset that my husband even asked

he should have told her to mind her own business

As always you have a husband problem. He mentioned it as he agrees with her and wants it too. I’d definitely be looking at him in a different light and he clearly doesn’t see your marriage as brilliant. It’s a difficult one .. I wouldn’t be agreeing but it’s definitely eye opening to how he views the solidity of your marriage. It would also give him all the power as he would be significantly better off in tbr event of divorce to you ..

It's an inheritance from his Gran.
Nothing to do with MIL.

How would she even know if he'd changed the mortgage and why does he think she gets a say after 20 years of marriage.

I hope you make it clear to him how offensive it is to you that he even entertained the idea of discussed detailed financial information about you two as a married couple with his DM.

I'd be asking him to make it very clear to her that it was offensive and from now on she doesn't get involved in financial discussions about your married finances and particularly doesn't try to impose conditions when she has no legal right to. And agreeing to this stance himself.

Alternatively, If she's batty, he could just say "Yes Dear," ignore it and do nothing.

Not strictly true. If he puts in a single account, I think it’s protected. If a joint account, then yes, entitled to it as it becomes a matrimonial asset.

https://osborneslaw.com/blog/inheritance-and-divorce/