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Original poster

Anyone else live on this?

331 replies

pinenuts75 · 14/08/2025 16:05

My rent has just increased,I’m single live alone I’ve worked out after I’ve paid rent, bills, and food I’m left with £175 for the month, does anyone else live on this?

OP posts:
Digdongdoo · 18/08/2025 14:03

IFarrt · 18/08/2025 13:41

If he dies (which I goddamn hope he doesn't) we as a family will receive the death in service payment. He's a director at Deloitte.

If we split up (which I really doubt because we've been through hell and back in our relationship and stayed together through even the worst most horrible fights and arguments where I had severe MH issues) the martial assets would be divided fairly. And I do have my own savings and assets here and abroad

I choose to work part time because that's what suits us as a family. If the worst happened. I'd up my hours. We're a family unit and partnership which is why I mentioned the heavy taxes DH pays.

I understand that my previous message may have come across as harsh and yes it is. But OP is managing, having bills paid and meeting the essentials. £175 left over. Had OP been seriously struggling and not making ends meet yes I'd have a different view.

My initial message still holds. Try and get another job to earn some more money. Spent some time up skilling.

Show quote history

That's a shit salary for director level. No offence to your DH...
But either way, you work part time too. Your DHs taxes aren't yours. If your kids are old enough to have a salary, you can't pull the "works best for our family" card. You just like working part time. Own it and don't be a hypocrite.
I also wouldn't be bragging about horrible fights and going to hell and back. That's not aspirational.
Bet your job is a wellness coach or something anyway...

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 18/08/2025 14:06

Digdongdoo · 18/08/2025 14:03

That's a shit salary for director level. No offence to your DH...
But either way, you work part time too. Your DHs taxes aren't yours. If your kids are old enough to have a salary, you can't pull the "works best for our family" card. You just like working part time. Own it and don't be a hypocrite.
I also wouldn't be bragging about horrible fights and going to hell and back. That's not aspirational.
Bet your job is a wellness coach or something anyway...

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Exactly!

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 18/08/2025 14:11

Digdongdoo · 18/08/2025 11:06

£120k in the big 4 is not "very high up", more like mid level....
You're working part time yourself, so not sure why you feel in a position to lecture OP. Your DHs job is not yours. What a hypocrite.

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I was thinking this too, can't be that high up on that salary

IFarrt · 18/08/2025 14:15

Digdongdoo · 18/08/2025 14:03

That's a shit salary for director level. No offence to your DH...
But either way, you work part time too. Your DHs taxes aren't yours. If your kids are old enough to have a salary, you can't pull the "works best for our family" card. You just like working part time. Own it and don't be a hypocrite.
I also wouldn't be bragging about horrible fights and going to hell and back. That's not aspirational.
Bet your job is a wellness coach or something anyway...

Show quote history

Receptionist at my local orthodontist

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 18/08/2025 14:38

IFarrt · 18/08/2025 14:15

Receptionist at my local orthodontist

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equivalent to me then

OP posts:
IFarrt · 18/08/2025 14:58

pinenuts75 · 18/08/2025 14:38

equivalent to me then

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Yes quiet likely

iamnotalemon · 18/08/2025 15:22

IFarrt · 18/08/2025 13:41

If he dies (which I goddamn hope he doesn't) we as a family will receive the death in service payment. He's a director at Deloitte.

If we split up (which I really doubt because we've been through hell and back in our relationship and stayed together through even the worst most horrible fights and arguments where I had severe MH issues) the martial assets would be divided fairly. And I do have my own savings and assets here and abroad

I choose to work part time because that's what suits us as a family. If the worst happened. I'd up my hours. We're a family unit and partnership which is why I mentioned the heavy taxes DH pays.

I understand that my previous message may have come across as harsh and yes it is. But OP is managing, having bills paid and meeting the essentials. £175 left over. Had OP been seriously struggling and not making ends meet yes I'd have a different view.

My initial message still holds. Try and get another job to earn some more money. Spent some time up skilling.

Show quote history

I don’t think you’re in a position to be smug. It sounds like you only have your lifestyle because of your husbands salary.

How about you work full time and stop being patronising to the OP when you’re not funding your own lifestyle. You may need to up skill yourself.

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 18/08/2025 15:28

Kind of funny telling someone on a small income to not claim anything that helps them whilst having a combined income of over £100k and whose wage is basically pocket money.

Londonmummy66 · 18/08/2025 16:12

No way is our flatulent friend's husband a director at Deloitte - I was on more than that before I made partner 20 years ago.

@pinenuts75 - ignore anyone who tells you not to claim UC - it exists to enable everyone to enjoy a certain basic level of lifestyle - your income doesn't permit that which is why you are entitled to claim - please do.

TheWiseAmethyst · 19/08/2025 00:22

iamnotalemon · 18/08/2025 15:22

I don’t think you’re in a position to be smug. It sounds like you only have your lifestyle because of your husbands salary.

How about you work full time and stop being patronising to the OP when you’re not funding your own lifestyle. You may need to up skill yourself.

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Brilliant comment. So many coupled up women, made fortunate mainly by their partner, looking down on and making snippy patronising comments to single women struggling to get by.

XenoBitch · 19/08/2025 00:24

TheWiseAmethyst · 19/08/2025 00:22

Brilliant comment. So many coupled up women, made fortunate mainly by their partner, looking down on and making snippy patronising comments to single women struggling to get by.

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Yes, I have had similar snippy comments from posters saying they are net contributors when they are not at all.. their husbands are.

Rehab4rightmove · 19/08/2025 01:34

Slightly off piste suggestion, OP but have you thought about communal living?

I'm a similar age to you and it is starting to appeal to me.

https://diggersanddreamers.org.uk/noticeboards/places-needing-members

Places needing Members – Diggers and Dreamers

https://diggersanddreamers.org.uk/noticeboards/places-needing-members

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 06:48

iamnotalemon · 18/08/2025 15:22

I don’t think you’re in a position to be smug. It sounds like you only have your lifestyle because of your husbands salary.

How about you work full time and stop being patronising to the OP when you’re not funding your own lifestyle. You may need to up skill yourself.

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I have a master's degree in physics thank you very much

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 19/08/2025 07:31

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 06:48

I have a master's degree in physics thank you very much

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What a waste then.

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 07:42

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 19/08/2025 07:31

What a waste then.

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A waste? I worked in industry after graduating. Then I met my DH, got married and raised our beautiful children. Now they are old enough to (mostly) take care of themselves, I just work part time and bring some extra cash in.

I would also go teach my children maths growing up.

desiderata328 · 19/08/2025 08:01

I hate threads like this. You will inevitably will get people who have got so much more than you telling you what should be willing to go without. Cutting off her £10 Netflix?? Really??

Sorry OP, I live similarly. You are not failing. The problem is clearly and obviously systemic. I have applied for hundreds of jobs. There aren’t any. It’s hunger games out there and I am educated to masters level. The country is fucked. Claim whatever you’re entitled to until you can find a full time job. There is absolutely no shame in it. Sending you strength and solidarity.

Digdongdoo · 19/08/2025 08:04

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 07:42

A waste? I worked in industry after graduating. Then I met my DH, got married and raised our beautiful children. Now they are old enough to (mostly) take care of themselves, I just work part time and bring some extra cash in.

I would also go teach my children maths growing up.

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That sounds like a waste to me. I mean good for you if you're happy, but don't bleat on about your taxes or use part time, lower skilled work as a stick to beat them with. Take a look in the mirror first...

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 19/08/2025 09:49

desiderata328 · 19/08/2025 08:01

I hate threads like this. You will inevitably will get people who have got so much more than you telling you what should be willing to go without. Cutting off her £10 Netflix?? Really??

Sorry OP, I live similarly. You are not failing. The problem is clearly and obviously systemic. I have applied for hundreds of jobs. There aren’t any. It’s hunger games out there and I am educated to masters level. The country is fucked. Claim whatever you’re entitled to until you can find a full time job. There is absolutely no shame in it. Sending you strength and solidarity.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
Ihateboris · 19/08/2025 10:34

desiderata328 · 19/08/2025 08:01

I hate threads like this. You will inevitably will get people who have got so much more than you telling you what should be willing to go without. Cutting off her £10 Netflix?? Really??

Sorry OP, I live similarly. You are not failing. The problem is clearly and obviously systemic. I have applied for hundreds of jobs. There aren’t any. It’s hunger games out there and I am educated to masters level. The country is fucked. Claim whatever you’re entitled to until you can find a full time job. There is absolutely no shame in it. Sending you strength and solidarity.

I agree 👍. I also live similar to you. Why the fuck should we have to get lodgers, cut Netflix or get a third or fourth job. Sometimes I just think: what is the point? Working just to pay off my landlord's mortgage, to sustain the Royal Family and pay the pensioners triple lock?

curiositykilledthiscat · 19/08/2025 10:40

Sometimes I think: people should take self-responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly instead of moaning about the government and not doing anything to improve their situation.

Jamesblonde2 · 19/08/2025 10:57

You need to work full time or get another job.

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 11:14

curiositykilledthiscat · 19/08/2025 10:40

Sometimes I think: people should take self-responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly instead of moaning about the government and not doing anything to improve their situation.

Exactly. This is what I meant. Live within your means. OP is (thankfully) making ends meet and has enough to pay rent, food, bills. She has Netflix (which she's perfectly entitled to have) and has £175 a month spare

At some point you have to take personal responsibility for your life. OP should make plans to get a better paying job, and think about how she's going to achieve that.

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 11:23

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Ihateboris · 19/08/2025 11:27

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No, because everything has increased..rent, fuel,gas, electricity, broadband, council tax, food...but my income hasn't!

IFarrt · 19/08/2025 11:33

Ihateboris · 19/08/2025 11:27

No, because everything has increased..rent, fuel,gas, electricity, broadband, council tax, food...but my income hasn't!

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Then come up with a plan to increase your income. What do you do?

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