How do I get rid of the urge to always spend all of my money?

[Jessie21]

I'm well aware I am going to get a lot of flack on this post. All I can say is please be kind, I am trying to sort this out before it gets serious.

I'm 25. I'm in a low paid job (£18k a year) but about halfway through my training to become a solicitor. When I qualify I'll obviously open a lot of doors. I've got to stick it out until qualification.

I live at home. My parents don't ask for rent, they are well off. They ask for me to do my own food shopping and that's about it. I'm well aware that I'm very fortunate in that regard.

The issue is, I'm obviously wanting to start saving for a house and things like that. My first goal is, realistically, a car. I'd love my own little run around instead of sharing with my mum.

But the issue is, as soon as I get any money into my account, I start spending it. I'll always come up with excuses to buy things and regret it at the end of the month.

My monthly wage is £1300 give or take. I have about £250 in monthly outgoings (phone contract, gym, contact lenses, university fees). After that I could, basically, save £700+ a month. But I just don't.

It'll be an excuse - "oh I need more work clothes" or "I need a new makeup sponge" and I'm sick of it. But I just can't break this habit.

I have all the best intentions and then never get round to actually doing any of it.

I've realised this is an issue because I've just received a pretty decent bonus from work - £750 after tax. And my first thought is "oh, what can I buy?"

I need a revision guide for my exams and some flashcards, and thats it. But I'm sat here thinking about all the cult beauty orders or asos orders I could do.

I'm aware I'm a failure - 25 with very few savings and still living at home, but I really want to break that cycle before I'm earning serious amounts of money. What do I do? Any tips? Any advice?

Anyway. If you reject too many ideas as being imperfect or confusing, you run the risk of doing nothing except spending on stuff you don't need.

Open a Starling or Plum account if you do t like Monzo. Open a Nationwide 18-month bond. Just do anything to push some of that spare money further out of reach, which is what you were originally asking. Good luck.

Because the difference is, the people who are renting the properties they own are a) on very good wages and b) getting rent that is £200-£300 cheaper than the market rent in this area. They chose to rent those properties. I have no choice but to stay at home as rent averages in my town are astronomical, and the house shares are also insane - people would rather rent their homes as holiday homes.

I've opened a stocks and shares ISA with an initial monthly deposit of £25, I'll increase that when I feel less nervous about losing money 🤣 I've also opened a Lloyds 6.25% account

Well done! Even if the stock market crashes, you aren't going to lose as much as you currently spend.

I disagree with your view on the poster who was talking about charging a modest rent, and even then, saving most of that for her daughter. I think you need to examine that more carefully. As you say, adults should pay their way.

Uh. Was going to write a response to this but can't be bothered

Honestly, a great mix of nasty and silly she’s revealed herself to be on this thread. If I didn’t have a pound to my name and lived with my parents in my mid 20s I’d have better manners than to judge how others manage their family finances. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ah well. Some people take a while to grow up.

The 'not paying into your parents savings' is a rather short sighted view.

My mum charged my sister rent. She hated it at the time. But that rent allowed my mum to save and overpay her mortgage. The money saved then allowed her to drop two days at work before retirement meaning she could help my sister out with childcare. This saved her multiple times over the amount she'd have frittered on fast fashion and makeup.

Perhaps if your parents are millionaires the minimum wage does feel like pocket money but don't ask people from the normal world for advice and then slag them off for it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don't have children and don't plan on having them for a long while, nor will I rely on my parents for childcare

Give yourself a kick up the bum .

Followed by a pat on the back

18K disposable income and unable to save is a choice. You are choosing to be dependent and choosing to only consider “investments” rather than paying your way. I suspect you’ll always allow yourself to be paid for and “supported”. It’s a shame, but ultimately there are some people who prefer a comfortable cage.

It might help to think of your savings per pay period (week/month) as a percentage rather than a $ amount. So rather saying I only saved $700 from $1300 this month, think I saved 54% of my pay this month. Sounds amazing said that way!

I had sympathy for you until this comment, now you sound naive and, frankly, quite nasty!

On the one hand your bleating that you super rich parents won't accept rent from you, which would go into their savings if they did, and how this stops you paying your way....

Then on the other hand have the audacity to say this about a PP who is teaching her daughter that life has expenses, by having her pay a nominal rent and saving most of it to give back, and keeping a smaller amount for herself.

I always started out paying my mum "rent" I used to earn a whole £80 a month when I first started working (back when NMW was £2.18 an hour!) And I gave Mum 10%. Later, I worked full time and on my £2.22 an hour I earned £666 a month and gave Mum a third of that as my "rent". This taught me that rent/mortgage are often the biggest outlay and unnegotioable.

Remember, most young people pay on average 40-50% (or more) of income in rent. Right now, you sound like a spoiled brat. You could go rent a room on your salary, you don't want the financial drain. That's fine, whatever. But pay your way in your home, and stop buying Asos nonsense.