How do I get rid of the urge to always spend all of my money?

[Jessie21]

I'm well aware I am going to get a lot of flack on this post. All I can say is please be kind, I am trying to sort this out before it gets serious.

I'm 25. I'm in a low paid job (£18k a year) but about halfway through my training to become a solicitor. When I qualify I'll obviously open a lot of doors. I've got to stick it out until qualification.

I live at home. My parents don't ask for rent, they are well off. They ask for me to do my own food shopping and that's about it. I'm well aware that I'm very fortunate in that regard.

The issue is, I'm obviously wanting to start saving for a house and things like that. My first goal is, realistically, a car. I'd love my own little run around instead of sharing with my mum.

But the issue is, as soon as I get any money into my account, I start spending it. I'll always come up with excuses to buy things and regret it at the end of the month.

My monthly wage is £1300 give or take. I have about £250 in monthly outgoings (phone contract, gym, contact lenses, university fees). After that I could, basically, save £700+ a month. But I just don't.

It'll be an excuse - "oh I need more work clothes" or "I need a new makeup sponge" and I'm sick of it. But I just can't break this habit.

I have all the best intentions and then never get round to actually doing any of it.

I've realised this is an issue because I've just received a pretty decent bonus from work - £750 after tax. And my first thought is "oh, what can I buy?"

I need a revision guide for my exams and some flashcards, and thats it. But I'm sat here thinking about all the cult beauty orders or asos orders I could do.

I'm aware I'm a failure - 25 with very few savings and still living at home, but I really want to break that cycle before I'm earning serious amounts of money. What do I do? Any tips? Any advice?

Okay, I think you've got an issue with me.

As I've said multiple times on this thread - I'm owning up to my mistakes and I have absolutely 0 financial knowledge. I do not understand pensions. I don't understand stocks and shares and investing into them. I have never been taught this.

I'm asking for advice, and instead being criticised for not knowing. I've not been pointed to many sources other than one or two. If you don't have anything helpful to say, don't say it.

Happyher has said in 3 lines exactly what you need to do. Why are you arguing and biting back at everyone? You are in a position right now where it is SO easy to save and you are simply choosing not to.

You say you don’t understand any of it. What secret do you think the rest of us are keeping here?? We save on payday. Some months I could only save £40. These days I save £600-£800. I have pots for house deposit, car, short term savings, rainy day, holiday. Sometimes the pots only have £50 in and that feels shit. Sometimes my current account has £20 and that feels shit. It doesn’t mean you don’t still do it.

EDIT: stop going on about pensions and stocks. You don’t need to know! restart your pension and pay towards it every month. For your retirement. That’s all you need to know. You don’t need to know a thing about stocks - you need cash savings to save for a car and other medium term expenses. Stocks are irrelevant to you as a person with nothing.

Would you be open to helpful suggestions? Nobody knows this stuff automatically. Everyone has to learn it.

And if I'm trying to parent you, apologies.

My kids bracket you in age. I'm passing on advice I'd give them. Save into your pension; save into an instant access account; save into a LISA. Enjoy the rest while you're young and carefree!

You don't need to 'know' anything to just stick £500 in a savings account each month. If you're training to be a solicitor it's a bit worrying that you can't research how to save money. You've been given lots of great advice on this thread - it's up to you what you do with it.

Incidentally, re the "£90 is next to nothing": it's not nothing. I dribbled a bit of money into DC's pensions (tens rather than hundreds per month) during their university years. DD has just told me hers reached over £8000 in that time.

I just don't understand how this is happening though - across both my pensions (previous job and this one) I've put in approximately £150-£200 a month, and the values of the pensions match that exactly. Neither of them seem to be growing at all

My DP is like this and he's 61. He's actually got slightly better, I think, recently, but then I've believed this before and then found out it's not the case. I've made some mistakes as well and we got into a real financial mess over 2 or 3 years which I've just about got on top of now.

Are all your regular bills/direct debits - including phone, professional subscriptions, credit card bills, travel cards - set up to sort out on or as soon after pay day as possible? Then it doesn't matter if you don't have very much left in your current account

With that £700 - put £500 a month into an account which is not too accessible - you could open one with a limited access per year instead of emergencies. Maybe one that isn't too easy an access method, for example a postal building society account without a local branch. Those are your longer term savings, and you need to leave them alone. If you think it would help incentivise you to see it build up sooner, or to let yourself have interest back to spend while leaving the main sum (money paid in) well alone, then you could look at monthly interest. Or you could put in fixed term savings locked away but perhaps just for one year, and then at the end of the term decide whether you can maintain discipline with a different level of access or go for another fixed term account.

Then put £200 of your £700 into an instant access savings account which is available to spend, but don't dip into it while there is money available in your current account. Are the instant access savings accounts you have now linked to current accounts?

Here you go, OP, here's some pension info to help get your head round them: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/discount-pensions/

My personal advice would be that it's always good to be in the habit of paying into your pension (unless it's literally a choice between that and absolute basics like food or shelter) just to instil that habit. If you come to view a pension as something you don't really have to bother with, it becomes much harder to start 'giving up' that money later on. If you've just always paid it as a basic necessity, you don't miss having that cash.

@Jessie21 pension contributions made young have longer to grow. I started mine with what seemed a tiny amount (was paying £25 a month while earning £20k as had debts at the time) but it really added up significantly. Plus, nowadays many pension contributions are made as salary sacrifice so are deducted BEFORE you pay tax.

I advise you to not take any notice of one Internet post that is total bollocks.

At least get some decent advice from a quality source like the Meaningful Money link I posted earlier.

To advise a 25 YO with plenty of disposable income and good career prospects that it's not worth paying into a pension is stupid and irresponsible.

All pension contributions are paid out of pre-tax income. Salary sacrifice has the advantage of saving National Insurance as well.

OP if you can manage the SQE you can manage research on investment and pension basics. At 25 arguing you’ve not been taught is fine, I wasn’t, but its not an excuse for remaining unknowledgeable.

There are many quality resources out there such as money helper.org.uk or Money Saving Expert.

But no amount of research will help if you splurge all your cash and aren’t saving anything in any format.

@NowYouSee it just confuses me. I'm surely allowed to be confused?

I don’t understand how else you think you’re going to start saving. Maybe don’t be so ambitious. Just start off saving £200 per month. Calculate how much you’ve got left each month and divide it by the number of weeks to next payday. Then just stick to that amount. As you learn the discipline of sticking to a budget increase the amount you save. Once you see your pot starting to grow you’ll be more incentivised to save more

Become interested in finance. Buy yourself a money magazine or sign up to Martin Lewis newsletter.

Keep a comfortable amount of fun money, then thoughtfully 'spend' into your savings accounts. Some high interest accounts will only allow you to deposit a certain amount. Aim to reach that amount. Goal!
Money is interesting when you get into it. Open and close accounts to get the most interest. Becoming financial savvy, even for a relatively small amount is empowering.

It’s fine to find things confusing at first blush but again if you’re bright enough to manage to pass the SQE you’re perfectly bright enough to work through your confusion by using well written respectable sources to build your knowledge if it is something you actually want to understand. Or don’t. It’s your financial future not mine.

Spending is a habit, so is saving, start small and increase gradually the amount of money you put aside. When I was saving for a flat, I stopped buying lunches at work for example, at first it was difficult but 7-8 years later I still don’t buy lunches, just don’t feel the need anymore really.

OP, I feel for you.
I was never taught about money, and struggled financially until I was in my 30's. I am discalculate. I still transpose numbers, but I have the theory sorted.
Being an adult is often about doing things you don't want to do, and understanding finance is not optional.
Break it down into small chunks and ask for advice.
Having a financial cushion, however small is a comfort.
Would setting savings goals help you?

I don't think you are unusual , many young adults are still living with parents and so not taking in adult responsibilities. I'm going to suggest something a bit counter intuitive, to get a car loan or finance to buy a car and begin living a more independent life. You will get used to valuing your money and needing to budget for this outgoing, managing the insurance , servicing etc. Also gets you on the road without sharing with your mum. Hopefully it'll shift your mindset and stop you spending like pocket money.

Find the urge to save it...........and problem solved.

Thanks everyone.

I think part of the issue is it's quite hard to shift from that pocket money mindset - during the pandemic I would work 60+ hours a week (different job) and be bringing home insane amounts of money. I then had nothing, so was able to buy whatever I wanted. That's quite a hard mindset to shift but I'll work at it

I have to agree

I managed to only spend £2 today (bus fare) so progress is being made

I would move £500 into savings when you get paid. In a year that is £6000 saved plus any extra or bonus. It sounds like you need to work on your impulse control. I don't think it is the low pay as you have low outgoings. Imagine if you had to pay rent or bills or even run a car. You would not be able to splurge a few hundred on non necessities. Restrict the number of shopping trips or stop doing online shopping. Allow yourself one necessary thing a month until you have established a savings habit.