Inheritance question

[Hewlettthedogsout12]

Please can I get some advice. There are 4 grandchildren...two closer to grandparent. Two not as close. Grandparent has sadly passed away and left a large amount of money to each grandchild but split in the following percentages...33%, 33% (both to closer grandchildren), 16%, 16% to other two. Each will receive a large amount of money as there is a lot involved. I am one of the 33% beneficiaries involved. Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each. What would you do? There is around £800k involved so will make a big difference whatever is decided. Thanks

Exactly!

I have no children and no nieces / nephews. I do have cousins whose young adult (most around age 30) children were listed in my will as beneficiaries of my house, my family property in the lakes and whatever cash is left. If I were to croak unexpectedly soon, it would be a substantial windfall for the five of them.

But my efforts to reach out in recent years have been basically ignored. I haven't been invited to the weddings of the two who married, and my gifts were acknowledged with postcards not even personalized to "Dear Cousin Zelda." At the few family gatherings to which I am invited (Boxing Day, Easter) they huddle and aside from perfunctory greetings, have zero interest in me.

Last winter I changed my will; should I die soon, there will be substantial gifts for friends old and new, and then the bulk of my assets going to elephant rescue charities in India and Africa. Let the "kids" reap what they have sown.

If someone were to arbitrarily change that, thinking they knew better than I how my remaining assets should be divided, it would be infuriating.

What do both sets of parents think? It was their dad who's done this – do they think you should do a deed of variation and make it an even 25% split?

compromise.
you richer two take 30% each.
and the other two have 20% each.

Sorry yes a third, a third, a sixth, a sixth. Just couldn't be bothered with all the decimal places.

This affects your kids too not just you- it's money that will eventually benefit them. I wouldn't vary the will, it adds awkwardness and the other party might not be as keen to do it as you. Stick to what your gparent wished.

Don't give them your money. They are not children - in which case it might not be "fair". The cousins are adults who didn't call every week, see how she / he was, visit at Christmas, help out. They are adults who were more concerned with their own lives than their grandparents. Your GP wanted to recognise that - and that's OK. (Aside from all the legal costs and hassle involved in changing this)

It wasnt a nice thing for a grandparent to do and theyve left you all with the fall out.
I wonder how your parents and their sibling feels about it?
Its hard not to equate money with love and how a GC relationship develops with a GP is more down to the adults than the child- so did your parents make more of an effort/ Were they closer to their parents?
You and your sibling probably need a joint approach either agree to split equally / 25% each or keep the will as it is but theres no glossing over the fact you have been given a greater share of grandparents estate and been treated more favourably - the consequences are quite likely lead to a rift in the family and resentment.
Im not sure what id do tbh! Its clearly very tempting to keep the money, and you are within your rights to do so. I guess it depends on how close you are to your cousins and whether you want a relationship with them going forward. If they are in their 20s no doubt they would would also find the money helpful for a house purchase!
There is a morally right thing to do- but your GP choose not to- so now the choice is yours ..

The cousins are adults who didn't call every week, see how she / he was, visit at Christmas, help out. They are adults who were more concerned with their own lives than their grandparents.

How have you deduced all that from what the Op said? She didn’t mention Christmas, or that the cousins were more concerned with their own lives? They are much younger which may have had an impact on the relationship as the grandparent got older. Not their fault!

My DC were beneficiaries of my bachelor cousin’s will - he left his substantial estate to his cousins children - except he missed one out. No one knows why, and the cousin whose son was missed out, actually was closer to the deceased than all the other cousins (bar maybe 1). She had him to dinner, met him for meals, whereas I, living further away, hadn’t seen him for probably 15yrs before he died except for his mums funeral.

She has tried to understand why her son was missed out, but can’t work out why. She still thinks it is her fault and she inadvertently did something to upset the deceased. The other possibility is that her son was already established in a well paid professional career, and the deceased felt he didn’t need the money. Still hurtful for his mum though!

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune I totally get why you did that and would do exactly the same, I don't have kids and will leave mine to charity as closest relative will be provided for.

I think the days of assuming children/grandkids etc should automatically inherit are beginning to be viewed differently which is a good thing.

How does the tax work if you do the deed of variation?

The two who are due to get 16% will resent the other two, whether you redistribute it or not. Either they'll resent you for getting more, or because the grandparents obviously favoured you rather than them. Maybe they should have made more effort while the dgp's were alive.

Each party pays the tax on the money they actually receive once the deed if variation has been registered.

The deceased made a will for a reason and it should be both respected and adhered to.

What a crock of shite, so much projecting there!! What the hell is the point of any will if some bitter family members demand it be changed after you are dead? It may be divisive, it may not be but that is the last wish of the deceased and should be carried out this way.

When my grandmother died, she had two children, my mum and aunt. I'm an only child and my aunt has two children.

Her money went equally to both her children, and her "precious " belongings like jewellery should've done the same.

However, this isn't the will she wanted to write.

She wanted the majority to go to my mum and me, but the truth is she was too scared to write that in a will. Whilst my mum and I were her main carers (and she needed significant care) my aunt barely visited, did nothing but whinge and criticise, and my cousins refused to even visit her once she needed more than the most basic care. They did the same when my grandfather was very poorly for years prior to his death too. Had they died the opposite way round, I'm sure the will would've been changed in our favour because whilst my grandmother got more and more fearful, my grandfather did the opposite.

There may well be a good reason why this will has been split this way, and I think it should be honoured. The other grandchildren had the chance to support and build relationships prior to your grandparents death- it's not your fault they chose not to do that.

Agree with you, @primoseyellow

I'd rather the fruits of my lifelong labour save an elephant than buy a new car or remodel a kitchen for a relative who probably wouldn't recognize me if he saw me walking through his front garden.

It's a solemn duty to respect the last will and testament of the deceased. Do not seek to defy your grandparents' wishes, OP.

Arseholes die too. Just because someone has died doesn't mean that they were magically wise, kind, or fair.

Legally, of course, the will must be followed, but the beneficiaries can decide to do what they want with their own money, either through a deed of variation of re-distributing afterwards.

If anyone tries to get clever with my will after I’ve died I’m going to haunt them so much that they’ll wish they’d never been born

ill make scary movies look like child’s play as a ghost I’m gonna be a real miserable awkward one

@MagicBullet @Webbing That is not how IHT works. The estate pays IHT then the net estate is distributed as per the will.

@Hewlettthedogsout12 what surprises me is no one knows why the grandparents will splits the money in that way.

Has anyone asked the person who drew up the will if contemporaneous notes were taken at the time that explain the rationale? That would be my first step as based on what you have said it isn’t like there has been a falling out or lack of providing care.

I can see both sides of the argument and I know from personal experience wills can bring out the best in people and the worst. You are not being unreasonable to follow the will, but equally your cousins are not being unreasonable to feel they were less loved because they receive less under the will.

Yes, money is what is being discussed, but stop and think about the emotions involved, whilst people are grieving. From what you have said the unequal distribution came as a surprise to you all. No matter what you decide to do your cousins will have unanswered questions for the rest of their lives - why? What did we do/not do? Why was I not loved the same as my cousins etc.

Lots of talk in this thread about what the grandparents would have wanted. They’re dead, they’ll never know.

It’s for OP to decide if the money is worth what the expected family disruption will be. Very hard to form a judgment on that as an outsider.

The grandparents left a written, signed and dated legal document stating exactly what they wanted.

I think you should stick to the Will, it was drawn up that way for a reason.

I was massively closer to my grandmothers than any of my cousins. Even when I didn't live nearby I rang regularly, sent postcards etc.

I helped to look after my DGM (mum's mum), it was part of my decision to become a SAHM. Three others lived in the UK couldn't be bothered unless they thought money was on offer.

I got much more in her Will but nobody said a word.

Your grandparent had their reasons, did they leave a letter with the will explaining their reasons?

Perhaps they gave / lent their child (your parent's sibling) money in the past that wasn't paid back so willed those grandchildren less? Who knows?

Shame about the disparity but It's not down to you to sort it out. The grandchildrens parent can make it up to them.

Why did the grandmother disinherit one of her own children completely and how do her children all feel about the will?

I wouldn't want to be part of some 'golden child black sheep' dynamic, so if this was all about making your Aunt feel bad, maybe you should all give your money back to the three siblings and let them distribute it as they wish