Inheritance question

[Hewlettthedogsout12]

Please can I get some advice. There are 4 grandchildren...two closer to grandparent. Two not as close. Grandparent has sadly passed away and left a large amount of money to each grandchild but split in the following percentages...33%, 33% (both to closer grandchildren), 16%, 16% to other two. Each will receive a large amount of money as there is a lot involved. I am one of the 33% beneficiaries involved. Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each. What would you do? There is around £800k involved so will make a big difference whatever is decided. Thanks

Well the issue here is that the people involved are at the same time judge and party.

Many posters incl the OP have highlighted potential reasons as the why 2 people weren’t as involved as the others.
But no one from this thread can actually judge where the deceased was morally wrong to write the will in this way.

And tbh, even if the deceased is morally wrong to do the split like that, it was also their choice…. Otherwise, why bothering to have a will at all??

But we're the two grandkids who didn't bother with the GF and left it up to the other two being fair?

But being fair doesn't always mean that everything is divided equally. My oldest keeps saying that he might move abroad,( he might be able to secure a v good job by doing this) in that case my youngest who has significant learning disabilities and other issues would be left more. That is fair, to me.

Well it’s what the person wanted isn’t it?

I think they are rude for asking

Do you have a close relationship with them?

If you don’t then I suspect I would keep the 33% as per grannies wishes. It’s her/him who they should direct their anger at - although imo they should just appreciate what they were given

Don’t do an informal transfer. The sum of money you pass onto them will fall into your estate and if you die within 7 years (ok might be unlikely but could happen sadly) it could form part of an IHT bill your beneficiaries have to pay on your estate - and that’s unlikely to impact your cousins or their dependants - your descendants will have to cover the bill for your tax not them.

do a deed a variation if you’re going to do it. That way it passes direct from grandads estate to theirs and never comes into yours. That’s what it’s there for as a process to manage IHT properly

all the people saying,this was your grandads intent and don’t alter it. My view is some people are selfish or antcoeast lacking empathy and only think about how positive it makes them feel being generous to certain people. They don’t look beyond to 5+ years after they’ve died where an uneven will has caused ramifications, relationships to break down- yep, a great legacy to drive wedges through your family for years after you’ve died. Yes, MNs in general believe people should be grateful for anything they get, but completely ignore that unfairness is a very difficult thing to process and causes massive ramifications. It often doesn’t matter how much a legacy is , it’s the unfairness that will upset people, and drive wedges between relationships of the living . I just don’t understand why people do this - what sort of legacy do they want ? For me it is about ensuring my family remain close, supportive of each other, and able to enjoy each others company .
unless theres a bloody good reason to favour one person, such as a continued dependency they had that they still need (ie disability), then I don’t think much of people who do this. Oddly enough it’s often men - and it’s often to do with power

To me it depends on if you want a future relationship with your cousins and their parents. If you don't then leave it as it is. If you do then split.

I think it's really unfair of you GP to do this. It isn't the younger GC fault that they were born a decade later and therefore had a decade less of time to build a relationship with their gp. In the absence of any horrible backstory I think you should share it equally.

Just to throw a spanner in the works what if the gp left you and your sibling the 33% each because they had already given some money previously to your cousins or their parents that you don't know about and this is GP's way of making things fair now?

Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each

Of course they do 🙄. I think it depends how close you are with your cousins. Do you want to have an ongoing relationship with them and how much is that worth to you? I love my cousins but I don’t think I’d give them 100 grand or whatever it’s going to be, especially if they didn’t make as much effort with their grandparents as I did. And if they wanted to fall out over it, I think I’d let them go. Because realistically, if the shoe was on the other foot, do you honestly think they’d be giving you that kind of money?

Jeez, this old chestnut again:
Just because your eldest is more independent now doesn’t mean it will always be like that.
you do know shit can happen- he could , through any number of means, become more severely limited health wise than your youngest. Maybe after you’ve died in his middle age . Or he could find he is made redundant, can’t find work , racks up bills and debt etc etc
or he could develop mental health problems meaning he can’t work at all or part time only . This happened to my ex. Couldn’t work for last 15 years of our 30 year marriage. He was professional, Phd etc . It can happen to anyone

you are playing god and Canute all in one if you think you can predict your children’s individual futures.

yes, if you have an adult child who is dependant on you for medical reasons, then sure provision needs to be made to continue that dependency - through trusts etc. but any balance should be equal. That is fair. Making assumptions and then decisions on what your respective sons lives will be is not fair .

What are the general family dynamics like OP ? Are you close to your cousins?

Ultimately, you should do what is best for your ( near) family , and what is best for your conscience. If you would feel happier sharing the extra 8% you were willed, then you can distributed that between the cousins. Similarly, your sibling can make their own decision. Neither decision is wrong.

The will is your grandparent's wishes. I'd stick to it.

I wouldn't but I haven't seen my cousins in over a decade. Also consider that you agreeing to share will put extra pressure on your sibling who does not want to share. I think changing the grandparent decision carries a lot of risk for the sibling relationship which is much more important than cousins. Stick with what grandparent wanted.

Good point.

Did this start as children? Was it enabled by their parent and the younger ones not enabled by their parent
was the grandfather older and more difficult to get to know when the younger 2 were growing up…people getting older can get less flexible, more set in their opinions, and god forbid a tadge more selfish, less patient with smaller children.
to put it bluntly, off course older GC who are 10 years older, are likely to have a closer relationship with their gf based on just number of years they’ve known each other as adults

was this really down to the younger 2 cousins having free will to have a less involved relationship or just down to the adults in their lives and their relationships with each other and the younger children

Your cousins are cheeky fuckers who've basically just asked you for a gift of £70k. There's no moral entitlement to anyone else's money, whether that's as beneficiary of a will or otherwise.

If you say no it probably will sour relations but there you go- see my first sentence.

What would have happened if a portion had been left to charity - do you think the charity would give up its bequest because some of the other beneficiaries felt it was unfair?
Or what if the estate had been diminished by care costs ? There may have been nothing left, after all 16% of a large sum is better than 25% of nothing.
It was the GP’s money and they made the decision as to what they wanted to happen to it after their death. Fair or unfair it was their decision. If they had wanted the other cousins to have an equal share they would have made a new will with those bequests laid out in it but they didnt.

Is the set up - Grandparent, who had 3 kids. Therefore - Child A, one grandchild 33%. Child B, one grandchild 33%. Child C, two grandchildren 16%

If it’s divided equally between the three families, albeit skipping a generation, I think it’s perfectly fair, and probably how I’d do it.

My friend had this.

Her and her brother inherited the vast majority of their aunt's estate (she had no children).

Her cousins and 2 of her other cousins barely got anything.

Everyone was pissed off but ultimately they were the ones who had made the effort with her so they got the money.

They don't really speak to anyone else anymore but actually don't really care.

Grandparent is different and it was unfair of him. But ultimately not your responsibility.

Are you close to your cousins?

Stick to the will. It’s what your GP wanted. She had her reasons I’m sure.

^ this

The OP needs to clarify whether it's an equal 1/3rd to each of three family lines, of which two had single offspring and one had two. In which case all that's happening is that it's skipping the immediately succeeding generation and being split correctly and equitably to the following generation.

Where did the "closer to.." start - was this in the will or an invented explanation that's been inferred to create a problem that isn't there?

who is the executor ? how did the cousins find out about the will? why do the cousins feel that you should give them a share of your inheritance?

the cousins also may well have other grandparents and their own parents, they will possibly have other inheritances

years ago my great grandmother left 3 of her grandchildren money, but left 2 or 3 out - including my mum. The reason was she thought they needed the money more and this was probably the case. Mums attitude was that was fine, it was her wishes.

@user1469908585 and @DogInATent , the OP said the two 33% grandchildren were siblings

Absolutely lousy thing to do from the GP. Really unfair. Surely they realised how it would make the other siblings feel. But at the end of the day the will is the will and their wishes are laid out in black and white no matter how unfair they are.

It's a difficult situation to square; and I would definitely talk to your parents about their take on it (also consider how much, if anything, has been left to them and their siblings that will potentially be passed along to you all in the future).

When my granny died, there were equal bequests to my sister and I (uni students) and one of our cousins (late 20s with at least one child). (long back story why his siblings weren't in the picture, less relevant here). Another cousin was a baby, and our granny had sufficient dementia by then that she never really sorted out the distinction between the great-grandchild she had and this new grandchild. Our parents agreed a deed of variation to give our newest cousin the same amount we received. If the amounts concerned had been much much larger I'm not sure how the negotiations would have gone, and consideration of what our parents were receiving would have come into it I think.