Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Inheritance question

223 replies

Hewlettthedogsout12 · 26/06/2023 14:17

Please can I get some advice. There are 4 grandchildren...two closer to grandparent. Two not as close. Grandparent has sadly passed away and left a large amount of money to each grandchild but split in the following percentages...33%, 33% (both to closer grandchildren), 16%, 16% to other two. Each will receive a large amount of money as there is a lot involved. I am one of the 33% beneficiaries involved. Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each. What would you do? There is around £800k involved so will make a big difference whatever is decided. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Hewlettthedogsout12 · 26/06/2023 15:41

Executor is a solicitor who has informed us of the divide.
There are three children...two of whom both have two children (the grandchildren). One has no children. The three children have been left a property so will also benefit.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 26/06/2023 15:41

If it's written in a legally competent Will, then the executor should distributes the bequests as stated. Those are Grans wishes.
What individual beneficiaries then do with their windfall is entirely up to them.

Pointynoseowner · 26/06/2023 15:44

I'm a grandma and I feel very strongly you should follow the will. It was her choice to make not yours . Your cousins are very lucky to have such a large sum,as are you. I get very upset when I read about people contesting wills, they are a deed of someone's last wishes . Honour them .

Quitelikeit · 26/06/2023 15:45

Pointynoseowner · 26/06/2023 15:44

I'm a grandma and I feel very strongly you should follow the will. It was her choice to make not yours . Your cousins are very lucky to have such a large sum,as are you. I get very upset when I read about people contesting wills, they are a deed of someone's last wishes . Honour them .

Hear hear!!!!

ChateauMargaux · 26/06/2023 15:46

Do you have children... is one of then nicer than the other.. can you see a situation in the future that due to circumstances, you might be less close to one child than the other with a consequential impact on your relationship with their children .. would you think it fair to give one set of grandchildren more because you have a greater opportunity to build a better relationship with them or because you are more naturally drawn to their individual personalities?

The mortgage situation is not nice but without this... you would have to find a way... the 20 year olds would probably also benefit from the increased amounts.. .. are you really more deserving... objectively...

GnomeDePlume · 26/06/2023 15:49

How long ago was the will written? Wills reflect the situation at the time the will was written. If the will was written when the 'lesser' GCs were much younger the GP may have thought the smaller share was fairer.

Someone I knew wrote a will at the time when he was very angry with his ex wife. One of the terms of his will effectively disinherited one of his children.

Some years later he died having come to better terms with his ex wife but not having updated his will. As each part of the estate was settled the inheriting child split the money 50/50 with their sibling.

The inheriting child decided that the relationship with their sibling was more important than honouring the terms of the will.

LoisPrice · 26/06/2023 15:51

The three children have been left a property so will also benefit

Then the parents of the two cousins can dive up their share to make up the difference if they see fit to do so, from their share of the inheritance

LaBefana · 26/06/2023 15:53

Whitakers · 26/06/2023 15:23

Your cousins are cheeky fuckers who've basically just asked you for a gift of £70k. There's no moral entitlement to anyone else's money, whether that's as beneficiary of a will or otherwise.

If you say no it probably will sour relations but there you go- see my first sentence.

Yes. 16% of £800K is £128,000. That's more than many people's life savings. A nice little payday for anyone especially out of the blue like that. Funeral bells are soon replaced by the bells of cash registers, aren't they? The executor must divide the money up according to the will. The larger beneficiaries may or may not choose to make gifts to the smaller ones. My DH has very recently been in exactly this situation. Three siblings received equal shares and one of them, who has 2 kids, felt it should have gone 5 ways and lobbied the others to make shares to effect that. It was all agreed and then that sibling decided to fall out with one of their kids and also backtracked saying they had never agreed (they had) so the end result was it went 4 ways in effect. A deed of variation, if done by a lawyer could cost in the high hundreds or low thousands, and in any case every single named beneficiary must agree. My advice is pay out the will and let people do what they want.

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 26/06/2023 15:54

Pointynoseowner · 26/06/2023 15:44

I'm a grandma and I feel very strongly you should follow the will. It was her choice to make not yours . Your cousins are very lucky to have such a large sum,as are you. I get very upset when I read about people contesting wills, they are a deed of someone's last wishes . Honour them .

I couldn't agree more. I find contesting wills to be really disrespectful. What's the point of saying what your wishes are if someone can just ignore them? 'I'd like to be cremated' 'no we don't like that you'll be buried instead'. These are a persons last wishes and should be fully respected, to not is disgraceful.

LoisPrice · 26/06/2023 15:55

One has no children

who's to say in the future this uncle/aunt doesn't leave an inheritance to your cousins, and leave you out - for all we know. Should these cousins, to make things "fair" and share with you both.

Thats the crux with wills, you can leave what you want to who you want

CaptainHammer · 26/06/2023 15:57

Leave it as your grandma wanted

Magdachristie · 26/06/2023 15:57

I would probably split 25%, unless the other gc parents had been given some financial help previously, (house deposit etc) it may be that the grandparents were rebalancing money because they felt that other child had had some inheritance early which had benefitted gc.

nameschangg · 26/06/2023 15:59

How did grandma avoid it?

Pemba · 26/06/2023 15:59

I knew a woman who had one brother. The woman had two children, her parents' only grandchildren. Her brother was single and childless. The woman and her brother both lived near their parents and saw them regularly. There was no falling out.

When the parents died it turned out they had left everything to their son, nothing to their daughter and grandchildren. This was because apparently it was the duty of their daughter's husband to provide for her.This was a white British family, about 20 years ago.

I think this was awful, and if her brother was a decent person he would have remedied the situation. As far as I know he never did. I suppose a lot of you on here would think this is right though, as he was 'being respectful to his parents' wishes'?

Another woman I know, her father died and left everything to her stepmother (her mother had died many years ago). His two daughters were disinherited, the stepmother subsequently died (she had no children) and left everything to her own nieces and nephews. Again, this is fine I suppose, as it is 'honouring' the father's wishes?

Sometimes people just don't do the right thing with their wills. Sometimes it might be because they just didn't think it through. It should then be up to the beneficiaries to do the right thing.

nameschangg · 26/06/2023 15:59

Iht? I would split equally but I like my cousins

LaBefana · 26/06/2023 16:00

I personally have planned my life assuming I would get exactly nothing in inheritance from anyone, and so has DH. We have had a couple of nice surprises but nothing to change our lives or get us on the bloody 'housing ladder' (I wish someone would chop it up and burn the pieces).

ChateauMargaux · 26/06/2023 16:00

Disclosure: my parents favour my brother and his children, they have a better relationship with their grandparents than my children do. In my opinion, mine are not less deserving of an equal inheritance but the reality is that they get given more, even while my parents are still alive. My children, on the other hand are older than their cousins on their father's side, they got money when they started university. It is highly likely that their grandparents will be dead before the youngest cousins go to university but knowing my parents in law, they will have equalised that in their wills....

Newname47 · 26/06/2023 16:02

I think it would depend on whether you think you were closer due to age or effort. To be effectively the less important grandchild all your life and have that backed up in the will would be incredibly hurtful. To spend your life ignoring someone then expect equal to the people who prioritised them would be grabby.

Rainrainstayawaytilseptember · 26/06/2023 16:02

So if dgm had left the lot to a dcats home was that unfair also? Unfair she decided what happened to her own money?

LadyOfTheCanyon · 26/06/2023 16:03

Well it seems that the cousins are a generation younger than you so will still benefit further down the line from future inheritances - including potentially what you might leave them?

I'm in favour of sticking to the wishes outlined in the will -I am in the process of thinking about mine and would be sorely pissed off if I thought people were divvying it up differently after I've gone ( although I appreciate I can't do anything about it)

Neither I or my husband have children so whatever we have at the end of our lives will go to what family is left - but within that I sure as hell prefer some of them to others and my will will reflect that.

Whendoesmydietstart · 26/06/2023 16:03

I quite like the fact that your gp has acknowledged everyone in their will, but accounted for the fact that 2 made the most effort. There is the saying "last at the bedside is first to the will reading", which will certainly be true in some families.

MIBnightmare · 26/06/2023 16:04

Are the 16% GC due to inherit from the other side of their family whereas you don't ? Is that a possible explanation?

L0bstersLass · 26/06/2023 16:05

Hewlettthedogsout12 · 26/06/2023 14:47

The other 33% person thinks we should keep it as we were closer and it was their wish.

I agree with them. Take the 33%.
There's a reason she wrote it like that.
They are her clearly stated wishes.
Do not go against them.

SilverOrchid · 26/06/2023 16:05

I think it’s disrespectful to go against the will, unless there is an obvious mistake/omission (eg one grandchild born after the will was drawn up, or one grandchild won the lottery so will no longer see any benefit of getting their share).

Your grandparents worked for that money (I assume) and who are you/your cousins to dictate how they should spend it.

FarTooHotForMe · 26/06/2023 16:06

I would follow the grandparents wishes and I’d also feel incredibly fortunate to get 16% from a grandparent.