Inheritance question

[Hewlettthedogsout12]

Please can I get some advice. There are 4 grandchildren...two closer to grandparent. Two not as close. Grandparent has sadly passed away and left a large amount of money to each grandchild but split in the following percentages...33%, 33% (both to closer grandchildren), 16%, 16% to other two. Each will receive a large amount of money as there is a lot involved. I am one of the 33% beneficiaries involved. Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each. What would you do? There is around £800k involved so will make a big difference whatever is decided. Thanks

When you talk about two being closer, do you mean just geographically, or emotionally, too? Did all four give similar levels of emotional support? Did all four keep in regular contact? That would make a big difference to me, if two of them just happened to live further away due to decisions made by their parents, but they actually kept up a really close relationship with their grandparents.

If they didn't give their grandparents a second thought, then I'd keep the money.

A will is the deceased persons wishes. They may well be unhappy but it's not their money, is it? I'm sorry but I wouldn't be challenging this. It sounds like a very nice sum for them already. I find them expressing their unhappiness over the amount distasteful.

What does the other 33% person think?

@OhComeOnFFS no I mean closer emotionally. But then playing devils advocate possibly some of that is down to age and being maturer (older two benefiting more are in 30's, younger two in 20's).

The other 33% person thinks we should keep it as we were closer and it was their wish.

And that's the problem isn't it? If you decide to give your share to the ones getting 16% then the other getting 33% is the bad guy. Sorry but I think you should stick to the will.

Of course the other two grandkids will be unhappy to receive less. However it's what your grandfather wanted. I was close to both my grandparents, age had nothing to do with it it was the example set by my parents.

I think the gp's wishes should be honoured. The other two will be getting an unexpected inheritance of over £133,000 - hardly anything to complain about.

So all four of you live near your gp but two of you didn't have much to do with them?

Wanted to add I work with a woman who's great uncle recently passed away and he left £100k to her sister and only £50k to her. She's happy with that as her sister was much closer emotionally to the great uncle and helped him out with shopping and meals etc.

How tricky! It is awful when something like this happens and you’re stuck in the middle. I think if you are close to your cousins and see them a lot or if they are in particular financial need, then for the sake of fairness and good relations I would do 25% each but if you’re not that close then I’d keep the split as per the Will. I have sort of been on the receiving end of similar recently (although the Will was invalid) and it was really hurtful and felt very unfair and upsetting so I do have sympathy with your cousins.

@OhComeOnFFS actually none of us lived close to them but there were more regular phone calls and visits from older two.

Yes two grandkids were close to the deceased and two weren't. The ones who were closer will receive more inheritance and the two who weren't close to the deceased will receive less. The two receiving less aren't happy about it

If it was me I would respect the wishes of the deceased and distribute the funds according to the Will. Then consider whether you wanted to gift some of your money (because that's what it is) to your cousins.

Morally why should anyone but dgm get to decide who gets dgm's money?

I think you should do a deed of variation and a 25% split. It’s what I would do if the same happened in my family. Seems really unfair that the two in their twenties not only missed out on closeness to grandparents by virtue of their parents relationship and age. To be compounded by an unfair inheritance split.
My dcs had a much less close relationship with PIL than their older cousins. Because there’s a work of difference between grand parenting in your 60s and your 80s and DH was concerned that his parents were shattered by being de facto childcare for the older cousins. But Will was 100% equal and not used to demonstrate favouritism.
on flip side, my eldest poss closer to grandparents on my side since they were cared for while I worked by my mother. By the time my younger ones and nieces came along, my parents less mobile etc. Would be horrified if will reflected that.

It’s spiteful of your grandparent, and makes clear that you two are the favourite grandchildren (probably of the favourite child)) and the others are not.

It’s not your fault to be dragged into it, but reflects very badly on the deceased and will drive a wedge through the family. What a legacy.

I agree.

Just follow the wishes of rhe person who died and left the will. Easiest thing to do and no need for guilt tripping.

I love how greed is dressed up as 'honouring your grandparent's wishes' and to change the will is 'disrespectful'. I am sorry, but how your grandparent has done this is divisive and unfair. It's not right. Also consider that frequently family wealth is not created by the person that died, but has previously been passed onto them by inheritance. It's therefore family money, and the owner has a responsibility to pass it down fairly when the time comes. I obviously don't know if that's the case for your grandparent though.

A similar but slightly different situation will probably come up in my family in a few years. I am prepared to do a deed of variation if necessary.

So people can't do what they want with their own money? What's the point of a will in that case?

There is a responsibility to be fair to your family. Unless they are murderers or something.

They can do what they want. They’ve left the money in the split they wanted.
And so can the op and their sibling - the inheritance is theirs and they can agree a deed of variation.

I was in a similar situation but the ratio was more like 90% and then a token amount to other 3 GC and some to charity- I was the 90%. I split it, keeping a small amount more for myself. It felt the right thing for our family. I feel a little background resentment now as two of my siblings are very high earners now. I am not and never will be. I choose to (try to!) let this go and be content with my lot.

My take on inheritance is that it is ‘money that was never there’ and simply a bonus to be grateful for, no matter how much or little- not to be expected or relied on. I do think the correct outcome i this situation could be different in each family.

I think you respect the will. Sorry, morally it may tug at you but it wasn't and isn't your decision to change things. This isn't now about them feeling equally valued emotionally because now they know they weren't. That should be what hurts, but it isn't. They just want the money. That's on them. It's pure greed. And while it isnt 'fair'. It is fair enough.