Inheritance question

[Hewlettthedogsout12]

Please can I get some advice. There are 4 grandchildren...two closer to grandparent. Two not as close. Grandparent has sadly passed away and left a large amount of money to each grandchild but split in the following percentages...33%, 33% (both to closer grandchildren), 16%, 16% to other two. Each will receive a large amount of money as there is a lot involved. I am one of the 33% beneficiaries involved. Other grandchildren are unhappy and feel it should be split 25% each. What would you do? There is around £800k involved so will make a big difference whatever is decided. Thanks

I don't agree that a will written say 20 years ago is someone's last wishes. Lots of people write wills and then think that bit of life administration is done.

DH and I updated our wills a few years ago. I had forgotten who we had nominated as executors. When I re-read our old wills one of the executors was dead and the other would now find the administration of an estate beyond them.

We have now left our estate in a way which I believe is fair but when we die it may in fact be grossly unfair. I hope our executors (our DCs) have the sense to work out that what we want to achieve is fairness and vary the terms if need be to achieve that.

I would not be impressed if my offspring was receiving a £100,000+ inheritance and thought it wasn't fair as someone else was getting more and actually asked for a bigger share. How greedy and disrespectful. The Grandparents can leave their money however they choose and this is what they chose. Keep your full share OP. If ever there was a reason to spend all your money and enjoy it whilst you're alive this situation is it!

I'd leave things as they are tbh.

Maybe the ones that weren't so close should be grateful that they are getting anything at all rather than be pissed off that it's less!

@Hiyawotcha · Today 14:55
I think you should do a deed of variation

AIUI, a deed of variation has to be consented /agreed by all beneficiaries of the will . If any of the beneficiaries affected are minors or do not have mental capacity, an application to the court will be needed. This will involve legal representation and expenses all charged to the estate, which leaves less money to inherit.

Which is a very good reason for residual beneficiaries NOT to agree to the deed of variation.

How have the cousins expressed they think it should be 25% each?

I'm also interested to know what the childless aunt thinks as they're technically the biggest loser here....

Ultimately your GP made their wishes clear but the total pot could see everyone ok if managed correctly.

Agree with all of this

Then I think what grandparent has done is very unfair! (Unless the two 33%ers have been providing round the clock care in their dotage or similar.)
Also unfair to Child C who inherits less as they have no grandchildren in their line…

Unfair treatment is the root of many a family fall out, and this seems exactly what such a will is bound to cause. What was granny thinking! But up to you OP, wether you value a few thousand pounds over family harmony.

This isn't true. If everyone is agreed you can make a deed of variation. My mother did one years ago with her sister and brother.

OP, what a rotten thing for your grandparents to do. If they'd spit it evenly none of you would have felt hard-done-by. Now they've created ill-feeling in the younger generation. Fairness is always best. Not that I'm saying that you need to do anything to remedy the situation. Make sure you have advice from a lawyer or accountant because Inheritance Tax will be due on an estate of £800k.

What a tricky situation.

My in laws treat some of their grandchildren differently from the rest. They would probably say they are closest to those gc. This is because they have shown favouritism towards them over and over again. They provide more childcare, bigger gifts, more support to the family. There are not extenuating circumstances.

My dc already have to put up with knowing they are second best to their grandparents in life. I would very much hope they didn’t have to feel this again after their death.

I am not saying your situation is the same but perhaps worth reflecting if it may be - especially as it is the children of one child who have benefitted. This may well suggest a level of favouritism.

If one of the beneficiaries is not in agreement about varying the division of the estate, a deed of variation will be impossible and the executor MUST distribute exactly as per the will. That's the law, which some people seem to be forgetting.

Oh no one should but everyone is free to respond and everyone will be living with the consequences. If the younger dgc feel like they were treated poorly and the OP and sibling don't balance things then there has to be acceptance if the relationship between. Cousins is damaged.

Every action has its consequences and that means actions of omission as well as commission

What even is the point of writing a will if your wishes don't matter? Grandchildren aren't "entitled" to money from a grandparent's estate. It is a gift. You should be grateful that you even get something, nevermind whining because others got more and expecting/coercing the people who got more to give you some of their money.

What's the point of making a will if someone is going to change it

If the cousins have said sadly their feelings are hurt by the preference shown I‘d consider a deed of variation. If they are throwing a strop purely about the money, I wouldn’t.

My siblings and I are very close to our grandparent, we always have been and as adults we still are and still see grandparent on a weekly basis. We have two cousins who saw DGP growing up, but as adults they make no effort whatsoever, they don’t even call to wish DGP a Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, or even a thank you for the cards and presents they are sent each year. When DGP passes away, it is their wish that their estate be divided between my mum, my aunt, myself, my two siblings. The cousins will not be included. Will this cause a problem with the cousins? Probably. Will I be sharing my inheritance with them? No. They don’t bother, they never call, never send a card, never say thank you for the cards/gifts they are still sent, don’t answer DGP calls, and are never there when DGP needs help with hospital visits etc. I therefore wouldn’t feel guilty about that, and I would respect my DGP’s wishes. You can’t treat people like strangers and then suddenly decide you’re family when there’s a financial incentive.

You'd give up tens of thousands of pounds to avoid a cousin's hurt feelings?
You're a better person than me.

I don’t agree that you need to stick to a will. It’s basically your money now and if you want to give a portion away that’s your choice. If someone left me a house I’m not obliged to live in it. It wouldn’t be disrespectful to sell it if that’s what I wanted.

It’s a difficult situation and I think it’s not good when inheritance throws up issues like this. Families have fallen out because of situations like this. Why would you cause such a foreseeable issue in your will?

I quite like my cousins but there is no way on this earth I would given them tens of thousands of pounds, especially if they asked.
Likewise I wouldn’t expect them to either, I would be grateful for getting anything. An inheritance is a bonus not a right

Yes. My cousins can bloody well jog on, especially the one who recently said my beliefs are 'woke rubbish'.

You're making your life unnecessarily complicated. It was your GP's money to do with as they wished. Just leave it be. It is not your responsibility to decide what is "fair" or "balanced". Anyway, it's moot if the other party doesn't want to give up the money.

Those cousins are getting £128k EACH from grandparents they weren't close to and they're bitching about it? Ridiculous.

Hang on, that's not the same at all - in both of your examples, one party was left with nothing and the others got everything.

That is not what has happened here, in fact the 'lesser' of these beneficiaries still get about £120,000 each, plenty of money to do something good with, and more money than most people would ever hope to get.

Only you can decide what feels right in your circumstances.

My father cut my sister out of his will as she has a high flying career and lives abroad and is unmarried. He felt she should move back to the UK to care for him in his final years. Funnily enough, he had no such issue with my brother who also has a stellar career and lives overseas.

My brother and I decided the right thing to do was to split the inheritance equally between the 3 of us, rather than leave my sister out. We lost over £200k each as a result, but it was morally the right thing to do.

This with bells on.

If it was you getting 33% and your sibling getting 16%, I'd have been minded to consider it, for family peace, but for cousins? Nah... do what your grandmother wanted. (I may be biased though as my cousins, through an inheritance or two, were found to be moneygrabbing bastards!)

They don't think it's fair? Well, clearly your DGM didn't think it was fair that they should financially benefit when you and your sibling were clearly much nicer to her when she was alive!

When my DGM died, her will stated that her estate go to her two children equally. My DM's sister had passed away, so her share went to her 5 children. My DM is still here, so got her share as planned.

My DM was Executor of the will and each of the 5 other grandchildren regularly contacted her asking for an update and for when they were going to get their money, despite not having ever visited my DGM in her care home, or in the years before she went in to the home.

I've never seen anyone move as fast as I did on the day of my DGM's funeral when my DM asked them at the wake to write down their bank details so she had them ready for when probate was granted.

As soon as they all had their money, my DM hasn't heard from them again. It's been 6 years now, so there is definitely no love lost there from my point of view.

I would normally think that everything should be equal but in this case your cousins are still receiving £128,000 each that they did not know about until the will was read out. £128,000 is a life-changing amount, especially as they were not close to their grandparents. If you and your sibling had received 45% each and your cousins £5% each it would be a different matter. I think this will is fair according to the wishes of your grandparents.