Allowance - how much?

[allaboutthecrisps]

Our DD is 14 and we think it might be time for her to have an allowance. She is very sensible and not very practised at shopping/ getting into and back from town on her own.

We would continue to buy school uniform and a pair of black shoes.

We think her allowance would cover all other clothing, haircuts, presents for friends, usual pocket money spends (books, occasional sweets, electronic things like headphones etc.), any lunches out with friends (not with us, we'd pay for those - lunches out with friends are v. v. rare and cheap), travel to/ from town (she can walk if she wants but there are bus options too).

We were thinking of £50 a month. How does this compare to what others get?

This will not be directly tied to household tasks as we're not sure that's an idea we really want to get behind given that household tasks are something we all have to do without financial reward, but just for context, she is pretty good at this kind of stuff. Today she made me lunch and is cleaning the bathroom for example, and takes full responsibility for her own room cleaning and tidying.

@Mammaaof have you rtft? Yes she gets pocket money. Has done for many years. She get £6 a month. Buys occasionally sweets, books, clothing item, donuts when out with friends. That kind of stuff. Never runs out but has birthday money to supplement it.

If money is that right, it's that tight. You can't give what you don't have, not sure why you're asking for opinions and then getting defensive though.
I was getting £15 pw in the late nineties early 2000s and my parents were not well off. I got two big clothes shops a year to kit me out, plus uniform, underwear etc as needed. If I wanted fashion bits on top it came out of my allowance, haircuts were paid for by my parents, I never wanted colour or a perm so not sure what their stance on that would've been. My parents were very generous with lifts, and topped up my phone credit here and there. My allowance was basically for socialising, books, CDs, make up (hair mascara!) , the odd bus fare, nose piercing (sorry dad) Etc. I got a PT waitressing job as soon as I got my NI number , to pay for gig tickets and to save so I could buy my parents presents without asking one of them for cash and I bought myself a discman which I loved. I'm very sensible with money as an adult.

@allaboutthecrisps think youve tagged the wrong person I never asked that!

£6 a month for a 14 year old is astonishing

Please don’t be that parent that decides to only buy uniform, she’s only 14 ffs don’t be so mean.
My DD15 gets £100pm, that’s for her to spend on what she chooses, usually clothes.
No 14 yr old should be expected to budget for all her own clothing, I had a mother like you, saying had as I’ve been NC for 16 years.

Good advice @partyatthepalace. She uses a moon cup actually but if she needed sanitary products we would get them. Last coat was actually a fiver at primark! But I know we cant depend on that kind of bargain (was obviously in the sale). Yes, good advice. I would not want her to run out of warm things. Or cooler stuff for summer.

@HerMammy
We're not forcing this in her. She's excited by the idea. Nonwaybee can afford £100 a month just for fun money but OH and I don't feel we're missing out by spending a lot less on ourselves. So interesting to hear how other people live.

Could you give her her child benefit money if you're expecting her to clothe herself, pay for haircuts etc?

@allaboutthecrisps she's excited that she has to save £2.50 a month to get a haircut after about 2 years of saving. And walking to mcds to eat a happy meal, when all of her friends would be having normal meals. I find that extremely hard to believe.

I think you on a wind up now @allaboutthecrisps

Ours get £20 BUT we buy their clothes, presents for friends and I give them extra for coffee / lunch when they meet friends so it's just for extra bits they want, I also pay if it's for school supplies etc

You say you’re financially secure and tbf sound very tight and seem to never spend anything on yourself.
My DD and her friends love clothes and fashion, your DD might soon take a keen interest in fashion and £50 won’t go far if it’s to include socialising, she won’t eat Happy Meals forever, it’s as if you don’t expect her to change or grow up, I’d never expect my DD to wear her school shoes (vans, docs etc) outside of school and I’m surprised your DD does.
Think what you can afford not comparing to when you were a teen.

I've reported this thread. Obviously a wind up.

[quote allaboutthecrisps]@Mammaaof also a bit confused as we obviously would be paying for all of that just giving her more freedom in the choices and priorities. I'm not asking her to find money to clothe herself.[/quote]
How are you giving her more freedom in her choices ? You’ve made it clear you buy the cheapest possible clothing/lunches/toiletries and you’ve based her allowance on those AND on the bare minimum one could possibly get away with spending on a teen!

She can’t ‘go down a brand’ so to speak so all you’re doing here is handing a kid the stress and responsibility of stretching a small amount of money like elastic. To cover her essentials! You seem to have managed to convince yourself you’re doing something nice for her but I’m boggled as to how you think that . Honestly, it’s starting to come across like the aim of this is to teach her life’s hard, tough shit!

You're supposed to buying her clothes.You get child benefit for her ffs , because she's a child. £50 for all that is a joke as well you know

Wow. I am really stunned at the rudeness here! I'm defensive as there is lot of really horrible attacks! £50 is ot a joke when we already buy a of that for less without feeling like we're hard done by. I'm going to ask for this thread to be removed as it's been taken over by either a bunch of trolls or a bunch of bullies.

I am mid thirties and at 14 got a £50 allowance, a lot has changed money wise in 20 years! My sons only 11 but I think without clothes and haircuts etc £20 a week is what I was roughly thinking of for going out with friends etc. Everything costs so much these days cinema etc is £15 alone here in london!

Here we go, OP is told by the majority she is being mean and cries bullies, trolls!!
No, we are pointing out you are being mean and putting unnecessary worry on a 14 yr old, again she won’t be happy with Happy Meals and cheap clothes forever.

She is fully grown so there is no need for a new wardrobe as she grows.

Op, I meant to ask - how do you know this?

@HerMammy

Do you not have any idea what some people's finances are like? Its ot mean to give money for essentials plus some extras. What's wrong with you? Do you normally find it hard to understand others positions or are you just having a bad day and trying to make yourself feel better by putting others down? Of course she doesn't have to eat happy meals forever and if she wants to spend 4.79 on an adult meal it would clearly stretch to that. Some of us btw have yo put up with cheap clothes forever. feel free ot to put us down for that.

@chonkymonky
And heaven forbid she might like new styles, like those crazy whacky teenagers who change style multiple times per year!!
Is the poor lassie to wear the same primary leggings and hoody forever or until she scrimps ££ together for a nee one??
Why have kids if you expect to offload them at 14??

*primark not primary

@chonkymonky
She's not grown for 2 years and went through puberty early. Pretty secure in that I think. If she were to suddenly grow and need clothes for that reason we'd look at using our credit card to get things ourselves for her as she obviously would find it hard to get a fill wardrobe from.scratch on that.

Full not fill sorry

@HerMammy
She cant get a new wardrobe three times a year regardless of whether we pay for it directly or give her money and the she pays for it so that was about an irrelevant comment as they come. I'm not going to respond to you any more as you are being nasty.