Allowance - how much?

[allaboutthecrisps]

Our DD is 14 and we think it might be time for her to have an allowance. She is very sensible and not very practised at shopping/ getting into and back from town on her own.

We would continue to buy school uniform and a pair of black shoes.

We think her allowance would cover all other clothing, haircuts, presents for friends, usual pocket money spends (books, occasional sweets, electronic things like headphones etc.), any lunches out with friends (not with us, we'd pay for those - lunches out with friends are v. v. rare and cheap), travel to/ from town (she can walk if she wants but there are bus options too).

We were thinking of £50 a month. How does this compare to what others get?

This will not be directly tied to household tasks as we're not sure that's an idea we really want to get behind given that household tasks are something we all have to do without financial reward, but just for context, she is pretty good at this kind of stuff. Today she made me lunch and is cleaning the bathroom for example, and takes full responsibility for her own room cleaning and tidying.

@allaboutthecrisps

Perhaps should also add that we pay for her lunches at school once a week and the rest of the time provide stuff for her to take in as a packed lunch so it would not be expected to cover meals at school.

That's basic stuff though. It sounds like you spend very little on her and are using this is a way to spend even less. If my DD wanted a trip into town and lunch that would set her back just over £20. Not much money left to buy everything else for the rest of the month. Even a decent pair of jeans can be £30/£40 - I think your are far too low to expect £50 to buy everything.

The haircut, you only take her twice a year? And your expectation seems to be she will have the same haircut forever?

Hari is tricky as her hair is very thick and quite unmanageable. If you start down fancy haircuts you will need to pay for a good hairdresser and go every 6 weeks. I can't afford that either. I don't think we will be spending less BTW, I think this will actually be more. Sounds like we have just managed to find ways to spend very little tbh!

My son is 17 and I give him £60 but pay his phone and buy his clothes. Clothes and trainers are £150 -£200 a year as he isn't fussed on brands. My 13 year old gets £8 a week and £50 a month for clothes.

At that stage mine got £50 a month but we paid for everything except outings with friends
Now at Uni they get £500 a month on top of their accommodation and I still pay for things that were on DD like phones and contact lenses and they can buy stationery and books on my Amazon account

I consider it my responsibility to pay for my DS' clothes, haircuts and bus fare tbh. He has a small amount of pocket money for spending on whatever he wants but the responsibility of budgeting for bus fare and haircuts is just too much. There is no need IMO. It's a lesson too early.

Wow, £50 a month just for outings with friends!! To do that we'd have to stop having any outings with friends ourselves! I think we must have very different incomes or outgoings

Well thank you all, very thought-provoking. I think maybe we will go with £50 a month but also take bras/ basic underwear out as something we buy and then also monitor whether it is enough and consider whether we can increase if not.

@allaboutthecrisps

Perhaps should also add that we pay for her lunches at school once a week and the rest of the time provide stuff for her to take in as a packed lunch so it would not be expected to cover meals at school.

There is no need to add that . Children don't buy school dinners or ingredients for packed lunch with their pocket money.

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I got an allowance for everything at 11 but I do look back and think that was too young. 14 (and a very sensible 14) is a little different though and we would help her to make budgeting decisions in the first instance. if we started it now, she is also fully stocked with all clothing she needs, so there would be no immediate expenditure required.

There is no need to add that confused. Children don't buy school dinners or ingredients for packed lunch with their pocket money.

I know that, but sometimes people do expect that out of an allowance which would obviously be relevant.

@allaboutthecrisps my post was re the 15 year old boy. I do think girls are cheaper for clothes as they are more likely to be happy with Primark etc and things from RI etc as presents.

@allaboutthecrisps my post was re the 15 year old boy. I do think girls are cheaper for clothes as they are more likely to be happy with Primark etc and things from RI etc as presents.

Ah, I see. Thank you. Sounds like we might need to review our thinking in a couple of years when we might be thinking the same for our son too. Thus far he does not mind what he wears and is quite little. I think shoes can be much more expensive for boys too as their feet come into adult men sizes, so this is useful thinking for the future.

I think that's fine to start with (although I would expect to be paying for haircuts and doing a shopping trip with her a couple of times a year too), but ask her to keep a spreadsheet for the first couple of months to see where it goes. Then if it seems like it's not enough, you'll be able to see whether it really isn't enough and it isn't covering the basics or she hasn't been handling how you'd expected.

@allaboutthecrisps I do think £50 is too low for all that though. The £43 a month my daughter has is only for fun stuff no essentials at all. We spend approx £500 a year on non essential clothes for her that doesn’t include a school uniform. Hair is £15 every 6-8 weeks.
£75 I think would be the minimum for everything.

I used to get £40 a month which I thought was very fair, but that was in 1991 😁. £12.50 a week doesn't go far. That said she's got somewhere to live, food, presumably a wardrobe already full of clothes.....so in terms of what she actually NEEDS is sounds perfectly adequate....and would encourage her to learn to budget effectively. Maybe you could give her this as a base amount, and then (household finances permitting of course) she could earn extra to top it up.

I think £50 sounds a great place to start. If you find she's struggling then you can absolutely 'help' if it's stuff that's needed - but I think it's a really foot amount to start with and see how it goes! Our 11 yr old gets £20 for 'stuff' - we pay for clothes, things she 'needs', so it feels in line with that (she doesn't have lunches, trips out etc)

My teen gets £40 a month to buy clothes, socialising,presents, makeup and skin care. . We buy all uniform, underwear, winter coat, pay for haircuts, school shoes and pair of school trainers, sanitary products toothpaste.

That's not enough to cover all of those things. That's the same amount I received in the early 90's (and my mum used to still pay for my hair cuts and trainers!)

It really depends on what you can afford I guess, but I would suggest £50 a month, plus 2 shops a year for clothes and you should pay for her haircuts.

I didn’t have to buy my own clothes till I was at college. I didn’t get loads it was the 90s, no designer brands needed etc.I wasn’t expected to buy my own toiletries/haircuts etc either.

I’m all for young people learning to budget and deal with money but I think you are expecting a lot out of the £50 a month. Have you discussed it with your daughter?

I think that is a very mean amount of allowance. I think you should buy her everyday clothing and footwear for her, however, if she wanted an item of clothing that you thought was outside your price band then she tops it up from her allowance. Example of a winter coat, you pick 1 at £40 she picks 1 at £50, she then has the choice of the £40 coat, or make up the difference herself for the £50 coat. As a school girl I really don't understand why you would not be fully clothing and feeding your child. She can't wear school uniform all the time. You are responsible for her

I left school 23 years ago....... A few parents and kids had this arrangement and they usually got their family allowance. So £80 a month or whatever it was then.

£50 a month is ridiculously low and unfair as her friends will have more money for treats and clothes than she will ever be able to manage. I'd raise it to a more realistic level, just give her the family allowance each month, at least then she'll have enough to pay for the things she wants and save a little.

I used to get my child benefit money for clothes and £20 pocket money so £85 a month ish plus I had a job. Dd is now 13 but with lockdown she is not out with friends at the cinema etc. This thread has got me thinking as initially I thought £50 sounded fine but then I realised that in 1996 I got more! That said, I don’t think clothes are more expensive now days. One for us to think on in a year’s time... I don’t really buy much toiletry stuff for dd and she’s been given lots of makeup. I’m not sure what she’d buy!

It seems low to me. My youngest DD gets £50/month (younger than your though, she is 12).

However we pay for haircuts, Her oyster travel, toiletries, her standard wardrobe (ie enough clothes in a variety of styles), shoes (again so she has all the needed styles etc), phone, tech needed for school and contribute to presents (normally split sibling/parental and she covers friends).

Her pocket money is really just for extra spending and mostly is spent on extra stuff for her room and extra clothes/accessories she sees when out and about. Occasionally she will use for cinema and lunch but she's too young to be going out properly with friends just yet, but when she gets older I would expect her to muse pocket money for days out with friends.

Yeah it seems a bit stingy to be honest. My friends received that amount when I was a teenager over ten years ago!
I don’t have teens but my little brothers are and they get about £100 each a month for fun stuff, outings with friends, AirPods, video games etc. A meal at Nando’s with friends is about £15 each and things like trainers and clothes add up. Especially as 14/15 is that age where they become interested in makeup and fashion.
I think adding in basic clothes shopping, toiletries and haircuts is a bit much you should really be doing that tbh.

I was thinking about £20 a week, but I would expect her to do some chores and also her homework/music practice. I wouldn't expect everything to come out of that though. You will still need to buy her essentials eg sanitary towels, shampoo, underwear but explain that it won't be fancy and if she wants more expensive of luxury she can fund from allowance.

I think maybe we will go with £50 a month but also take bras/ basic underwear out as something we buy

Oh goodness you were not kidding when you said you would buy her uniform and a pair of bald shoes. Not even her underwear

You really do just sound mean.