Allowance - how much?

[allaboutthecrisps]

Our DD is 14 and we think it might be time for her to have an allowance. She is very sensible and not very practised at shopping/ getting into and back from town on her own.

We would continue to buy school uniform and a pair of black shoes.

We think her allowance would cover all other clothing, haircuts, presents for friends, usual pocket money spends (books, occasional sweets, electronic things like headphones etc.), any lunches out with friends (not with us, we'd pay for those - lunches out with friends are v. v. rare and cheap), travel to/ from town (she can walk if she wants but there are bus options too).

We were thinking of £50 a month. How does this compare to what others get?

This will not be directly tied to household tasks as we're not sure that's an idea we really want to get behind given that household tasks are something we all have to do without financial reward, but just for context, she is pretty good at this kind of stuff. Today she made me lunch and is cleaning the bathroom for example, and takes full responsibility for her own room cleaning and tidying.

I'd agree with that rainbow. I thought £50 was tbh as if you put 20 for clothes, 10 for pocket money stuff (more than she has now), 7.50 for presents, you then have, 2.50 for haircuts, then you have £10 for socialising. Which, as I say, is more tha I got. I am seeing that others give more though. It's not about devolving responsibility. It's about giving her more choice which I think is fitting at her age. I'm going to look at the finances and see if we can give her a little more and also explore the spreadsheet option do we can track where things are going wrong or where we are being unrealistic if it doesn't work.

An allowance to me would mean money for luxuries, non essentials etc. Phone bills, trips to McDonald's, bus fare into town, clothes on top of the basic necessities, takeaway coffees, books, music etc. Not everyone can afford to give their kids an allowance, that's fair enough, but that's my opinion on what they're for.

A haircut is significant more than £2.50 though. And a top could be anything from £5-20. Not that you need to buy something every month but I think even in the low end or sale racks of new look/primark you’d be hard pressed to get much.

I absolutely understand that £50’is a big chunk of money but I think you have to rethink jus how far that might go.

Perhaps track what your Dd and you spend on her for a month and go from there.

I think it's really tight to expect her to pay for all them things with £50!

£50 was tbh as if you put 20 for clothes, 10 for pocket money stuff (more than she has now), 7.50 for presents, you then have, 2.50 for haircuts, then you have £10 for socialising

The problem with this is that £10 per month for socialising is gone if she gets a bus to Maccy Ds with her friends just once in that month. She’s 14, she’s going to want to socialise with her friends. A trip to the cinema for a friends birthday followed by a milk shake is going to eat into the clothing budget (which is to cover essential clothing) leaving her potentially having to decide between replacing an item that needs replacing OR celebrating friends birthday. Yes, plenty of adults have to make those decisions but that’s because as adults we have other financial responsibilities. She’s 14 and shouldn’t have the responsibility of making a small budget stretch to cover essentials.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for teens learning about choices and that they can’t have everything they want but to me that should mean:

^I can buy this eyeshadow palette this week OR I can go bowling/to the cinema but I can’t do both (and whichever I choose I won’t be spending much next week as a result).

It shouldn’t be:

I need a new pair of trainers but if I want a pair that are even half decent I’ll have to save this and next month’s clothing AND socialising allowance AND stay home looking at them until I get the next months allowance.

Rather than trying to stretch your budget to give more than you can afford it would make far more sense to give her a smaller amount each month but for fun money and saving. She’d still have to budget and make choices but without also having to think about how cheaply she can get her essentials. Separately you could allow her to spend say, £100 on clothing twice a year which would allow her to take advantage of sales/reductions, something she can’t do unless she saves the £20 per month for five months, buying nothing new for all that time.

@Mammaaof

I think it's really tight to expect her to pay for all them things with £50!

It's not tight if it's all you can afford.

@TheMethodicalMeerkat

£50 was tbh as if you put 20 for clothes, 10 for pocket money stuff (more than she has now), 7.50 for presents, you then have, 2.50 for haircuts, then you have £10 for socialising

The problem with this is that £10 per month for socialising is gone if she gets a bus to Maccy Ds with her friends just once in that month. She’s 14, she’s going to want to socialise with her friends. A trip to the cinema for a friends birthday followed by a milk shake is going to eat into the clothing budget (which is to cover essential clothing) leaving her potentially having to decide between replacing an item that needs replacing OR celebrating friends birthday. Yes, plenty of adults have to make those decisions but that’s because as adults we have other financial responsibilities. She’s 14 and shouldn’t have the responsibility of making a small budget stretch to cover essentials.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for teens learning about choices and that they can’t have everything they want but to me that should mean:

^I can buy this eyeshadow palette this week OR I can go bowling/to the cinema but I can’t do both (and whichever I choose I won’t be spending much next week as a result).

It shouldn’t be:

I need a new pair of trainers but if I want a pair that are even half decent I’ll have to save this and next month’s clothing AND socialising allowance AND stay home looking at them until I get the next months allowance.

Rather than trying to stretch your budget to give more than you can afford it would make far more sense to give her a smaller amount each month but for fun money and saving. She’d still have to budget and make choices but without also having to think about how cheaply she can get her essentials. Separately you could allow her to spend say, £100 on clothing twice a year which would allow her to take advantage of sales/reductions, something she can’t do unless she saves the £20 per month for five months, buying nothing new for all that time.

Exactly as I was trying to say, but infinitely more articulate

We will buy her trainers as she needs them for school. As I said before she does not need to get the bus anywhere so a mc ds friend ds trip is actually more like £4 than a tenner.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I think that the parent should be paying for the majority of stuff on that list! Give her less money a month but that money is just for fun/leisure. I wouldn't give my child £50 and say that's all I can afford this is what you have to pay for and give a list of things.

I think that is fine. We have our daughter a similar amount but also continued to fund essential clothes. If she wanted£100 trainers, we would give her£45 and she would top up etc. She got herself a job as soon as old enough and I was/am very proud of her.

@allaboutthecrisps £4 for mcds!?! Is she still on happy meals!

A meal at McDonald’s is £4.79. Bus fair would be at least £1. So that’s almost £6. L

I don't know why you even posted @allaboutthecrisps your obviously not listening to people saying it's not reasonable way to do it, and you think your way is right so just crack on, why bother asking for advice when you just keep defending your decision 🤨

Oh come on @allaboutthecrisps the trainers were an example, I think you’re deliberately missing my point. And are you really saying she won’t want or need to get the bus anywhere, ever? That everything a teen might be interested in is on your doorstep? Or do you really mean that what’s within walking distance will just have to do and getting a bus to somewhere that costs more than a fiver for lunch is an unnecessary extravagance? That if her friends would like to go further afield than Primark to look at jeans she’ll just have to leave them to it as she hasn’t budgeted the bus fare for window shopping?

The fact is you’re planning to make her responsible for a lot of her essentials leaving her with few or no choices to actually make - she’ll have to stretch this allowance by buying/doing the cheapest available option always, potentially resulting in her having to swerve socialising with her friends.

What does she currently spend her £6 per month pocket money on? Has that been factored into the £50?

@TheMethodicalMeerkat I totally agree!! My personal opinion is that the parent should pay for alot on that list (my parents did and absolutely not well off) and them £50 can be solely for her to enjoy herself with

Yes she eats happy meals
We all do! I can see this is unusual though and this all is just making me realise how much cash others just crash through in comparison to us.

@TheMethodicalMeerkat
I don't want to say where we live but a bus is not required to get to all the things a teen of her age will want to do. I don't understand the trainers comment. What else might she need that a more modest allowance wont cover? She doesn't just ship at primark. She got herself a skirt at pull and bear the other day for £7.

@Mammaaof bit unfair seeing as I said I was going to look at increasing the amount based on the comments.

Ive heard it all now "you all eat happy meals" have a day off!!

@Mammaaof also a bit confused as we obviously would be paying for all of that just giving her more freedom in the choices and priorities. I'm not asking her to find money to clothe herself.

That is not enough if she has to buy all her non school clothes and pay for lunches and hair cuts. Most parents pay for all that, allowance is for 'spending' money. Unless you give her a dress allowance and that would have to be quite a bit more on top of the £50.

She is fourteen, has she never had regular pocket money before?

@allaboutthecrisps why are you looking at increasing the amounts, just pay for the stuff as a parent you should pay for and let her use her money for fun things! Decrease it from £50 if you want but making her save £2.50 a month for a haircut is absolutely ridiculous.

No idea what this means or why adults eating happy meals is so surprising. I'm fat. Don't seem to be able to eat much without getting fatter. Oh doesn't like big meals and kids can err on the chubby side if we're not careful and happy meals never leave us hungry so we don't eat for the sake of it.

@allaboutthecrisps yes but your asking her to do it all for £50 a month!

@allaboutthecrisps if your that worried about your weight you could not go there at all 🤨

I think just keep an eye on clothes - even sensible 14 year olds won’t necessarily prioritise staying warm and dry. And £100 does sound like you got off lightly that year (no winter coat or much in the way of jeans, solid out of school shoes or jumpers.

Assume that tampons etc are covered by you along with all toiletries. And yes, if she needs solid bras, that and underwear too.