My inhertiance is causing issues in the family

[eastendgirl234]

Even writing this post I feel embarrassed as I am perfectly aware that we live in a world of financial hardship. So please know, I am not trying to brag and I don’t want a pity party. I just want some advice from an unbiased third party.

So here goes… I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die but she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything). In addition, she gave me a large sum of money to renovate the house as it was built in the 40s and hasn’t been renovated since. As a 22-year-old girl, this is something I should be happy about. It means I can live mortgage free for the rest of my life. However, it has become an issue within my family and my relationships.

My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful! She thinks I should give her and my sister the money between them. My godmother explicitly advised that I use the money for bills (which are £900 a month including council tax and insurance) and to renovate the house as a builder quotes it might cost over £100k! I am only earning £21k annually so as you can imagine cannot afford to pay that on my own. I plan to rent out rooms to alleviate some of the costs but cannot do that until I renovate it. I decided to take my godmothers advice and renovate the home. Now my mum is suggesting I re-mortgage the house and give her and my sister £25k each. However, I don’t want the financial responsibility of mortgage payments and bills at my age and on my current salary. I suggested that in 2-3 years I might be in a better situation to do that, but she thinks I am being selfish, and this is causing issues between us.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I have inherited this house, because my family, my friends and people I meet that are my age are struggling and feel like everyone is judging me for getting the easy way out. Should I feel this way?

P.s. I am not a mum. But as this is a platform where family-oriented women share their stories I hope you won’t mind!

Can i just share with you what happened in my family . My nan left her home and all her money to my brothers. She thought the men were more important ( a common theme my mum and nan actually support !!) . It hurt me greatly esp as i waa really struggling as a single mum. Im now actually in my own home v happy but mt family completely fell apart and we are all seperate as a family. It did cause a massive divide and lots of pain leaving lots of hurt. You choose what to do but its just money and not worth the pain . If it were me i would help those i love but it is your choice

Personally if it was me in your position there would be absolutely no question, I would willingly give a share to my family.

I wouldn't remortgage if I had also been given a large sum of money, instead I would give some of said money to my siblings, not because I was forced or because I thought it was expected but because I would want to, I can't imagine why anyone who is close with family members wouldn't want to make their lives a bit easier too.

It's your decision entirely though, I would just caution that if you were on good terms with your mum/sister before this, don't let money taint that bond; It's only money, you can't get another mum or sister.

Your Mum is being greedy, there is no other word for it. Your godmother has made you a very generous gift, rather than you having to wait until she is gone, and she gave you the money to use for the house. If she had wanted you to give the money to your mother and sister (who has been dragged unwillingly into this it seems) she would surely have suggested it.

I can't believe people saying the godmother should have given money to the other family members - what utter rubbish! Presumably she is not godmother to the sister, so why should she give her money, and being a friend of the OP's father why should she give money to her mother? There are some people with very odd ideas on MN.

Enjoy the house OP, and if your mother can't be happy for you then she is a very odd sort of mother!

I'm just amazed at these people being left money in godparents' wills, is this the norm?

My godfather left me a quarter share of his estate, he had no children.

So you are 22 but have worked as your godmothers nanny for 4 years?

So you have only just stopped doing this? (Assuming a nanny would be 18+)

So the godmothers child must still be very young?

Why are they not getting this house?

Why would the godmother gift you the house when she has her own child to provide for?

Unless she is super rich and this is only a small part of her full assets?

But then if she is that rich why is the house so dilapidated that it needs £100k of work done?

Op are you staying in this house now?

It sounds like the godmother could be pulling a fast one on you, getting you to house sit and pay huge bills whilst she is renovating her house.

You realise she could put you out at any minute and you’d never see that £800pcm in bills you’ve been paying again?

It does all sound very strange to me, why has this very rich woman got a dilapidated house sitting around? What about her own children? Where are they living and why isn’t she in the house that’s been in her family for generations?

Also yes the nanny arrangement too - were you living with them? You must have been very young.

I inherited from an Uncle, with nothing to my siblings.
I did share with DM and siblings as I was afraid of fallout if I didn’t.
Also DM told me I had to!
You can’t do this in your situation, so smile, say thank you, and tell DM to back off for the present.
Also, when getting advice about the property, ask for legal advice about DM.

It is mentioned there is a large portfolio of property.
It may have been rented out as flats/bedsits, & need reno... entirely possible

I didn't see it anywhere else in the thread but, depending on house value and how it was gifted, there is the risk of you being liable for stamp duty on the market value of the property.

Along with all the other implications mentioned in this thread I would also agree that you seek your own legal advice before doing anything.

WagtailRobin well said ! The first post stated* My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful!* - really ? I don't know what kind of self absorbed /selfish planet the majority of MN seems to live on these days - but I (and it seems Wagtail.. ) come from a much kinder time.

If you really are 'grateful' for all the sacrifices a single parent makes, that she has been a good and loving mother AND you have a sister that is important and special to you... why on earth would you not be treating this 'inheritance' (attempt to defraud a spouse of his rightful share of marital assets) .. as a very lucky windfall and actually WANT to share some of your good fortune with the two most important people in your life. ?

The 'your mother is such a grabby bitch' 'you owe her nothing' (!!) 'don't help them, it's all yours'
posters on here are truly depressing. Does money really bring people so much joy that they would rather have it, than their family ? That they wouldn't get 10 x more happiness from their good fortune by sharing it with the people she is closest to ? Are the majority of MN posters from abusive, dysfunctional families who hate their parents and siblings or are they simply from a generation where they have never been taught that sharing is actually a really lovely thing to do. ?
The OP was depressing enough (although I think it is a pile of fantastical nonsense) .. the replies however were just shocking in their callousness towards family.

I could understand your mum perhaps being sad your sister didn’t get the same.. but for herself?!! No words I’m afraid..

Your godmother sounds shady af. Why does it cost £900 a month? Why is it such a wreck if she’s minted? Why didn’t she give it to her own dcs? And why is she so sentimental about it? She can gift it but you can’t sell it? Is there a cellar she told you never to go in? You need your own legal advice.

Personally if I got some life changing amount from a godparent then I’d share with my sibling. It’s not likely as I’m the youngest and have barrel scraping godparents. I haven’t seen one of them since the baptism. I’d get more pleasure out of helping my sibling than keeping it myself, and that’s purely personal. Obviously lots of people don’t like their siblings. If it was a few £100 I’d buy something nice for myself but I’d feel a twat keeping that amount.

I don't have any children of my own, not through choice but due to fertility issues. I hope that will change but for the time being it isn't.
My god daughter is my absolute world, she is my child from another mother.
In the event I pass away I have left her a large sum of money (three figures). I want her to spend that money on securing her future as in a house, so she can be mortgage free.
Please don't be bullied into giving away your inheritance. Your godmother wants you to have it.

I have left her a large sum of money (three figures)

So a maximum of £999 then?

@VanGoghsDog oops my mistake. Thanks for sarcastically pointing that out, I meant 6!