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Original poster

My inhertiance is causing issues in the family

291 replies

eastendgirl234 · 19/02/2020 13:10

Even writing this post I feel embarrassed as I am perfectly aware that we live in a world of financial hardship. So please know, I am not trying to brag and I don’t want a pity party. I just want some advice from an unbiased third party.

So here goes… I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die but she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything). In addition, she gave me a large sum of money to renovate the house as it was built in the 40s and hasn’t been renovated since. As a 22-year-old girl, this is something I should be happy about. It means I can live mortgage free for the rest of my life. However, it has become an issue within my family and my relationships.

My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful! She thinks I should give her and my sister the money between them. My godmother explicitly advised that I use the money for bills (which are £900 a month including council tax and insurance) and to renovate the house as a builder quotes it might cost over £100k! I am only earning £21k annually so as you can imagine cannot afford to pay that on my own. I plan to rent out rooms to alleviate some of the costs but cannot do that until I renovate it. I decided to take my godmothers advice and renovate the home. Now my mum is suggesting I re-mortgage the house and give her and my sister £25k each. However, I don’t want the financial responsibility of mortgage payments and bills at my age and on my current salary. I suggested that in 2-3 years I might be in a better situation to do that, but she thinks I am being selfish, and this is causing issues between us.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I have inherited this house, because my family, my friends and people I meet that are my age are struggling and feel like everyone is judging me for getting the easy way out. Should I feel this way?

P.s. I am not a mum. But as this is a platform where family-oriented women share their stories I hope you won’t mind!

OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 19/02/2020 17:45

OP - I'd suggest you stop reading this thread - people are just trying to freak you out now with some pretty ludicrous comments....

Parsley65 · 19/02/2020 18:17

Wow Eastendgirl congratulations!
I have children a bit younger, but I'd be delighted if one had such luck.
I would probably then be able to concentrate my wealth on the other child so everyone could benefit.

IndecentFeminist · 19/02/2020 18:21

Have you taken on any costs yet? Before it has been transferred to your name?

JingsMahBucket · 19/02/2020 18:27

@FFSFFSFFS I agree. There is so much overreaction and searching for absurd technicalities on this thread that it’s embarrassing. From everything @eastendgirl234 has described everything is above board and on track to be done in a few months. So much useless hysteria and freaking out on here.

Roussette · 19/02/2020 18:37

I'm certainly not freaking out but if this were my DD I would be advising caution and legal advice. I don't call that hysteria.

For instance, someone I know ... ten years after their divorce, was able to go back and make a claim on something ... it's not unusual. I know the OP says it has been agreed in court, I would just want to double check that. And then there's any legal or tax implications. I would just be urging a DD of mine to take advice

Soontobe60 · 19/02/2020 18:44

You don't need to NOT tell your gm that you're seeking your own legal advice. You may be naive, you may not. Most women of your age and many older would not fully know the legal ramifications of what has happened. Doesn't mean you're stupid. Seeking advice from a solicitor is the most sensible thing to do.
BTW, you said your gm wasn't trying to avoid anything, but she was. She was trying to shaft her ex by gifting you this house before the divorce - you told us that on your original post.
When she gave you all the cash, what did the bank do? Because here would be a very thorough investigation into where you got hold of such a large amount.

HermanHermit · 19/02/2020 18:52

@eastendgirl234 I haven’t seen anyone make the very simple solution of offering your sister somewhere to live while she saves for her deposit- would that work? You sound like you’d still have room for a paying lodger to help cover the bills

strawberry2017 · 19/02/2020 18:59

What has your GM said about the fact your mother is trying to get you to take money out of the property to give to her?
As harsh as it is, if you help anyone I would say your sister only.
I know she's your mother but the fact she feels so entitled when she doesn't even know the GM doesn't sit comfortably with me,
She should be the happiest for your good fortunes that you won't have to struggle.
I could understand your DS being put out but she's not even asking.
I think you need to speak to your GM and fill her in and talk quite frankly to your mother that she's unreasonable and needs to back off.

strawberry2017 · 19/02/2020 19:00

Oh and I agree with @hermanhermit - that's a really good offer to make to your sister

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/02/2020 19:02

TBH if your sister is set to inherit from her godmother why would you consider gifting her money from yours? Would she do the same? Your mother on the other hand is a self centred money grabbing bitch-sorry!

FabbyChix · 19/02/2020 19:36

Your mums a ponce I’d tell your mum If she wants money to go and earn it

Forgetfebuary · 19/02/2020 19:43

Op was it a typo you said..
I'm not the proprietor...

Yes definitely get some legal advice on this.

Does your aunt have other sources of income. Why doesn't she live in it?.
Would she ever want too, why didn't she leave it to her own dd?

Your aunt is very young, her own fortunes could change.. Would she want it back?
Want to live in it? Want the income.

Re your dm, it's rather unsavory to ask you for money and well done yiy6, at your age to say no. Your absolutely right that to raise a debt agaisnt this house would be nonsensical.

However, done up with rent coming in, a longer term yielding asset.

If it was me and your general relationship with your dm is good I'd be kind, forgiving, say it's not a pot of money but if I can get rent up and going, after tax etc I'd try and give her something.

TheresWaldo · 19/02/2020 19:48

Yes what about her own children? Does she own a lot of properties? I don't understand why she would give you a old house needing renovation in that case. Surely she was not living it in before if it's not been touched since it was built? What about your dad? You said she was a friend of his. Have you spoken to him about it?

TheresWaldo · 19/02/2020 19:58

I am quite jealous of her as she's younger than me, and must have a huge amount of disposable income. My godmother moved to Australia when I was a child and I never heard another thing from her. Sad

PrinnyPree · 19/02/2020 20:23

This isn't inheritance this is a gift and I'm assuming it's because you are closer to your Godmother than your Sister and Mother? Why is your Mother asking YOU to split the gift? Surely her questions should be for your Godmother if she's still alive?

What is the family dynamic here? It seems a bit strange and your Mother and Sister should not be asking to have a split of your gift, she's not a relative so they were not deprived of inheritance.

Have you got anymore background OP?

Worraloadabollox · 19/02/2020 21:49

She's a right cheeky mare, your Godmother, isn't she? 😊

VanGoghsDog · 20/02/2020 00:23

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MiniMum97 · 20/02/2020 00:28

Your mother should be happy for you. The money wasn't given to her and your sister, it was given to you. She isn't entitled to any of it legally or morally. How awful that she is putting you in his position.

Bingeslayer · 20/02/2020 00:32

Sorry but your mum is very selfish,I'm a single mum with 2 dds and certainly wouldn't expect any of their windfalls

VanGoghsDog · 20/02/2020 00:41

Her divorce lawyer has said as long as she doesn’t die within 7 years I don’t have to pay any tax. So please don’t worry on that front.

Divorce lawyers are not tax experts.

The GM has to pay capital gains tax as she has divested herself of an asset, a property that was not her main residence. She has to take the value of the property when she got it, the value of it now, and pay capital gains tax on the increase in value since she has owned it (that is above the limit).

But that's not your problem. It's hers.

Also, you can ignore the scaremongering about care home fees. Local authorities can claw back assets if they were disposed of in order to avoid care home fees. To that end you need to; a) be in a LA funded care home and not paying your fees for them to start looking for other assets, b) have disposed of the asset to avoid care home fees. As only about 25% of people end up in care homes, and as your gm is 49, there is no current expectation of care home fees so she has not done this. And even if she needed a care home if she self funded then there's no problem at all anyway.

ineedaholidaynow · 20/02/2020 00:53

Can you confirm whether you are the legal owner OP?

Is anyone living in the house at the moment?

If you can’t sell the house being gifted something that costs £900 per month doesn’t sound such a great gift to me.

TheHagOnTheHill · 20/02/2020 01:23

Congratulations OP and good luck with the renovations.
Wait a while before treating your mum you need to make sure your funding is ok with lodgers(,insurance will go up).
The you need to save as you will need money for upkeep,refurbing as lodgers go through and emergency money for boiler,white goods,roof blows off etc.
And enjoy it.
Are you now on the deeds though ?

Blackbear19 · 20/02/2020 07:55

Op get your own legal advice. This does sound like it could end up a rope around your neck. Esp if their is something in the conditions on you selling it.

You need to do something to avoid a family fall out. Could your family move in with you to enable them to save money for deposits?

The idea of your sis being in her GM will is fine in theory but if her GM has children they will take priority in any will.

I'm speaking as somebody who has watched a massive 10 year rift over GM inheritance. And pulled out of GM role to a child when I realised that their siblings GM had a very active role in the child's life and much more than I'd be able to offer due to my own family commitments.

Blackbear19 · 20/02/2020 09:58

Things that have crosses my mind,

GM is very young to be thinking about disposing of assets. If the divorce is already settled why is she doing it now?

Why is it £900 per month? Is a chunk of cash going on the lease? Who are you going to be paying the money too?

Is it leasehold or freehold, does the lease need renewed?

Is she giving you a lease or the freehold, could she be keeping the freehold?

If you rent out rooms, would you be liable for income tax?

Would it be better tax wise to buy for a nominal sum?

Op you really do need advice to make sure you aren't being used, or put in a vulnerable position.

GCAcademic · 20/02/2020 12:45

Get advice ,you may have to give it back to pay for her care in the next 7 years

The seven years timeframe relates to liability for inheritance tax, not care fees. The local authority can go as far back as they like in looking for deliberate deprivation of assets.

The OP needs urgent legal advice and absolutely should not be taking out a mortgage on an asset that may not be safely here.

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