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Original poster

My inhertiance is causing issues in the family

291 replies

eastendgirl234 · 19/02/2020 13:10

Even writing this post I feel embarrassed as I am perfectly aware that we live in a world of financial hardship. So please know, I am not trying to brag and I don’t want a pity party. I just want some advice from an unbiased third party.

So here goes… I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die but she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything). In addition, she gave me a large sum of money to renovate the house as it was built in the 40s and hasn’t been renovated since. As a 22-year-old girl, this is something I should be happy about. It means I can live mortgage free for the rest of my life. However, it has become an issue within my family and my relationships.

My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful! She thinks I should give her and my sister the money between them. My godmother explicitly advised that I use the money for bills (which are £900 a month including council tax and insurance) and to renovate the house as a builder quotes it might cost over £100k! I am only earning £21k annually so as you can imagine cannot afford to pay that on my own. I plan to rent out rooms to alleviate some of the costs but cannot do that until I renovate it. I decided to take my godmothers advice and renovate the home. Now my mum is suggesting I re-mortgage the house and give her and my sister £25k each. However, I don’t want the financial responsibility of mortgage payments and bills at my age and on my current salary. I suggested that in 2-3 years I might be in a better situation to do that, but she thinks I am being selfish, and this is causing issues between us.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I have inherited this house, because my family, my friends and people I meet that are my age are struggling and feel like everyone is judging me for getting the easy way out. Should I feel this way?

P.s. I am not a mum. But as this is a platform where family-oriented women share their stories I hope you won’t mind!

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 20/02/2020 12:45

hers not here

flirtygirl · 21/02/2020 12:03

To all the people who think the ex husband has been deprived. He may not have been as these things also depend on the length of the marriage.

Too much speculation on this thread as we have not been given those details.

Bringringbring · 21/02/2020 12:10

Irrespective of length of marriage and what the ex is entitled to...
Someone off loading assets during divorce or immediately preceding is not permitted

flirtygirl · 21/02/2020 12:11

Also its far better to gift items whilst young and 49 is not that young anyway.

More people should gift to those they love whilst alive instead of when dead. Help each other whilst living if you can afford to. Just make sure the Uht can be paid from the estate if that person dies within 7 years and that it has been gifted properly and legally.

I think too many older people sit on wealth when they could have helped their family members before their deaths. I will do the same if I am ever financially able to.

flirtygirl · 21/02/2020 12:13

Bringringbring
We don't know that that happened as the op has said the divorce is concluded and the ex accepted a payout/settlement.

We just know she the godmother is offloading the properties now.

Bringringbring · 21/02/2020 12:22

* she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything)*

Clever as day that was precisely her intention

Bringringbring · 21/02/2020 12:25

Clear

Bringringbring · 21/02/2020 12:26

I suspect the op adjusted the story when posters picked up on this

reginafelangee · 21/02/2020 12:27

You and she need to speak to a lawyer. If she is married it's very likely these are marital assets which she does not have the right to give away.

and this

Did your godmother get financial and legal advice before she gave you this gift? There may well be repercussions if she didn't - from the divorce courts or the tax authorities. I wouldn't spend or do a thing until or unless you are sure that she is covered legally and you know your tax liability if e.g. she dies in the next 7 years. Courts, for instance, do not at all tend to smile on the deliberate deprivation of assets by "gifting" them to friends or family members.

Absolutely get yourself some legal advice.

Your mother and sister are quite awful.

mummmy2017 · 21/02/2020 12:38

If your Godmother has as much money as your post suggests, I think you will find this is all legal.
Congratulations.

TheresWaldo · 21/02/2020 18:58

Why does it suggest it's legal Mummy? Yes she must be loaded if she's left an expensive London house to her GD, ignoring her ex and her own children, but the whole thing sounds dodgy to me.

mummmy2017 · 22/02/2020 09:18

Someone who has a property portfolio, and a divorce where they pay the ex, would not be stupid enough to do this unless it was legit.
Did you not read they were even setting aside money for repairs and taxes if needed.
They will have a trusted lawyer.

Blackbear19 · 22/02/2020 10:29

The lawyer will act on the givers behalf.
Op needs a lawyer to check there are no strings attached.
What happens if it's leasehold, been in the family for years and the lease is needing renewed, that could be a costly gift.
Is the giver putting any restrictions on sale of the property?

Op needs to check out what she is being given.

Dontdisturbmenow · 22/02/2020 10:51

I think too many older people sit on wealth when they could have helped their family members before their deaths. I will do the same if I am ever financially able to
In this case, the person is 49! She could live for another 50 years, even more! Some people manage to still be capable of living on their own quite happily in their 90s. A friend's great grand father is 102, lives alone (his wife passed away only 5 years ago around the same age), still takes the bus to go to different places more than 1 hour away, and still looks after his great great grandchild who is 4.

I think it is a very stupid thing to dispose of wealth at that age unless you are mega rich (in which case you don't have a house that needs intensive refurbishment). There is no reason to gift a healthy 20ish year old a house with no mortgage when it can be putting your future at risk.

User06 · 22/02/2020 10:52

Did your mum and sister not get anything?

They are being unfair. How hard for you 😩

flirtygirl · 22/02/2020 16:06

Don'tdisturbmenow maybe because I think nearly 50 is a decent age and I will not be living till I'm 80 let alone 90 or 100. God forbid. For me a life that long is far worse than death. Not everyone wants to live a long old age.

Also the op mentioned multiple properties so I doubt that the godmother has not also planned for her old age. She also still has other properties. If I was in a position I would gift it, as helping out someone earlier in their life is of more use than when they are 50, 60 or 70 years old.

Patchworkpatty · 22/02/2020 16:48

Could you possibly let your mum and sister live in the house with you ? Rent free... thereby saving them the biggest share of their monthly outgoings ?

lalafafa · 22/02/2020 17:15

what does your godmothers children think other giving you the house OP?

Cheeseandwin5 · 27/02/2020 09:14

@flirtygirl
To all the people who think the ex husband has been deprived. He may not have been as these things also depend on the length of the marriage.

I dont think ppl are saying that- they are saying the posibility exists and if it proves to be the case the OP may need to give the property (or its value) back to the estate.
I think it is probably wise to make sure of this fact and get it in writing, before the OP takes any further steps.

MrsWombat · 27/02/2020 10:33

Do not go into debt and get a mortgage to give money to your family. That's nuts! If you wanted to eventually save the money you would normally use on rent/mortgage and give some to your sister on her wedding or towards a house deposit etc that would be a lovely idea.

Fishcakey · 27/02/2020 10:36

Oh my god! Don't you dare get a mortgage to give them money! No no no! I
Won't let you!
Stay strong.

3luckystars · 27/02/2020 10:59

Stop telling people your private business.
They will be jealous and hate you and nothing you do will ever be enough. So accept your gift and keep your mouth shut about the cost of things, keep your head down and your business to yourself.
I hope your family can get over their jealousy, but u still they do you need to keep quiet and tell them nothing.

It's an unusual move for your aunt to openly favour a family member like this, did she know how much trouble it would cause?

Best wishes with your house. Accept it and stop discussing this with others. Good luck.

VanGoghsDog · 27/02/2020 12:39

It's not an aunt!!

3luckystars · 27/02/2020 13:34

Sorry, GODMOTHER.

I apologise.

VanGoghsDog · 27/02/2020 23:54

It does put a totally different spin on it though, so it is an important detail.