Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

My inhertiance is causing issues in the family

291 replies

eastendgirl234 · 19/02/2020 13:10

Even writing this post I feel embarrassed as I am perfectly aware that we live in a world of financial hardship. So please know, I am not trying to brag and I don’t want a pity party. I just want some advice from an unbiased third party.

So here goes… I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die but she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything). In addition, she gave me a large sum of money to renovate the house as it was built in the 40s and hasn’t been renovated since. As a 22-year-old girl, this is something I should be happy about. It means I can live mortgage free for the rest of my life. However, it has become an issue within my family and my relationships.

My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful! She thinks I should give her and my sister the money between them. My godmother explicitly advised that I use the money for bills (which are £900 a month including council tax and insurance) and to renovate the house as a builder quotes it might cost over £100k! I am only earning £21k annually so as you can imagine cannot afford to pay that on my own. I plan to rent out rooms to alleviate some of the costs but cannot do that until I renovate it. I decided to take my godmothers advice and renovate the home. Now my mum is suggesting I re-mortgage the house and give her and my sister £25k each. However, I don’t want the financial responsibility of mortgage payments and bills at my age and on my current salary. I suggested that in 2-3 years I might be in a better situation to do that, but she thinks I am being selfish, and this is causing issues between us.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I have inherited this house, because my family, my friends and people I meet that are my age are struggling and feel like everyone is judging me for getting the easy way out. Should I feel this way?

P.s. I am not a mum. But as this is a platform where family-oriented women share their stories I hope you won’t mind!

OP posts:
Headfull · 19/02/2020 13:30

I can see how they feel but I’d use the money as it was intended.

Also quite a few tax advisors will give a free initial meeting, set one up to make sure you understand future financial risks (such as those mentioned Re inheritance tax if she dies, and if there is any risk re care home fees etc which I’m not sure about ). if there is a risk you may need a mortgage anyway at some point in the future to pay potential liabilities.

Rainycloudyday · 19/02/2020 13:30

Your mum sounds awful to expect anything for herself.

However, unless there’s a massive back story I think what your godmother has done by giving you a life changing financial gift and ignoring your sibling, is appalling. She is stupid if she didn’t know full well that she was likely throwing a bomb under your relationship as sisters. How that kind of situation could ever not lead to resentment I don’t know.

ChainsawBear · 19/02/2020 13:30

In other words: unless you are totally sure you are covered legally, you may end up having to give back every bit of this, or pay a whacking chunk of it back to the ex or to HMRC. So absolutely don't take out any mortgages or make any big spends.

CalleighDoodle · 19/02/2020 13:31

Say no to your mother. Tinkly of course not, that would put me in a terrible position, right the way to just a firm and simple no.

And see a lawyer.

Headfull · 19/02/2020 13:31

(But I don’t think it’s dodgy from a tax point of view and I’d check but I’d assume she’s had legal advice re the divorce)

Rainycloudyday · 19/02/2020 13:31

If I were you I would be taking steps to share the benefit with my sister. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.

MissSueFlay · 19/02/2020 13:34

It's like the Goose that laid the Golden Egg isn't it - your mum (and your sister?) are seeing this in the short-term, leveraging debt for a lump sum, when it has the potential to be a lucrative asset well into the future if it remains mortgage free.

If you renovate it and then let it out, generating an ongoing income, might you have been inclined to share some of that with them on a regular basis if she hadn't been so grasping?

Does your sister know what your mother is asking of you?

pointtothetruth · 19/02/2020 13:35

So question.... if you won that value of money on the lottery would you share any of it with your Mum and Sister?

It's their choice how they react, it's your choice how you respond.

Be prepared for some family friction. Depends how important they are to you.

TooTrusting · 19/02/2020 13:35

I'm no legal expert but shes offloaded an asset to you prior to divorce. I'd make sure she has had legal advice before doing so

^this
Divorce lawyer here.

Have the financial aspects of the divorce been concluded? If yes, your godmother was lucky to get away with this and could have been forced to reverse the gift to you. It's called an "avoidance of disposition" order - such an order will be granted to rectify the position where one party has dissipated assets, with the intention of defeating the other’s claim.

Even if they have been finalised, if he finds out later that she divested herself of assets (which is non-disclosure because you have to disclose significant changes to your assets over the preceding 12 months) he could seek to re-open everything.

If the financial claims have not been finalised/dealt with, then your godmother can expect an avoidance of disposition injunction and order that the disposition is reversed (or that her assets are artificially increased by the value of the asset(s) she has given away).

VanGoghsDog · 19/02/2020 13:36

Is there a reason your godmother hasn't made any financial provision at all for your mother or sister? it seems a bit odd that she'd leave you what amounts to 100s of thousands of pounds.

What?

Since when did a godmother have to make "financial provision* for anyone, let alone relatives of their god child?

My godson is getting 5% of my estate in my will (assuming there is enough in my estate at the time), his mother and sibling are getting sod all.

She hasn't "left" it anyway, she gifted it.

olivejuicey · 19/02/2020 13:36

Is there a reason you have been gifted a house and a huge sum of money and your sister has not? I think if I was in your situation I would be thinking about how I could even things out a little as your sister must be feeling awful.

However it's been gifted to you so it's yours to do as you please and you may not be that close to your sister. At the end of the day its only money, and not money you were expecting. What would bring you more happiness in the long term, having the house and the money to yourself or sharing your good fortune? Do you think your sister would share with you if she was in your shoes? Would your mum?

Drum2018 · 19/02/2020 13:36

Just to clarify, you have been gifted a house and a large sum of money. You did not inherit it as your godmother is not dead. Your godmother chose to give you a very generous gift, and that has absolutely nothing to do with your mother or sister. Do not dream of mortgaging the property. You don't owe your mother or sister a penny. If your godmother wanted to give them a gift also, she could have, but she chose to give it all to you. Respect her decision, be grateful that you are set up in a home and if your mother and sister cannot get passed their own greediness then that is their problem.

SunshineCake · 19/02/2020 13:38

I've only read the OP but 100% say no to your mother and your sister. The words they have used mean in my book they deserve and will get nothing. If they had asked nicely, or suggested a loan, then maybe I would considering in but no, not with the horrible tone.

If your Godmother wanted them to have something she would have left them something.

Whynosnowyet · 19/02/2020 13:38

Did your dm not consider how gps worked? Who is dsis 's dgps?

Butterflyflower1234 · 19/02/2020 13:39

OP getting back to your OP, your DM and DS are not being fair to you. You need to explain that you want to honour your godmothers wishes and keep it at that.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 19/02/2020 13:41

Is there a reason you have been gifted a house and a huge sum of money and your sister has not?

Because the sister is not her god-daughter presumably.

pointtothetruth · 19/02/2020 13:41

And also please remember that as she is not dead, it's treated as capital gains which means you now owe the HMRC 40% of the value of the house plus the cash.

Bringringbring · 19/02/2020 13:41

Your godmother should have been penalised during her divorce for intentional deprivation of assets. Very surprised her ex partner’s solicitor didn’t pursue this

VanGoghsDog · 19/02/2020 13:41

Is there a reason you have been gifted a house and a huge sum of money and your sister has not?

Presumably she is not godmother to the sister as well. I'm not god mother to my god son's brother, so he's not in my will where godson is.

ElderAve · 19/02/2020 13:42

Your mother should be pleased that her DD has been so fortunate but as a mother, I would find it very difficult to see only one of my children received such good fortune, especially as a result of a decision I made (choosing the god parents).

I'm afraid I don't have a solution though. Really hard place to be.

Agree with others regarding the legal position of your godmother's gift. I don't know if it could be rescinded by the courts but in your position, I'd want to check.

Bringringbring · 19/02/2020 13:43

I really wouldn’t count on these gifts actually staying with you OP. By rights, they should be shared with the ex partner

Batqueen · 19/02/2020 13:43

Firstly don’t do anything until the divorce is concluded!

You do not want to spend money on an asset you may have to give back.

Once the divorce is concluded then I would agree with your plan to do up the house. Then and only then would I consider giving some of the rental income to your sister IF she acts reasonably towards you in the meantime. Your mum is being entirely unfair.

VanGoghsDog · 19/02/2020 13:43

please remember that as she is not dead, it's treated as capital gains which means you now owe the HMRC 40% of the value of the house plus the cash.

This is not true, a gift is not a capital gain, there is no tax on gifts (save as to inheritance tax, on the estate, if they fail the exempted gifts test when the doner dies within seven years)

HollowTalk · 19/02/2020 13:45

@pointtothetruth That is completely wrong advice.

icannotremember · 19/02/2020 13:48

How did your godmother get away with giving away her assets pre divorce?

You're not under any obligation to share the gifts with your family members, but there must be quite the back story as to why you don't want to.

Swipe left for the next trending thread