Aibu to want to spend this much on an engagement ring? (Honest advice please)

[Notsureiftheringistoomuch]

Hello, not sure if this is the best place to post this or not... have name changed anywho

Basically, I have an issue. Me and DP have been discussing engagement/marriage and we are pretty much on the same page for all budgeting aspects, both have the same idea of how much we want to spend on wedding/honeymoon etc. We both earn good money, not obscene amounts by any means but combined income of ~£80kish, both on similar salaries. Basically we are in a good position financially but we also dont go around splashing money for no reason on pointless things, eg we go on one relatively cheap holiday once per year, dont have a brand new car etc. Live within our means with a nice quality of life.

I always told DP I dont want a really expensive engagement ring as it's a waste of money. Would tell him when we were discussing, dont spend more than £1,000. We have been looking at rings and I'm dismayed to say I have fallen in love with a £2,000 ring. :-(

Aibu to really want this ring? It is like one of those moments when people say they found "the one" eg when referring to a wedding dress/house/whatever. I feel guilty thinking my DP may spend that much on a ring (as he likes it too) and cant stop thinking that I'm being ridiculous/greedy/etc. I worry a little if he does buy this ring I will spend ages feeling bad about it because of the cost. Also worried DP will now feel like he must buy that ring no matter what as any other ring will just be a disappointment. I do feel if he got another ring I would still be really happy, not as happy as if I got the £2,000 one obviously, but still happy. But I feel like he would constantly be thinking I'm pretending to be happy if he got a cheaper one.

Ultimately if everything goes to shit with our finances I dont care, I just want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him no matter how rich/poor we are. I just feel very bratty for feeling this way over a stupid ring ffs

Does any of this make sense and if so can anyone offer any advice?

Does it really matter if it's an 'investment' or 'losing value'?

It's a highly symbolic piece of jewellery that many women (barring those on MN who cringe at the idea) are planning to wear every day for the foreseeable future. So they should really like whatever they get.

Honestly, OP, buy the ring you like. Who cares if it's good enough 'value' for people on MN? Or whether it will date horribly, or whether some stranger in the internet thinks it's attractive, or whether you could get it cheaper by mining your own diamonds and taking up metalworking? If you like it, and you and your fiancé can afford it, then there's absolutely no controversy at all in buying what you want from the convenient location in which you have found it.

I agree, it’s absolutely irrelevant what the ongoing value is... I just got a bit irked at posters proclaiming that the ring they paid three grand for ten years ago is now worth twelve grand and what a fabulous investment it was.
But their delusions aren’t my business really 🤷🏻‍♀️

I guess so @74NewStreet. But (so long as they're not hoping for a big windfall because they're splitting up - in which case they're going to be disappointed) it's a fairly harmless delusion.

I wouldn't consider money spent on a fancy holiday to be wasted because there can be no financial return on it. Or a really fancy meal out. And an engagement ring is more that kind of thing. It doesn't matter if it's worth £5 or £5000 so long as you like wearing it. And presuming you can afford it, there's no need to justify it to anyone as an 'investment' or whatever.

Buy what you love! My engagement ring is a cluster from beaverbrooks....£600 in 2008, I picked a few from their window all cluster rings, I loved, loved it! Price wasn't a factor...he had final choice.

I have felt insecure over the years, as every other friend has a solitaire, however I had to remind myself I told my husband specifically not to buy me a solitaire 🙄As I like to be a bit different.

He has since bought me a 2k watch, and a 2.5k eternity ring.

Love the watch, eternity ring to big and scratchy! He can't win.

Buy what you love and can afford x

I think the best point made was the PP who pointed out that people spend as much on a week's holiday.

You could easily spend £2k on a sofa, a week in France, a painting, a set of garden furniture ffs.

If you have the money and that's the ring you want, well you are going to be the person looking at it every day so get it.

The ONLY reason not to get it would be if you were thinking of it as any kind of investment, because it very much wouldn't be. New ring, from somewhere like EJ, you could walk out of the shop and the very next day you'd be lucky to get a third of the price for it. It's not 'worth' that money, no.

But that's not what you're saying, so go for it.

I have a £20,000 ring that I have worn and loved for 14 years and had a £600 wedding dress from Berkatex. I’m really pleased with both purchases and don’t regret either for a moment. Get the £2,000 ring if you really love it.

Get it. You'll resent any other ring, and always wish you'd got the more expensive one.

Get it. You can afford it. You love it. Be happy and enjoy it x

Did you get it? If so you know the rules! Please share beautiful sparkly pictures!!

Buy the ring! Life is too damn short! Congratulations by the way! 💍

I’d also just say get it. I’m married 25 years, and I never take my rings off. If your marriage lasts, as I hope it will, you’ll be looking at it for ever more.

Buy it
Mine was £6k over 20 years ago
Wear it every day and that must work out at under £1 a day !
Still love it (and DH!) as much as ever x

I looked up the paperwork for mine. It was £3815 in 2014 - £2250 of that was the diamond I chose. It's valued at twice that for insurance purposes (as all jewellery would be).

If you can afford it go for it. Mine was more than that and I don't regret it at all, I wear it every day! But it depends what your finances are like...does it mean you then have less to spend on the wedding? Or honeymoon? Depends what your priorities are!