Going to lose all my benefits when DP moves in

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

DP and I have talked about him moving in next summer. But I've had a look on the entitled to website and I'll basically lose all my benefits if he moves in. At the moment I'm working part time on near minimum wage so my income is pitiful. At the moment about 1/3 of my total income comes from my salary, the rest is benefits and maintenance from my ex. He earns about 4x my salary. How on earth are we going to make this workable? I don't feel he should have to subsidise me, but I'm going to lose a lot of money.

Dont do it. You'll still be a single parent, just one with a live in boyfriend.
I think it's really unnatural, too, for single mums to move in a boyfriend and for that boyfriend to then be expected to provide childcare as if it's his own child. Too risky imo.
Stay as you are until the kids are old enough to not need childcare, don't risk your stability for the sake of 'love'. There's only one person gains in those situations and it sure as hell aint the woman.
Most cases of benefit fraud involve women moving a man in and not declaring, it's easy to see how it happens, women scared to give up dependence on the state. Not saying OP would at all but the disadvantage women face as sole carers with a move in partner means it will happen.

@PencilsInSpace

If childcare is really £12 per hour why not become a childminder and care for a couple of kids, That way you will be earning £24 per hour.
If he moves in with you he should contribute half of all bills. He will become your family.

You should still get maintenance from ex partner towards kids though.

My second husband took on my children when we moved in together a year before getting married. He has always provided for them financially and now they are grown up they see him as a Dad figure. It was a case of love me love my kids because I would never leave them. One of my kids also had ADHD so no picnic for new partner. It showed how much he loved me.

I think expecting him to provide regular childcare isn't an acceptable option.

Why would he want to be stuck in with the kids on such a fixed basis...not a one off.

Quite frankly...I'd feel used and that you were being a CF if it was suggested to me as the partner moving in.

Someone upthread mentioned ppl being jealous of those on benefits.. I really don't get that.

Sorry, to clarify childcare is £12 an hour for both my DCs. But to be honest I'd rather sew my vagina shut than be a childminder-I love my boys but I'm not that keen on other children.

I don't think asking DP to look after the kids is unreasonable-DP is a runner and often goes off for a long run at weekends, when I look after his daughter. And I imagine I'll be doing some of the after school care for her when they move in.

I've agreed to up my hours to 28.5 from next month. But it's only worth it if I get WTC to cover most of the extra childcare costs. Obviously I'll lose WTC next year when DP moves in so we'll need to discuss this too.

Do you trust him round your kids though op? Regularly, unsupervised? Just because you love him doesn't mean it's right for them. As it is you're all secure. You're risking all of that, is it really worth it when you could stay in separate houses and the kids carry on as they are for a few years? I'd be very wary of having any new partner around my kids beyond the odd day out or evening at home. There's the rest of your life for partnership.

"I'd rather sew my vagina shut than be a childminder"

Just picking up on this paragraph from @MonkeyToesOfDoom

"Yeah, up to a percentage and it's paid in arrears, which means people on UC have to pay the first month's child care to claim back a portion of it the following month.
So, someone who's claimed benefits and just managed to scrape by but has £0 has to find £500 for a months child care to claim back £300 the month later.. clever..
No rent, food or bill payments that month, Ned it for child care and travelling"

I believe that a budgeting loan or possibly the Flexible Support Fund can be used for initial childcare costs if the customer is starting work.

dontdoxmeeither

Budgeting loans aren't really available on UC, to can get an advance payment after you claim, I had to get one after they made a mistake and I had to pay it back at £70 a month for a year.
You can get a hardship loan, if you have been sanctioned and can't afford to eat etc.
As for the flexible support fund, that is purely at the discretion of your job coach. If your job coach is slightly out of touch with actual costs of actual life you're pretty much screwed.

Mine sent me on a course once, promised to pay for my travel expense,
"So how much is the bus to town? About a £1?" She asks,
"£6.45 return" I reply,
"Oh really? Well I've never had to catch a bus so I don't know" said with a small, very Mumsnetty, tinkly laugh.
(Not that I could get the bus, it didn't run at the right time, I had to get a taxi but they wouldn't pay for as taxi and if I didn't go on the course I'd lose my rent, my food, my roof... £25 in taxi fares, £6.45 paid back. Was pasta for tea lots that week.)

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

I'm an ex work coach Budgeting loans are absolutely available for this example. The only exception would be if the customer hadn't been claiming a qualifying benefit for six months or, has already had one and is still repaying.

I agree with some work coaches being out of touch ime. I only worked there for three years and bussed it in so I was (I would like to think!) more "in touch" with reality

I believe that a budgeting loan or possibly the Flexible Support Fund can be used for initial childcare costs if the customer is starting work.

There's no budgeting loan on UC. You can apply for only an advance on your entitlement, that is, your entitlement, not in addition to it, and, as stated, you will be set an amount to be deducted from your future UC payments to pay it back. And, what Monkey said about Flexible Support Fund. UC is quite punitive when it comes to people who have no savings or access to credit/money.

OralB
There is. It's called a budgeting advance.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/on-universal-credit/budgeting-advance/

Yes, Emma, and advance, on your entitlement, clawed back from your entitlement, not in addition to your entitlement.

Legacy budgeting loans were repayable. Just like an advance.

Yes, the loans were repayable, but the terms were usually softer than they are on UC.

You can't get a budgeting loan on UC, they're called a budgeting advance.

Criteria for which mentions no childcare, though you could assume it falls under the secondary bullet point.

Yes, I said budgeting loan instead of advance. Still both repayable (every month out of UC payment). There is also the possibility of advance repayments being deferred for a short period. This decision is made by the service centre (as opposed to JCP staff).

It is possible to issue a budgeting advance to use for childcare/travel to work when starting a new job. We did this regularly in our office, however (disclaimer alert!) sometimes decisions like this are discretionary and authorised as a local office/district policy. Obviously this can vary office/district to office/district

In your circumstances and particularly having had your experiences OP, I would not move a partner in.

So DP made a bit of a slip up at the weekend when he was talking and mentioned something about engagement rings before rapidly changing the subject. If we were to get married would that change any of the advice given?

Don't marry someone you've been seeing for a few months when you've got young kids !

Sarahlou63

Of course it's her money, who's do you think it is?
Or are tax credits not the person's they get paid too either? Or the pensioners?
And if it's based solely on the fact it's from.general taxation, that includes NHs staff, MPs, police, firemen etc etc.
Oh but I'm guessing in your tiny mind it's different when someone's working and getting a bit of extra instead of someone getting £80k of tax payer money like the MPs.