Based on our salary can we afford a child ?

[Fitness247]

I live in Scotland with my partner of 6 years in a 1 bed council flat in the city centre, I’m nearly 30, partners 35 and we’re thinking of having a child but I’m worried about finances.

I work in the healthcare/care sector getting £16k partner is on £17k so pretty low salaries but our city/lifestyle is very cheap. When we have a child I would work p/t as obviously childcare would cost more then my salary so not worth it. We are able to buy our flat then in 5 years we can sell it and buy a 2-3 bed flat/house in cash due to council discount. My family are able to help for childcare if I work part time.

I can try to increase my salary but that’s not guaranteed in my sector as it’s badly paid even at manager level but obviously will try to get better pay in the future.

I’ve done the sums and this is the result: salary per month = £2,300 (roughly)

Rent/or mortgage = £300
Water/gas etc = £250
Cars x 2 (if I have too can manage 1 car) = £500
Phones/gym (gym not nes.) = £80
Food = £280
Misc. (clothes, shamp, baby stuff etc.) = £100
Savings = £50
Child support for 1 child in previous rel. (4 more years) = £400
Sending money home (parents/sister in partners home country in Africa - not negotiable) = about £200 sometimes more/less
Social / going out = £280

I grew up pretty poor and while I’m okay with not being rich I hate the thought of barely scrapping by each month and not being able to afford even going out for dinner. The biggest problem is my partners culture ! He came as a migrant and has to help his parents + sisters/brothers who live in a poor village in Africa and also visits them for 1 - 2 months a year. Makes things very hard financially.

But I love him obviously and don’t expect him to leave his family to possibly die as they’d have no income but is having a child going to be too difficult? Everyone poor and rich seem to manage I just wonder how !

What’d you guys think 🤔?

OP grow up, just because you pay into a system via taxes doesn’t mean you should claim.

I’m calling bullshit on a lot of what you’re saying.

It's all bullshit what's she's spouting

Sonly / emery - honestly just go away and spread your crap elsewhere if I’m lying for no reason then why are you even responding ? It’s not up to you how anyone spends their own money or even benefits okay ? If you don’t like our system go live in another country. Jesus some people are crazy 😝 but thanks everyone else who helped!

How is right to buy still a thing when there is such a social housing crisis?

Whirlie - I don’t know, ask the Tories/labour ? That isn’t what this thread is about / is off topic.

Lots of threads would be exceptionally short if only 100% on topic discussions were allowed.

I don't think it should be allowed especially at less than half the price as you say and them will make a massive profit on it and sell it on at a much higher price.

Which local authority are you in?

Who knows might be Scotland might be England

I am entitled to my opinion, if you don’t like it I couldn’t care less.

What you are proposing to do is not right and your story has more holes than Swiss cheese.

One day 99% of the country or more will be on benefits when automation kicks in and everything's done by robots. Just saying.

Whirle - isn’t right by who ? You don’t like right to buy? Oh well I do like it. I don’t like brexit and I think the uk need to accept more refugees but that’s my opinion and you don’t see me winge about it as soon as anyone talks about another topic. Right to buy is well my right and if you don’t like it, leave the country not my problem. Why keep mentioning it? I get your opinion I and others disagree. Now what ? I’m in the north east I’m obviously not going to tell you excatly where on the internet. Again for the last time - right to buy + how I spend my own salary + the state of benefits is none of your business if you don’t like it, you’ve said it now move on.

Phew you really don’t wanna let your own policy issues to bed huh ?

Fun - haha yeah that’s probably true ! People will still whinge tho

I'm a little unclear on why all the vitriol at the OP, so will take her posts at face value

Ultimately as others have said it's entirely possible to have a child and live frugally. I do think you need to research some more on your plans and consider if buying is the best option for you , buying property is not the be all and end all

I think there is a massive difference in terms of culture in that for me sending money isn't the norm but I entirely understand that it's necessary and have several friends who do it .... OP not everyone has that scenario or supports family financially so some will not understand

Gym membership and socialising will need to come down heavily at the very least save some back up so you have a fund to go to if needed

Babies actually don't need a lot but when you are close to the bone as I have been with my two DC on occasion I've been two days before pay day ,lots of food in the house but then one needed to go to hospital and silly things like extra petrol and parking charges for the car park suddenly put me in a horrendous situation...so always have an emergency fund because you never know what will happen

Also allow for things at their worst to cover yourself....i didn't foresee PND and one of the few things that helped was getting out of the house with the baby for a trip to the supermarket ...that was money we hadn't allowed for

When you are close to the bone it all adds up,or special formula when my breastfeeding failed

I am in a much more financially fortunate position now but it was very close when the DC were new born and frankly it was very hard

Sonly - still not over it? So childish I hope you don’t have kids because you sound really immature. Now like I said thanks and bye 👋!!

Getting back - me either some people just love to bitch I’ve said nothing even slightly controversial but apparently some people have a problem with my boyfriend helping his parents not die (!!) and that I moved to England from Scotland (oh no) and now right to buy is wrong ? Anyway thanks for your advice I appreciate (non bitchy) advice !

I've three kids who are all working hard to pay for some family abroad, brilliant

Sonly - then stop acting like a teenager in the play ground. In all seriousness, you think I’m lying due to saying I moved to England from Scotland okay fine, if you have no helpful advice why are you here? What an odd hill to die on.

OP, what job does your DH have? Is there any chance of a promotion/change of career in the near future?

Pick - he works in a kitchen, thinking if doing taxi but wages are pretty much sane so unlikely unless he got his own business which costs a lot

Out of £2300, you’d be estimating on spending nearly a third of it on cars and socialising. That’s insane. Seriously, you’d have a decent quality of life if you reviewed that.

Both of you work in jobs that are very common to have shiftwork - kitchens, and healthcare.

So, keep working and base your childcare arrangements around a combination of:

• your local mother who you said would give you childcare for free
• mother and father covering days between them (if he’s not suited to some childcare, don’t FGS have a baby with him!)
• minimal nursery / childminder (I’m trying to hold back on your “morally personally to me I won’t have someone else bring up my child” crap Adding “personally to me” still sounds pretty bloody judgmental to those of us who did pay for childcare!

I’m absolutely against RTB, but you didn’t bring it the ridiculous policy, and I don’t blame you for taking advantage of it.

I have no issue with your boyfriend sending money to his family. Even if you get RTB and benefits.

I have a big issue of his lost wages (£1K) plus flight costs (minimum £500?) every year if you’re going to have a baby. Plus, “morally personally to me” a father shouldn’t do that if he doesn’t have to. So his mum will cry? Let her cry. He wants another baby, he can’t keep doing that.

And £500 a month on 2 cars is just ridiculous. One missed trip to his birth country and you’ve paid for a car and insurance for a year outright.

You can easily afford to have a baby - if you (and HE) make the right choices.