Based on our salary can we afford a child ?

[Fitness247]

I live in Scotland with my partner of 6 years in a 1 bed council flat in the city centre, I’m nearly 30, partners 35 and we’re thinking of having a child but I’m worried about finances.

I work in the healthcare/care sector getting £16k partner is on £17k so pretty low salaries but our city/lifestyle is very cheap. When we have a child I would work p/t as obviously childcare would cost more then my salary so not worth it. We are able to buy our flat then in 5 years we can sell it and buy a 2-3 bed flat/house in cash due to council discount. My family are able to help for childcare if I work part time.

I can try to increase my salary but that’s not guaranteed in my sector as it’s badly paid even at manager level but obviously will try to get better pay in the future.

I’ve done the sums and this is the result: salary per month = £2,300 (roughly)

Rent/or mortgage = £300
Water/gas etc = £250
Cars x 2 (if I have too can manage 1 car) = £500
Phones/gym (gym not nes.) = £80
Food = £280
Misc. (clothes, shamp, baby stuff etc.) = £100
Savings = £50
Child support for 1 child in previous rel. (4 more years) = £400
Sending money home (parents/sister in partners home country in Africa - not negotiable) = about £200 sometimes more/less
Social / going out = £280

I grew up pretty poor and while I’m okay with not being rich I hate the thought of barely scrapping by each month and not being able to afford even going out for dinner. The biggest problem is my partners culture ! He came as a migrant and has to help his parents + sisters/brothers who live in a poor village in Africa and also visits them for 1 - 2 months a year. Makes things very hard financially.

But I love him obviously and don’t expect him to leave his family to possibly die as they’d have no income but is having a child going to be too difficult? Everyone poor and rich seem to manage I just wonder how !

What’d you guys think 🤔?

Yes easily. If you take away money spent on going out and gym money, plus money sent abroad and a seemingly high amount of maintenance you will have plenty left!

Sleep - you could’ve just asked instead of assuming I’m lying for some stupid reason.

Yeah, about £20 - £25k like I said it’s rough but very cheap which is the point.

Jam - thanks for your post. We can definitely cut down on gym and car but not sending money abroad

I think you should hope it's more than £25k as anything less and the banks won't give you a mortgage, you'd have to try and use personal loans credit cards etc. Or at least that was how it was a few years ago, due to £25k being the cut off for consumer debt protection. You really should look into all this before you get set on buying the flat at a discount.

Nice one OP

Can I report you for being excessively economic with the truth?

I was trying to give you some helpful advice to begin with until you started backtracking and making stuff up.

Buy your flat, have a baby, send money to Africa, live in Scotland, live in England - do whatever you like.

Can you do your sums again, but without your income, without one of the cars, without the gym, without social, and add in child benefit? Then see if you can make it work?

Babies aren't as expensive as people make them out to be, sure you can spend crazy amounts if you want to but you don't have to. You can get a pram/stroller for £50 and it will do the job. You don't have to get the one that's £1500 from Mothercare. Baby clothes from Primark are very cheap, get a size up and you don't have to buy as much. I find shirts for £1 each there, vests are in packs and generally £1 each. You can cloth diaper if you can't afford disposables. I have found brand new ones for about £2.50 each online just now (I use disposables but again, you don't have to). I think ikea sells a high chair for £14 and a cot for £59, add a mattress £25, sheets £5-10, and you can do the "nursery" for less than £200. You could also check with friends/other mums/thrift stores for things like clothes and whatnot, plenty of people have lots to pass on. You need a car seat, but you can find sales for these all the time. Mothercare has an infant one now marked down from £70 to £35. If you breastfeed, it's free.

Gush some people are quite rude on here!
Op - I believe that it can be done. There are lots of websites and apps where you can buy second hand items for the baby which will greatly reduce costs.

My only concern is the frequent visits to Africa by your dh. If he reduces this to semi annually, this will pump in a lot of extra cash into your pockets. Surely he doesn't have to see his parents so often? It's quite worrying to me that your dh has to go back to Africa every month or two ?!! I'd be a bit concerned to be honest.

Ham - yes we will definitely look further into this

Cherry - he goes to Africa once a year for 1 month not every month haha that’d definitely be way too much ! I’m hoping he will reduce his costs once every 2 years but we’ll see

If you are in a council house it means the state is already having to support you so my answer would hsve to be no, you can't afford it. Child benefit should be there for if a family already with kids falls on hard times. Not for people to knowingly start a family when they don't have the money.

Star zig - that’s not true, you could say the same of old people getting state pensions, or anyone using the nhs as the state supporting them. Please take your snobby about council housing when we are entitled to it and both work. And you don’t understand what child benefit is. Bye.

I really don’t know any Africans who visit yearly, it’s unusual unless they are wealthy.
Does he have another wife there?

Why would it be the same as getting old. You don't choose to age. You choose to have a child. Also have absolutely nothing against council housing godsend for a lot that fall on hard times. But your question was about whether you could afford a child in your circumstances.

you mentioned your family can provide childcare if Work PT, do they live in the area in NEvthat you moved in with your boyfriend it are they in Sco?

Child benefit should be there for if a family already with kids falls on hard times. Not for people to knowingly start a family when they don't have the money.
@starzig I think you need to look up what Child Benefit is

Please tell me Lynette because I was under the impression it was money you got from the government for having a child

Oh man so many typos from me - tired after feeding frenzy night with my baby, need tea!

Fission - let’s hope not !

Starzig - well half of the population couldn’t afford kids then, we soon to have our own property, work in healthcare which is very important to soecity, at times I’ve had to be on WTC bcos employers don’t pay enough for a very important role which is wrong but not to on my part for sure.

Anyway who said anything about benefits ? I’d be working and only entitled to child benefit which ALL families get even rich ones, and possibly WTC as employers are greedy and don’t pay living wages so where you getting the information that I’m so poor now unemployed looking for benefits isn’t true.

No one even those earning huge bucks never know what could happen to their jobs/houses do should they not have kids just in case ?

This is - my family live in England in the city I live in now, in fact my mums a 20 min walk away and she doesn’t work so has plenty of time

Lynette - I’m trying to not rely on child benefit etc but unless we both work full time and not even see our child could we really 100% afford everything, including cars, holidays buying houses etc but obviously that’s bad for the child so we’d just cut our cloth according to our situation like others do I guess.

Why I really asked for advice is from what I’ve seen, some parents have low income jobs (teachers, carers etc.) mother p/t or sahm and they have nice lives - cars, a holiday or 2, decent house, lots of days out then I see what I call rich parents who earn £50 - £100k plus a year who always have no money, they just not good at spending I guess.

I think that if you can afford to send £200 out of the country it is immoral to take benefits from the country

Also, how does ex support herself? You say she doesn't get housing benefit and doesn't work but then you said she’s not worked since he was born, has 2 bed council flat, nice tv etc as well as £400 cash from my boyfriend. Anyway that’s another story !!

Oh don't upset her atlantea she'll call you allsorts, and FYI rich people don't get family allowance

I wouldn’t rely on family help. Work out childcare based on having to pay for it incase they are poorly/can’t cope etc. If you get it then it’s a bonus.

Look into the childcare hours from the government (if you get the same in Scotland).

Not everyone does get child benefit op.