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Original poster

Based on our salary can we afford a child ?

222 replies

Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 20:06

I live in Scotland with my partner of 6 years in a 1 bed council flat in the city centre, I’m nearly 30, partners 35 and we’re thinking of having a child but I’m worried about finances.

I work in the healthcare/care sector getting £16k partner is on £17k so pretty low salaries but our city/lifestyle is very cheap. When we have a child I would work p/t as obviously childcare would cost more then my salary so not worth it. We are able to buy our flat then in 5 years we can sell it and buy a 2-3 bed flat/house in cash due to council discount. My family are able to help for childcare if I work part time.

I can try to increase my salary but that’s not guaranteed in my sector as it’s badly paid even at manager level but obviously will try to get better pay in the future.

I’ve done the sums and this is the result: salary per month = £2,300 (roughly)

Rent/or mortgage = £300
Water/gas etc = £250
Cars x 2 (if I have too can manage 1 car) = £500
Phones/gym (gym not nes.) = £80
Food = £280
Misc. (clothes, shamp, baby stuff etc.) = £100
Savings = £50
Child support for 1 child in previous rel. (4 more years) = £400
Sending money home (parents/sister in partners home country in Africa - not negotiable) = about £200 sometimes more/less
Social / going out = £280

I grew up pretty poor and while I’m okay with not being rich I hate the thought of barely scrapping by each month and not being able to afford even going out for dinner. The biggest problem is my partners culture ! He came as a migrant and has to help his parents + sisters/brothers who live in a poor village in Africa and also visits them for 1 - 2 months a year. Makes things very hard financially.

But I love him obviously and don’t expect him to leave his family to possibly die as they’d have no income but is having a child going to be too difficult? Everyone poor and rich seem to manage I just wonder how !

What’d you guys think 🤔?

OP posts:
mylurcheristhebest · 14/07/2018 22:08

Where is this area that you can get 1 bed flats for £50k?

I live in a deprived area and you can't get a flat anywhere near that

crimsonlake · 14/07/2018 22:09

My ex was a high earner and I was getting just over that through the CMS for 2 children?

Wildlingofthewest · 14/07/2018 22:09

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:11

Sonly - we will spend our money on what we like, benefits are for what you see fit, that can be food, rent or in this case family who would die without their sons support. If you don’t like benefits being spent on something you personally don’t approve of then write to the PM ? Dictating to others what they should spend child benefits / WTC / pensions (which is the biggest welfare spending) on is not how our country works.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:12

My luirch - when the council told us I couldn’t believe it either ! I thought it was impossible but I guess we’re just very lucky. I live in the north east so maybe that’s why?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:15

Crimson - yeah I agree it’s too much but what can I do ? He says he wants to give his child the life he never had and although his mum is greedy wanting him to pay more she does look after him well/spend the money on him so he doesn’t want to stop now. I’m impressed he can pay and support that many people on a low salary tbh

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 14/07/2018 22:16

But how does it make me racist?

youknowwherethecityis · 14/07/2018 22:19

Is the flat definitely big enough for you to have a baby in?
If you're planning on staying there for 5 years you might find it difficult and obviously you have to keep the place for so long if you have a right to buy discount.

Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:19

Sonly - okay I take it back you’re not racist just very ignorant on how our country works, and shouldn’t think your personal opinion on the welfare state should dictate government policy. Better ?

OP posts:
twattymctwatterson · 14/07/2018 22:19

Who forgets what country they live in?

Bitchywaitress · 14/07/2018 22:21

Wildling, I've reported your post. Really nasty, have you been drinking?

Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:22

Youknow - yeah it’s a 1 bed flat we could possibly turn it into a 2 bed for a few years as we have a walk in closet but irk if it’s be big enough.

That’s why I think we should buy just before baby then by the time it’s 5 years old we can move into a bigger place. The only way we could ever get on the property ladder is to buy this flat otherwise it’s be impossible so we’d just have to make do for 5 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:23

Twatty - not this again !

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:24

Bitchy waitress- honestly there’s alway one really aggressive, rude person in an advice forum so strange. What are they going though to have to take out their anger on internet strangers ?!

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 14/07/2018 22:24

Fitness I don't think you're ready for a baby yet, perhaps you should grow up first

Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:31

Sonly - yeah you’ve said but no explanation why? You are the one telling others your opinion on the benefit system which has no relevance to this post, which I think is immature next time please keep your welfare ramblings to yourself. Thanks and bye.?

OP posts:
Bitchywaitress · 14/07/2018 22:36

Fitness it's 22.30 on a Saturday night. Probably one of those women that gets really nasty when she's had too much Pinot Grigio.

Isn't the advice pretty much always to buy the house before having babies for the easiest possible time? If you own what happens if the boiler breaks down or similar, you can't just call the council.

I assume you aren't pushing it in terms of fertility (and your DP obviously doesn't have issues) so why not wait?

Wildlingofthewest · 14/07/2018 22:38

Nope not been drinking.

I’m not aggressive. I just don’t tolerate blatant lies and people who make up or exaggerate on threads like this - especially as I was trying to give practical advice to begin with.

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/07/2018 22:39

Op it takes many many years to build up a 50% discount so you won’t get that much.
You are right that the discount is the deposit.
You need to pay child support until after end of year 13 so could be nearly 19 if autumn born dependant.

Wildlingofthewest · 14/07/2018 22:39

If I was going to drink it would be a decent wine, so that rules Pinot out the window

Your likely an Echo Falls drinker...

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/07/2018 22:41

Have you been on the wine Wliding?

Wildlingofthewest · 14/07/2018 22:42

As I’ve already said, no.
Have you?

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/07/2018 22:42

Never mind missed your pp thought you were on the wrong thread.

Original poster
Fitness247 · 14/07/2018 22:43

Bitchy waitress - haha yeah that’s true.

Well since we can’t sell the flat before 5 years and it’s only a 1 bed, then I thought we should buy it just before having a child, then sell after 5 years.

If we waited we can get up to 70% discount but it’s such a small flat to stay in longer. But yeah if we bought it now we don’t have much money for boiler break downs etc.

I am planing on waiting 2 years to get some savings first.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 14/07/2018 22:44

You won’t get 50% op