Based on our salary can we afford a child ?

[Fitness247]

I live in Scotland with my partner of 6 years in a 1 bed council flat in the city centre, I’m nearly 30, partners 35 and we’re thinking of having a child but I’m worried about finances.

I work in the healthcare/care sector getting £16k partner is on £17k so pretty low salaries but our city/lifestyle is very cheap. When we have a child I would work p/t as obviously childcare would cost more then my salary so not worth it. We are able to buy our flat then in 5 years we can sell it and buy a 2-3 bed flat/house in cash due to council discount. My family are able to help for childcare if I work part time.

I can try to increase my salary but that’s not guaranteed in my sector as it’s badly paid even at manager level but obviously will try to get better pay in the future.

I’ve done the sums and this is the result: salary per month = £2,300 (roughly)

Rent/or mortgage = £300
Water/gas etc = £250
Cars x 2 (if I have too can manage 1 car) = £500
Phones/gym (gym not nes.) = £80
Food = £280
Misc. (clothes, shamp, baby stuff etc.) = £100
Savings = £50
Child support for 1 child in previous rel. (4 more years) = £400
Sending money home (parents/sister in partners home country in Africa - not negotiable) = about £200 sometimes more/less
Social / going out = £280

I grew up pretty poor and while I’m okay with not being rich I hate the thought of barely scrapping by each month and not being able to afford even going out for dinner. The biggest problem is my partners culture ! He came as a migrant and has to help his parents + sisters/brothers who live in a poor village in Africa and also visits them for 1 - 2 months a year. Makes things very hard financially.

But I love him obviously and don’t expect him to leave his family to possibly die as they’d have no income but is having a child going to be too difficult? Everyone poor and rich seem to manage I just wonder how !

What’d you guys think 🤔?

My dc - I remember reading that it’s 50% after 5 years living in the property and it’s been 6 years now. I’ll obv. Double check with council.

Hm kids stay in school until 18 now don’t they. I suppose he could lesson the amount after 16 as it’s already way to much in my opinion as he earns so little and his child can get a part time job if he needs more when he’s old enough.

Thanks for your reply

DC - are you sure ? I just went on the government right to buy website and used their calculator and it said 52% discount

How can it be six year if you have only just moved from Scotland?

Anyway it’s 35% for five years then 1% a year so 36% for your “ six years”.

@Fitness247 who sounds jealous of you buying ?
Me ? I can assure you that isn't the case darling, I already own 4 houses 👍

I didn’t mean I moved very recently, I moved 5 years ago into my boyfriends council flat where he already had it for a year so altogether it’s been 6 years

Yes £400 is a lot for the salary.

MyDV - we had an informal chat with the council and they told us it’d be 50% discount but I’ll definitely double check it again, thanks for your replies

Sorry op you are right it’s different for flats than houses.

MyDC - I know it’s almost a salary. I hate to sound like a daily mail article and I’m sure it’s hard being a single mum but she’s not worked since he was born, has 2 bed council flat, nice tv etc as well as £400 cash from my boyfriend. Anyway that’s another story !!

MyDC - no probs thanks for your help

Zen - yeah sure, why the bitchy attitude? Such an odd thread where I’ve said nothing controversial or rude yet some posters are getting their knickers in a twist over something they can’t even articulate. Odd.

Even putting aside forgetting which country you live in

You say that you grew up poor.
Then that your parents earned £50k a year
Which isn't growing up poor

But they didn't even give you a fiver when you were an adult.
But you might be able to borrow £20k from them.

And that 50% of 50 is £20k

Wtf

@Fitness247 I said I thought buying council property cheaply to sell on for profit is wrong

You accused me of being of jealous which I'm not - no bitchy attitude from me

Comedy gold
OP who can afford to have a baby?? You'll live to your means. You won't end up homeless because you cant pay your rent....you'll just spend less on supermarket shopping because you have bills to pay....stop sweating it.
But please just think about how ready for this you are....to lay all your finances out on a chat forum and then defend every last error like you have to is just not the way to do it. If you and your dp cannot decide between you if you can or can't afford it....then you're going to find parenting quite a test. A test which I think you'll really struggle with. You two need a decent foundation.
How old are you?

Sleep - my parents earn £50k now, who said they always had a great salary ? Your making assumptions. I did grow up poor, my dad working in a pork factory then when I was 18 he started earning good money.

If you bothered to read my posts I said my Brother offered to lend me £20k who is very rich not my parents but don’t let that get in the way of your ill informed post. Read what I said.

Honestly you’ll have to get over the fact I said Scotland instead of England it’s so stupid as I used to live there. Why the big deal ?

No my parents didn’t give me any money past 16, I worked, studied, lived abroad all without any financial help.

I already said our flats not been valued so I’m guessing £50k based on similar flats next to me, very probably less though so £25k total is about right with 50% discount.

Jeez if you just read what I said I wouldn’t have to explain it a million times!

Zen - okay that’s your opinion, I disagree I think it’s a good thing as it allows people who could never afford a property to get on the housing ladder but I do believe governments should build more to replace them.

See? We agree.

Just - yeah I know I won’t be homeless just looking for opinions from people who’ve been through this.

huh? My partner can decide he’s with me. I don’t know what you mean, he thinks we can easily afford it it’s me whose super careful. Well I’m actually at work on my break so I have time to reply to every post

I’m nearly 30 so don’t want to wait too long.

In my experience people who use your when they mean you're are normally Pinot Grigio drinkers. People who use UR are almost all Echo Falls drinkers. Terribly sorry if I got you wrong there!

Jesus so many dicks posting tonight! Wilding I reported your posts for being excessively rude.

mylurcheristhebest no need to be disingenuous about 50 K 1 bed flats Bradford has quite a lot for example

Sleep RTFT properly

Sorry I don’t really have anything useful to add but I’m sure you can make it work. One thing I’d say is try not to give up work because childcare ‘costs more than your salary so isn’t worth it.’ It’s temporary and you may be able to progress a lot easier without being out of the workforce for an extended period+ pension benefits. Good luck!

Jim jam - thank you for your post ! I definitely won’t completely give up work ideally I’ll go part time then back to full time. Independence is important.

I think you can do it. Life is never going to be perfect before having a baby, but having a baby isn't just about finances it's also about timing. Your partner is 35, and if you try for a few months he'll be 36-37 when the baby is born. He'll be 40 when the baby is 3-4 and running circles around you both. Middle age will start to come on and problems with joints start creeping in. It will be physically more exhausting the more you wait.

I think start saving and trying now. Cut the gym membership (you can keep active freely with walks, runs, and lifting stuff around the house), cut one of the cars (you live in the city centre and should try carpooling/dropping each other off at work), and cut the budget for socialising (choose to go to free events or go to parks/fields, have picnics, do things that won't cost you).

Fun - thanks for your reply, I’m quite wary of him getting older and more tired. As soon as we’ve decided when we’ll have a baby I’ll definitely cut down on expenses I’m pretty good at doing things cheaply, I just don’t want to struggle so much when the baby’s born as my earning power decreases and my partner has so many dependants it’ll be hard for him also.

You've lived in a flat in England for 6 years but still forget and say you live in Scotland? Strange!

"My parents taught us to be independent and we didn’t get £5 since we turned 16 and we all worked and went to uni AND they had over £50k salary" - note had = the past. Have = now. You now say this is only since you turned 18, but given your were talking in the past tense about your childhood, and we aren't mind readers, how are we to know his income suddenly changed when you reached 18

"flat next door which is a 2 bed sold for £60 and ours is a 1 bed so it’ll actually probably be less then £50k full price then we get 50% discount =. £20k" 50% of 50 is £25k not £20k. Just saying...