Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

Ahhhh, payday, how I love you!

I've had the exact same thoughts about summer and Christmas Kinks. Jan-June is definitely my healthier financial time.

Yes pay day! And I got my AQA money today as well. Not touching any if it though as waiting for blink in' CTC to get back to me. If all is well (double fingers crossed) and I don't owe them any money I will be able to pay off one CC completely (the smallest one at £170 - but it will be a good feeling) and have £100 to put into other account as a buffer.

Isn't the weather just lush? My DS learnt to ride his bike without stabilisers yesterday morning and the we spent all afternoon in the garden with the paddling pool. We were at the park early this morning too as DS has the bike bug. All good free fun.

I'm thinking about going to see the giant puppets in Liverpool tomorrow (I live on the Wirral) but they're saying on the radio that it will be chaos - which is a shame as I missed it last tins too. I just think it round be too much for my two year old.

Have a lovely yet parsimonious day everyone x x

PS yes - summer holidays and Christmas are a killer usually. There's no getting away from them but I'm determined to be more controlled than I usually am.

Well done for eBay Pixie - I've never quite had the nerve x

Hey all I've missed a few days as I have been in hospital for tests since Tuesday, got out yesterday evening.

Am about to go to the summer school (Sunday morning) that lasts 2 weeks, and am just getting ready. I have a talk to write with ppt to make tonight (DH will help, he's a whizz on the PC!) and also a few bits of toiletries etc to buy.

Nothing major though.

Should have some new debt numbers when DH gets paid on 31st, I won't be contributing much to the debt reduction fund as I overspent so grossly last month, but my summer school pay will go off it and I am determined that August pay will see a huge chunk off it too. No more frivolity!

Payday Monday thank goodness as we are away this weekend so can't spend it.

Thanks to you all, since christmas I have found pleasure in overpaying a loan, planned to pay off substantial debt with my inheritance and use some for house improvements, and I have taken on extra hours.
Pre you lot, none of that would have happened. Big thank you for your help in shifting my attitude from panic to positive.

Afternoon all...pay day been and gone, again lol...

All still on track here however I have booked a wee break for DS and I in Sept. It's between both our birthdays and I think we need some time just the 2 of us to make up for what x has done to us this year. I've budgeted for it during Jul/Aug/Sep and I've my nursery deposit to be returned so that will go to it too. I'm still overpaying loan and it will still be gone by Christmas ...

Free day out for us (except £2 parking). Met with friends, bike ride and picnic. Lovely.

I'm really enjoying not having the school run to do.

As it pissed down this afternoon I stayed in and made freezer soup. Very satisfying - although unlikely to be a hit in July .

Had the tokens in yesterday's Mirror to do the Aldi shop yesterday.

Whilst cooking I've been listening to Dave Ramsey. Such a fan of his methods (although I'm not religious).

Got a good cheap weekend coming up.

Feeling rather relaxed.

So good to hear that lots of you are getting there on both paying down the debt and learning to live within your means.
This will affect the rest of yours and your childrens' lives for the better.

One thing I am struggling with is this:

Blinds for my sons bedroom. He's 4yo.

He has 2 square windows (same size in the same wall)

I have blackout roller blinds from ikea (but they're a bit narrow)

Then I have some old curtains from my old house (brown). One was for patio doors; the other is the correct length. Behind them I have a blackout lining that hangs on the same rail.

Anyway....

I HATE these curtains (so does DH). They're a dreadful colour, the wrong length therefore look really odd in his room. They don't blackout very well and are a pain in the arse to position every night.

I really want to put roman blinds up. Can I find any suitable?? Can I heck.

Dunelm don't have any suitable blackout roman blinds for delivery or collection. They really don't.

Ikea don't do roman blinds. Debenhams don't.

I don't actually think my son cares but It's the thing in this house that I really really hate.

I'm really resisting ordering made measure due to ££££s

didyouevah I LOVE listening to Dave Ramsey - I always do when I'm cleaning/cooking/mindless computer tasks for work (at home, though!) DH hates him, he thinks I am totally crazy for listening to him

Did you...have you tried blinds2go?

We're going to need a new thread pronto!

Hi there I haven't been on for a while, dh been away so too much going on.
Today I received a lovely surprise cheque for £1900. It is from my grandfather although he died 20 years ago. It has been in trust until my GM dies but she has decided to give me & my siblings it now.
I have a credit card balance of 1100 and o/d of 250 so this would clear these and then we'd just have the big longer term debt to deal with.
Thing is I would feel so guilty using this to pay off debt especially as most if it was dh's. I'm sure my GM was hoping we could use it to help us in other ways, which we certainly could.
My car is old and costing alot in repairs so this would be a lovely amount to save towards a new one.
Then again the relief would be good of clearing some debt.

What would others do? I really don't know what to do for the best.

Jemster, I think you should pay the debt off. I know my granddad would be pleased that I will have peace of mind in my case. Then you can save for a car

Please fill this thread first
BUT
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

Jemster : clear debt. Do not give the banks money that your family have worked for

Blinds2go wanted £80 each! Just can't really justify it.

Didyouevah can you sew or do you have any friends or family who can sew?
roman blinds are really easy to make.
actually, you don't even need to sew c staple the batons to the fabric!
google "how to make roman blinds"

Hi everyone. So sorry to have vanished, I had a horribly busy month at work and wasn't posting much and lost this off my threads. Will read up to catch up with you all.

I did the stupidest thing on Tuesday. I had a couple of parking tickets, which I thought I had paid through my bank's bill pay. Either I didn't actually do it or it wasn't delivered (unlikely, but not impossible; I've had that once before with my bank). So I came out of work the other day and my car was gone. After 20 minutes of walking around wondering if I'd forgotten where I parked I called DH and he called around and it had been towed for unpaid tickets. With the tickets, fines, cab to the tow yard, and fee for the towing, the cost was a quarter of my monthly salary. DH was so nice about it that I just sat down and cried for about half an hour. So fucking stupid. I still can't believe it.

Other than that things are fine! Although Kinky I am getting stressed about Christmas too ... the amount I lost us on Tuesday would have covered Christmas presents for everyone completely. Oh well.

kazza and Winter and Imlike I am so so sorry about your DHs' job losses. That sounds awkward and insincere but I really am. I am in the US so it may feel different here than where you are all, but I feel like here we really haven't recovered from 2008, there's so much job insecurity and it is so stressful. I hope opportunities come up for them soon

Oh

Oh keatsie that's do annoying! Onwards and upwards - worse things happen at sea and all that but gah! I am impressed by your serenity over the matter.

My auntie who is over from Canada told me last night that she is glad that she chose to raise her DD in Canada as otherwise she might have had to live in a 'crappy little house' like me. Trying not to be offended. I often think that people don't spend to keep up with the Jones' but to stop the Jones' speaking to them like second class citizens, which isn't quite the same thing.

Omg MyGolden that is so rude! And downright mean, really. I was thinking about the friend you posted about recently too. I think your thought about the real motivation re: the Joneses is very very true.

And this ties into things I was thinking about the economy -- I feel like (here at least) most people have fallen on one side or the other: either you were lucky enough in your job/field to keep your job and advance in your field, or you were not. And if you were not, you're now years and years behind those who were. But no one talks about this, about how most of us were quite powerless as to how much the recession affected us. And so for those of us who were unlucky, it can feel like it's all personal failure on our parts. And to the lucky, it can really look like personal failure on our parts, b/c after all they have done well, why haven't we?

I do realize of course that debt is often a different matter involving nothing but bad/stupid personal decisions; that's certainly true for me. But worth noting that debt is tied also to income problems -- e.g., we have a car payment b/c we bought a new car. We didn't want a new car, but we didn't have enough money to buy a used one. So now we're spending much more over time, and are further in debt, b/c our income was too low to allow us to save up for a car. And so it goes. (And so ends my sociology rant, which I did not mean to sound self-pitying. Tbh. I am really happy with our life, and grateful for it. I just think it would be good if people would acknowledge that in these times hard work does not ensure you a lovely big house, and stop acting like it does.)

Ha, you wouldn't have thought I was serene at the time I had to walk 30 minutes to the police station in wet jungle-like heat in a work dress, furious and depressed and dying for water. By the time I got there my hair was as big as a house and I felt all bedraggled and shamed, like somehow I deserved to be poor and in debt b/c I wasn't capable of managing to pay my parking tickets properly like a classy person with nice normal hair.

Mygolden....I have an aunt like that :(
I have gone pretty much NC with her tbh.
Just too draining.

Thank you Keatsie So sorry to hear about your parking ticket, that is so annoying.

Mygolden how rude of your aunt. Some people don't seem to have any tact. Yes, in other countries you may get more house for your money, but at what price? Being away from family etc.? I've been told this by friends in Germany - and they mainly live in rented flats! But the rooms are much more spacious than in houses here. Hey, at least I still have a roof over my head (not sure how much longer at the rate we're going).

Keatsie totally agree about financial decision being tied to poor income. We have lived in villages for the last 16 years, meaning we needed a car because of poor public transport and like you never had the money to buy one up front, so had to lease/buy on finance. We were ripped off by the big used car retailer and only last year managed to finally pay off the finance on a car that is now worth about £1,000! Nothing special. BUT ... we had to live in villages, because we couldn't afford to live in the city, where we wouldn't need a car .... catch 22!

We have also made stupid decisions, not realising that our outgoings where higher than our income for years, trying to provide our children with fun outings and the occasional holiday ... Nothing extravagant like going abroad, no expensive cars, no designer clothes or jewellery, just a few too many takeaways and a general build up of spending slightly too much all the time, finished off with 5 redundancies on dh's part and short term contracts in between

Dh is finding very little to apply for at present, not sure if it's because it's the summer holidays.

Hope everyone is at least enjoying the sunshine. I have one more (very stressful) week and 2 days at work, then two weeks off to catch up on housework, gardening and time with my loved ones.

BOOM!