Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

he's only been there 2 months, pay until end of the day. hes already applied for quite a few jobs. Will be applying for JSA tonight for him and ringing tax credits and housing monday. I shouldn't drink but might have one tonight once DS is in bed.

Oh blimey. Chin up. Something good will come of it.

WinterLover, what a coincidence. Dh has only been in his job 2 months too He has his jsa interview on Monday.

so sorry winter, I'mliketotally really hope something comes up to help.

have had a shit month financially but it's all been stupid stuff like £90 dentist bill for broken tooth etc. At least I haven't added to the debt, but only managed to pay a small amount off. Onwards and Upwards!

So sorry winter and I'mLike* there is such a lack of job security now! it makes it really hard for any long term planning! financial fire fighting is then the order of the day.

Great news on your extra income kinky. I know I've said it before but worth saying again, a lot of the reason for our dramatic debt reduction this year has been down to extra income. My extra hours are about to come to an end so we'll have to work much harder to keep the figures coming down. Having said that, I still feel very motivated having seen the numbers improve so much.

Hello mammysin, welcome.
Winter, how horrible I'm so sorry. I was so fraught last year when this happened, it's like the floor goes beneath you.
I may have a change in hours and pay which is exciting but i need paid child care so I am doing sums this week. The extra stress would need to be worth it, so if I pay for child care one day a month I need to make double that at least. I'm worried about doing this when dd starts a new school.

He was out of work for 2 years prior to this one due to non sympathetic employer and the illness so he ended up being the stay at home parent whilst I worked.

He seems ok, I know we will cope as wedid prior to this job but its still a shock fingers crossed something comes up next week for him.

I'm so sorry Winter and Imlike. I honestly don't know what we would do if that happened to us.

£20.65 to last until Friday. This month has been a screw up!

Dh was out of work 10 months prior to this job.

Thoughts go out to those have have had the bad news re work...can totally empathise having been served redundancy notice earlier this year (albeit I have a temporary reprieve!).

I've started thing about what I can do once notice is officially received (18-24 months) so I'm fortunate to have some time to plan. Key thing is to rid myself of all consumer debt and make a good bash at the mortgage. I could then cope with redundancy money in the short/medium term...but looking at what type if thing I could do that will fit with DS school that way I will save in breakfast/after school club. So far have thought about childminding, driving instructor and digging out my nail technician/waxing stuff-perhaps even a combination of 2 if these. All will have start up costs of some description but I can plan for that...

Nails and waxing at home. Seriously, round here it's a really viable business - people have stopped going to salons but have got used to looking done.
Dm has agreed to support my job, if it happens, will be really hard to juggle but worth the additional work.
No news on the inheritance - it looks like it will be a cple months, and I will be able to save 700 PCM, meaning we can start paying the mortgage.
I've done all my Xmas shopping except the dcs , and birthday presents via sales and book shops.

Just to ad my tuppence.
When I was made redundant 1989 I vowed never to trust an employer again.
Since then I have only ever resigned from jobs - and always had a better one lined up.
OK, I'm an accountant which helps, but so are lots of people.

The folks on this thread have made HUGE steps in starting to make their own financial luck.
Time to start making employment luck
Nerf is utterly right : personalised service industries are the way to go
Think what skills you have and think how you could niche them into the lives of the money rich but time poor.

You will probably not be able to go fully self employed, but even a 25% income buffer that does not depend on others will make a mahoosive difference.

The trick to thinking outside the box is to first realise you are in a box.

Hmm, thinking of potential niches now...

It's all about the idea, I suppose.

Foodie peeps, I have had some excellent suggestions from you in the past. What can I do with a fairly empty fridge and cupboard and a load of courgettes? I have spices and onions aplenty but nothing tomatoey. Any magical ideas?

Do you have eggs?
Then frittata or grate and make courgette rosti with sweet chilli
or slice longways and bake with cheese

Ooh rosti! I even have a couple of rashers of bac

on. Just grate with onion and put in the oven? Or do I need to fry it up or anything?

Am I ok to join? I've been lurking for ages, not sure whether to post. My dh and I have a few debts from silly overspending before ds came along. We've worked hard to get back on the right track and have cleared one cc but still have a way to go. I'm going down to part time when maternity leave ends in September and could do with some company in being frugal!

Hi Vole! The more of us the better; it 's good to know you aren't the only one, everyone is very supportive and we steer each other away from spending.

Pixie, I hope you didn't go hungry waiting for an answer!

Hi All,

Sorry to hear about the redundancy Winter. My DH hadn't had a permanent job for four years before his current supply position took him on full time. It's been very hard, especially the last few years and it seems harder in retrospect iyswim - at the time we just got on with it. I'm sure you won't struggle for four years like us - just saying it can be survived and we still had happy times.

I'm doing okay. As you all know DH doesn't get his first proper pay till September 23rd so there will be no super debt pay off until Autumn. Just paying off slightly over minimum and not getting into more debt. Still waiting for exam marking money as I'm one of the naughty ones who didn't make their quota so I have to wait till last to be paid. It will all go on CC when it comes.

Met a friend for drinks on Thursday. She's recently become well off due to insurance pay out and inheritance and bought a very big house. I've noticed this a couple of times since the pay out and move but thought I was being sensitive but now believe that I am not. She was so superior and smug about her situation and so unsupportive about mine. I talked of my plans to move and while she agreed that my house was too small for my family said that my plans were 'merely hypothetical' and was quite haughty. She also said other things unmoney related (about my PND trigger which she understands very well) and I was quite taken aback. I've been really upset ever since. I'm used to being the poor friend but others are a bit more sensitive.

She's been unsuccessfully trying to conceive for quite a while and this seems to have made her a bit more anxious in general but I actually feel as though I don't want to see her again as the last three / four times that I've spoken to her I've felt rubbish about myself afterwards. I swear her voice has got posher!

mygolden I wouldn't see a "friend" like that, she sounds horrible!!

We had friends staying this weekend, it was very spendy in terms of buying in nice food and wine for them, but it was lovely and I got in a 4 mile walk before sunday lunch which I was very happy about.

I can't wait til payday, I've overspent drastically this month and doubt I'll have much to put off debt but at least I can get back on track. I'm off to my summer school on Sunday and will spend almost nothing there as it is in the middle of nowhere & all food etc is provided.

Thanks Peonies it's really been bothering me. Because I know that I'm quite sensitive to the fact that must of my friends are considerably better off materially and financially than me I kept telling myself that I was reading in to things and bring unreasonable. But I really didn't enjoy Thursday at all and so you're right - there is no point in being friends. I bit my tongue so many times ...

Good luck with the summer school. I have one myself the week after next ~ it's to welcome our new intake so they will be 10/11 ~ should be fun, and as you say it's also an opportunity not to spend as all is catered for.

As I'm flittering round here right now can I ask you all for advice?

We are planning to put our house on the market in July next year (so 12 months really). We already have deposit in the form of equity and I have worked out that I will need to save £5K for moving costs.

I have worked out that if I pay off £400 debt a m

Posted too soon!

A month then I will have reduced my debt to 3K which hopefully doesn't sound too bad to mortgage lenders as that would be entire debt on 0% CC with minimum payment of about £50 a month (although I will always pay over this and intend to have paid it off in full by following March - we may not even have moved by then anyway). I would have just about £5K saved at this point too.

What I'm wondering is from a mortgage lender's point of view would I be better having a bit more debt (say 4.5) and a bit more savings? Or is my current plan the sound one.