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Original poster

Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

999 replies

TalkinPeace · 25/04/2014 21:23

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

OP posts:
Baddderz · 22/07/2014 18:10

I am halfway through a 2 week quarantine with post op ds2 which seems to have coincided with the hottest week of the year so far :(
He is only 5 so doesn't understand the concept of rest!
It will be a year in Sunday so be my dad died.
And I am sick....utterly sick of having no money.
It's insane.
Dh earns a good wage.
It shouldn't be like this :(

MyGoldenNotebook · 22/07/2014 19:32

Bad and Kinky - just to say that o often feel as you do. I too feel like DH and I work so hard , earn above average etc but struggle. Sometime I find myself wishing my lovely DD's baby / toddlerhood away as the child care is so utterly crippling (£800 a month!!). The nursery is lovely but almost all my friend have GPs who do all childcare and I feel green with envy on a number of levels. I want to cry it's not fair!

But TIP is so right. We have to be positive and move forward - even if sometimes it feels like two steps forward one step back. I bought my house in August 2007! We will be lucky if we only loose £5k on it when we sell (hopefully next year)

Pixie I've only got about a fiver in the bank till Friday too.

pixiestix · 22/07/2014 20:00
Grin
KinkyDorito · 22/07/2014 20:22

Thanks talkin I'm just having one of my regular whinges Grin. It keeps me from feeling so, so fed up in real life that I break the card out and book a holiday. This is what I would have done in the past.

pixie bugger! It is just shit isn't it? I would say lentil soup but it is so warm. Onions, celery, carrots and red lentils. Nearly pay day.

Yep, My, we bought on a 100% mortgage in October 2007. I feel your pain. We are probably still in negative equity too.

KinkyDorito · 22/07/2014 20:23

badderz no it shouldn't be like this.

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 22/07/2014 20:26

Kinky
And much MUCH better that you winge at me who can log out any time than at your family who have to live with knowing the full reality.

You made mistakes.
You have learned from them.
It will get better. But it takes time - more time than you ever feel like it should.

OP posts:
MyGoldenNotebook · 22/07/2014 20:36

:)

Baddderz · 22/07/2014 20:37

Kinky, yes, it's a hard mindset to get out of isn't it?
Sod it, put it on the card...
I almost bought 2 new sofas yesterday Blush
I didn't though :)
I have been doing something else new too...in the sales like the next sale etc I have been filling a basket with stuff but then going away and sleeping on it.
In every case I have emptied the basket the next day!
I already have most of ds2s Xmas gifts and b day gifts.

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 22/07/2014 20:41

FWIW my credit card is on stop at the moment as I've bought some flights and the ferkin bank miscoded my payment to get the balance down so I'm maxed out! first time in 16 years - surreal not beaing able to spend Grin

Badderz
Learning that you want to be "out of debt" more than you want 2stuff" is a massive leap. WEll done

OP posts:
Nerf · 22/07/2014 21:48

Pixie - I totally do that. Toast and pasta is fine and so much better psychologically than spending on the credit card. Credit cards should be big ticket items , not bloody food! Cannot believe I have ended up like this.
Still, small steps cover miles eventfully. And are less tiring.

MyGoldenNotebook · 23/07/2014 06:25

Can anyone help?

CTC sent me a letter (you may remember) saying we weren't getting any money this year. Fair enough - we're earning too much now and it's nice not to be on benefits especially as they are so unreliable.

So I signed up to child care vouchers and as of last month they are in place. Any way a few weeks ago I got a random payment from CTC. At the time I thought this must be the last bit of money they owed me but got another one today. Obviously I am going to ring them today and give it to them back (will also have to arrange giving then the other bit of money back too!!). But ... How can they have done this? And will I get into trouble as I've had one set of childcare vouchers in the mean time? Agh ....

MyGoldenNotebook · 23/07/2014 08:27

Rang them - they don't think they've made an error but wouldn't share any details with me. All very cryptic. I've told them about DH's new job so now we're getting a new notice. I just know we're going to end up owing them loads and now I'm going to have to wait until I receive their updated notice before I ring child care vouchers to tell them I'm no longer eligible! I find the whole thing so anxiety making. She was so unhelpful when I asked what I should do and said I had to managed my own affairs. Would admit no mistake their end!

If it isn't one thing it's a bloody other!

KinkyDorito · 23/07/2014 09:49

I hated CTC with a passion when we were on them. I never trusted what I was getting as, inevitably, they would renew and I would owe them something. I'm surprised it is that bloody hard to get right in the first place! The whole thing is, as you say My, cryptic!!

KinkyDorito · 23/07/2014 09:50

Keep all paper work as evidence!

MyGoldenNotebook · 23/07/2014 10:39

I know I was quite pleased when I thought I no longer qualified as there was worry every year. Every notice has been amended - it's never been quite right teacher pay is quite transparent and I always used my P45 to renew so I've never had any idea how they could have got it wrong. Their customer service team always speak to you like a naughty child I find too and they always sound so smug even they say 'sorry I can't give you that information' - why bloody not?

Sorry I'm projecting - it doesn't sound like a nice place to work. The line is so busy they must be frazzled and they're only following a script.

It really is just so badly organised and has caused me, and almost everyone I know who has kids, so much stress over the years.

Hope I get the letter soon and can just sort it out :(

MyGoldenNotebook · 23/07/2014 10:41

I threw all the bloody paper work out in a mad cleaning frenzy as I thought I was done with them

Didyouevah · 23/07/2014 17:01

Oh that's a good point actually. How long should tax credits stuff be kept for? I haven't claimed in 18months.

Didyouevah · 23/07/2014 17:09

Everything ok here at the mo. Not much to report. Except all debt now on 0%. Stoopid car gone. After Friday we'll have 3ccs and a sofa finance. Total debt will be about 22.5k (down from 45k) Shock. We're paying over 1k a month so really should be done in 18 months. Not overwhelming though as one of our cars should be worth over 10k if we needed to sell.

Baddderz · 23/07/2014 17:12

Wow...that's amazing progress! Well done! :)
I am going to look for work. No other option really.
Also going to try and stop spending!
Easier said than done the next few months, but got to try.

Didyouevah · 23/07/2014 17:15

Thanks. Should never have got so much in the first place. Never again!

Baddderz · 23/07/2014 17:22

Our debt is £9k and going down.....
Not quick enough though :)

Thenemesisofthevole · 23/07/2014 22:45

Sorry to have posted and run the other night; my ds has been poorly. The debt we have is credit card and loan. We are managing repayments and our credit rating is ok but want to get rid of the debt asap as it would make life much easier. I managed to resist temptation in the sales yesterday: I didn't buy a reduced handbag I would have normally put on the credit card, so I think that;'s progress!

pixiestix · 24/07/2014 19:58

So chuffed. I listed a couple of girls bundles on EBay and didn't sell them even after relisting. Thought I would try something different so I broke them down into individual outfits and sold the lot! Woo hoo! Every penny eats into that debt Smile

KinkyDorito · 25/07/2014 08:12

Payday - that came and went before 8am!!!!

I've looked back over what we've achieved in the last few months and it is a good amount off the debt. It's still hard to acknowledge how far there is to go yet.

I think I'm very conscious that this month will be difficult because of summer and then we're onto the Christmas stretch. I'm certainly going to be more careful this year with spending on that.

Hoping by this time next year things will look much brighter.

And this is a Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks for this thread as it is good to have somewhere to keep coming back to and know we aren't alone in doing this.

KinkyDorito · 25/07/2014 08:13

pixie well done on ebay victory! Grin