Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

She hardly Skypes and only when he is there, she copies him into all her emails, says it's habit when I asked why. I've been worried for a while so if she is now reaching out I have to go and see if there is anything I can do to support her. Maybe nothing I can do - but I have good friends over there and can make a proper holiday of it get more free accommodation

So, halfway through the year today. My targets on 1st Jan were:
Idealistic target to pay off - £6000
Realistic target to pay off - £2370
Actual amount paid off - £1520

Ick. I feel a bit sick about it. SMP kicks in this month so I'll be on minimum payments on the CCs until March/April now. No pay at all from December. The challenge now is going to be to not use the cards EVER rather than paying them down. I have buggered up this year big time.

Oh okay Talkin, never really understood them anyway!
Pixie - I think you have done really well. If you hadn't set a target where would you be?

Thanks Nerf I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the abyss right now but the last six months have been good training mentally for the next six, even if I haven't utilised them to the max.

It's true Pixie you should be too hard on yourself. Getting on top of debt and changing spending habits is really hard. I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be either, but I'm also damn sure that I'm in a better place than I would have been if I hadn't started this.

I too will be paying minimum payments for the next few months as DH has got a new teaching post starting in September, and after his last supply cheque on the 1st August he won't get paid again until the 23rd of September! So minimum payments till then. I think when you're in difficult financial circumstances like we are, paying the minimum and crucially not getting into more debt is good going. If you have locked your CC payments at just above minimum even better.

And of course, being on SMP you may have to use the CC at some point, but you'll be doing it mindfully (and hopefully not on Baby Joules or similar like I did when on ML. Idiot!). and with the knowledge that as soon as your earning properly again you will up the CC payments.

That should say you shouldn't be too hard on yourself!!!

I'm watching 'the men who made us spend'. It's so interesting... Just how much of our debts are psychological?

You're worth it, deserve it now etc etc

My DH has agreed to the stoopid car going (hoorah) thus halving our debt from £45k to 20k (gulp) but he honestly thinks it would be justified if he had a longer commute to work

It matters not a jot as he doesn't commute and the car is going, but honestly - that's just crazy talk!

Look right now. I just can't get over how fabulous that will be for you. The important thing is that you have both agreed - if dh did have a longer commute you would have that conversation , so maybe easier to just leave him thinking he would have the car for a longer journey? Because that's not a real situation right now?
Pixie, if you manage to just buy essentials and not frilly bits you will have done well.

I know. I'm hoping the rest of the 20k (ish) will be paid back within 2 years.

This debt will still include 2 lower value cars. So at least there's some 'equity' or assets that could be sold if necessary.

I can't wait for stoopid car to go. Just waiting for number plate stuff to come through then it's gone.

Well, no holiday for us this year either :(
Ds2 is having his tonsilectomy on 15th so we will be in quarantine for 2 weeks after that.
They so deserve a holiday after the year we have had, but there you go.
Life's a bitch.
Dh and fil may take ds1 to Paris for 2 days and sil and I may take ds2 to see the science museum in London one day but that'll be it.
Sofas are buggered...and look awful but I will just put the throws on them and hide the worst of it.
It seems insane that dh works as hard as he does and yet...we can't even afford a bloody week away.
Really interesting thread on here a few days ago that said families with 2 kids need £40k PA to cover "basic needs"
Well, dh earns £50k and it only just covers our outgoings and debt repayments.
We don't drink, don't smoke, my car is 9 years old and we own it.
Dh has a company car.
No pets, no expensive hobbies.
Just mortgage, utilities and food.
I know the loan will be paid off in 2.10 years but...seems a long time.
Food...gone up 28% on average
Utilities...gone up 35% on average
Sigh.

badvoc just think of the extra you'll have once debt is gone. We really feel that atm, all our extra is going on debt so we feel really squeezed, but that money will be "ours" when we are debt free, and it will all start building from there: savings, more treats, hopefully a house deposit.

It'll be another 8 months at least before we're completely debt free (I reckon we'll be shot of credit cards by xmas, but then we have a car on HP which I want to pay for in full) so it's a long haul, but it'll be worth it in the end.

MissAnnersley and Badvoc
It is so, so true. A couple of years of REALLY working hard at it

• changing habits
• learning frugality
• being careful

will get you not only debt free, but able to stay debt free.

At my peak I was paying £300 a month to service debts (and this is 16 years ago) other than the mortgage
The day they hit zero, that £300 a month became mine
so I upped my spending by £150 a month and put £150 a month into savings

its is worth it
you are worth it

Already counting down to the end of the month. Talk about wishing your life away!

I've done it I've just paid off £140 and closed a store card. Other debts will still only get £30 between them this month but will be increasing that to between £180 and £240 depending on DPs overtime such a relief to get rid of that one as its being stressing me out so much!

Well done!

Fantastic, well done Winter!! Quiet couple of weeks for me...missing ma boy who is with xp for a bit longer this week due to his mother visiting. I've also been. Juror on a particularly nasty high court case back to normal from today though! Just bought my juju needs for this week for a princely 17pnds oh and a well deserved bottle of red.

Budgets and envelopes all on track-should have some excess food budget which will make overpayment to personal loan...

Happy Friday everyone

Juju needs?! Lol juicing needs - I'm on a juicing detox lol

Laughing my socks off at "juju needs" I'm imagining a line on YNAB for voodoo dolls and ceremonial skulls.

Hi all, just checking in as I haven't posted in ages, been marking my little socks off but all done now. All but £600ish of the money has been received and divvied up in YNAB.

Haven't paid any extra over to debts yet. Have built emergency fund to £500 but advice seems to be to build it to £1k so am thinking when remaining monies come in I will allocate it that way and if no emergencies come along I'll stop funding it monthly and pay more to debts each month instead.

Have "caught up" on Xmas fund which I only started funding in March and paid car MOT bill of £250 without a credit card and without tears! Worked out I have paid around £440 in a year for car repairs so am now funding a category in ynab with £40 a month for that eventuality.

Feels so good to have the emergency/Christmas/car buffers in place. Debt is reducing at £650 per month and I'm going to look at this over the summer hols and see if I can increase the amount, with the knowledge that I have back up fund for months where things go wrong.

No idea why it took me until age 40 to learn how to manage money!

But you have learned!
Well done.

It all sounds super organised ishe - good stuff! When's your holiday? Something to look forward to. GCSE marking is trying to kill me today...

Kinky
How are you doing. Can you set yourself positive non monetary goals for each week to take your mind off the debt and let you destress from the marking.
Silly things like blitzing a cupboard or going for a walk .... but you need to NOT focus on payday.

Fed up, Talkin. I've never been so close to sending the marking back. I'm really struggling because we've had so many long days at work so I've had less and less time to get it done. Now I'm trying to cram it in at weekend and feel sick from lack of a break for weeks now. All I keep thinking about is the money though, but it is making me ill. (I have fibro and it is off the scale at the moment.) Big sigh.

((((( Kinky )))))
Hang on in there if you possibly can.
Schedule it - how many papers have you done, how many more do you have to do, what is the deadline?
I know its shitty working on the weekend but IT WILL STOP SOON
and the money will help.
If nothing else you now know not to agree to nearly as many papers next summer - if at all
so its part of the bigger scale learning process of turning yourself around.

Kinky - next Friday, can't wait!

How many papers are left? You can do it, it will be over soon x