Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

TiP yes! DH was quoted about £150 more to renew with his car insurance people than to move - when he quoted the price suddenly they could drop it after all! We still went with the new company as they went even lower

woop! mum4 enjoy that spanking new carpet!

Our floors upstairs are all untreated wooden boards, the previous tenant has stained and destroyed them, we are hoping to sand and paint in summer, using a play resource centre where paint is soooo cheap like £1 a pot. I was there earlier in the year they had 5L of floor paint for £2.50, obv no choice on colour but I only want white/off white/grey or some other non-offensive neutral.

Hello all, is there a space for a newbie?
I don't owe a huge amount but I have a small income and, as yet am not really sure about what I do owe.
I have been running my finances using the ostrich approach for years but a number of things have triggered a sense of panic and realisation that I have to get honest with myself and face up to it.
I am on my own with my DD and get no support from her Dad, I work 5 days a week but not full time hours or high income. I didn’t tell the council about a change of job, I told the Tax credit people and just forgot the council, and am waiting to hear how much I have to payback but I know it will be a lot and life will be even tighter than it was before. I have a bank loan that I am paying off and a CC that I pay the minimum each month and am paying off arrears in some utility bills.
I don’t have a budget or any kind of management system and to be honest get a bit panic stricken at the thought of starting as I know it won’t be good or easy.
My job for the weekend is to at least make a start.

Welcome AboutTime...and well done for recognising that you need a bit of support-that's a huge step in itself!!

You should maybe start by drawing up a proper budget...everything coming in and everything going out. Then prioritise your debts...tackle one at a time and make minimum payments to everything else. Then start to trim your budget...look for anywhere you can make a saving.

A quick update: dh got paid today and ds paid us his rent. Last month was tough due to dh only receiving part wage as started job half way through the month, we did have to dip into our Barclays overdraft again. However, I am delighted to see today that we have only been charged £4.73 in interest (usually twenty odd quid), so not too bad. I have now paid off the overdraft again, but will no doubt have to dip into it towards the end of the month again, but hope I can whittle away at it slowly.

Thank you Mum4
I have been reading back over this thread and that in it's self has been good. Lots of inspiring stories and helpful advice.
I will start on the budget this weekend.

andabouttime
Welcome to the gang. This is a good place to be to sort stuff out.
First off - get that credit card direct debit changed into a standing order (put your numbers into my spreadsheet to see why)
Then download the budget spreadsheet and start putting your numbers in bit by bit.

kazza
do you REALISE how far you have come to be quantifying why and how much you are dipping into the red in a month. A mahoosive leap in the right direction. Well done.

Thanks TiP Yes, I am desperate to get things paid off and keeping a very close eye on our accounts and our money. The only thing I struggle with is still spending too much on food. However, I'm proud of the fact that I've cut back everywhere else and am buying as cheap as I can, i.e. no luxury beauty products etc.

Hello all. Kazza , no advice on the overdraft, but we managed to slowly get from 3000 to 300 , going into it less each month. Maybe when you have built up an emergency fund you will be able to do that?
This month we have 700 after debts and bills. Which has to pay for uniform (grammar, specific) and a new toilet (broken, managed two weeks so far) and my birthday. So I am hoping to pay another 100 off my loan.

Nerf, it's just normal spending taking us into the overdraft - but then normal spending seems to include something extra every month, like car tax, mot etc. I think I need to get the overdraft paid off first so that we are living within our means and then build up my emergency fund.

I am so impatient and have a few little debts, like 350 on one cc and 400 on a store card that I want to clear, but have to rein myself in and concentrate on the overdraft first, as we have frozen interest on everything except the overdraft and Barclays just increased their interest charges. However also need to chip away at mortgage arrears too.

I do think we will dip into the overdraft less this month though, as dh has received his full pay, I will get slightly more as I've worked more hours. Hopefully no big outgoings.

Could you open a new account? Dh has an overdraft of 4000 and has just opened an account with my bank (no overdraft facility) and pays 50 a month to slowly clear the other one.

Yes, we do have another account that we use for every day stuff, dds etc, but I am trying to pay off the overdraft on the other account. I've thrown every last penny at it and got it down from the original £1800 to 0 last month, before having to dip back in, but still only up to £750 overdrawn, so quite proud.

Can you reduce the limit as you go to stop you dipping into it? Just leave yourself a small buffer ...

That's a good idea, I hadn't thought about that. I will call the bank next week and reduce it. I don't want to use it, but things are very uncertain jobwise for dh at the moment and as I can't borrow elsewhere I don't want to do away with the overdraft completely.

marking place. we need to get it together.

Well done kazza, sometimes it's so bloody overwhelming we forget how well we've done long term.
This month, for example, I am using real money for the replacement toilet.

GCSE marking is trying to KILL me. I swear.

Kinky. As someone wise once said "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming".

All our pay is in for the month. Direct debits all coming out Tuesday. Doing a budget review this weekend. I can't believe we are halfway through the year. I have done SO much worse than I intended

Yes what else can you do? Keep swimming. Maybe we need a nemo emoticon for encouragement...
Today I owe 100 less than I did yesterday to my loan. I still owe 4700. But in six months, if I keep swimming, I will owe a lot less - the repayments are 163, an extra 100 a month means it will be about 3500 ish. Six months I can swim for.

Ok a bit of a breakthrough here.

Stoopid big expensive car is being handed back this week with no excess/loss/profit. We walk away.

Dh has agreed to have a second car that costs all of 4k . This is a huge deal.

This will mean one debt will be cut from20k to 4k. Eek!

Oh my god! That is fantastic

Yeah. He's pissing me off for a million different reasons right now but jeez we've come a long way with this one.

That's great!

It is BUT I'm going to bludgeon him to death with a wine bottle. I think it's justified.

I started talking and he kept typing... Ok I give him a minute...

I start taking then he starts fucking typing again.

He's such a git. I'm going to have to ltb aren't i?

Hi All,

Just wanted to check in. It's been pay day so I'm back at the beginning of another month and I WILL stick to budget. Saying that I feel that I should admit that I bought bit one but two M&S bras in the sale yesterday. They were needed (only has two bras left that fit and hadn't gone 'bad' - and both of these in dark colours) but I could have managed without. Very pretty Autograph ones with 50% off. On a more positive note, my child are vouchers look set to kick in this months which should really help.

Kazza one option is to transfer your overdraft onto a 0% credit card. I have done this and set up a standing order to pay it off £200 a month. You have to close down the overdraft facility after this of course. I found it impossible to pay it off when I has it despite all my promises. But I have quite poor will power when it comes to money. Although I'm slowly getting better. As I paid off my other small overdraft last month, this will be the first month in about 12 years that I haven't paid overdraft fees.

In other news have finished my AQA marking. I marked less scripts than I planned but I should still have enough to pay off my smallest credit card (£160) and I've decided to use the rest as rainy day money over the summer. We'll need it as DH won't warn for 5.5 weeks.

My FIL has got in touch today to say he wants to take us to Centre Parcs for fours days. He's well off and will pay the accommodation fees. And while I'm very pleased and think it's a lovely thing to do, I do worry about how much we'll spend on food etc while there. I think most activities are extra too aren't they? I know I sound ungrateful but DH won't get his first new job paycheck until the end of September. So after he gets paid on the 1st of August he won't get paid again for what, nine weeks!

I've been feeling low and very snappy last few days as work has been so stressful and after I posted off my last parcel of marking I could have collapsed with tiredness. It didn't help when my mum got all snooty with me today about a family BBQ that I didn't feel up to attending. Why does everything have to be so awkward? Sometime I feel like I move from one tiresome scenario to the next.

Anyway, hope you ladies are enjoying the sunshine. I'm off to have a sherry x