Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

How is everybody doing?
Its the summer holidays brewing and its time to turn thoughts to days out that cost diddly squat rather than the OFFENSIVE costs of theme parks and the like.

I'm in a massive funk.

Feel like I have no control over anything and it's really getting me down. Money, weight, home, work, life.

Too much stuff to juggle all of the time makes for a chaotic and joyless existence. This is why I've overspent in the past - cheer us up. Now I'm not doing that either.

Kinky I'm so sorry. I know that feeling. I've had it some recently (though tbh. I'm pretty sure it's mainly PMS). I wish I had something to suggest to cheer you up, but from reading up a bit it sounds like you've made a ton of progress actually. I think one of the mental difficulties in paying down large debt is that it takes a long time for progress to feel like progress -- there's such a long time of living frugally and still being in debt. Yes, less debt than each month or year before, and that is so good, but I am very familiar with the fact that b/c debt disappears so slowly you can't really feel it going away from day to day. Sometimes it seems like all you do feel from day to day is an ongoing awareness of all the things you can't do.

But, well, this feeling will ease up eventually ... and one day the debt will be gone

You have really hit the nail on the head there Keatsie.

I'm panicking quietly. My maternity payments drop right down in mid August and our frugal life will get even more tough. I haven't used two good wages as I should have done all these years so we gave no buffer or emergency find at all. I am burying my head in the sand as much as I can but the terror is just starting to creep in.

*have not gave. Stupid fat fingers.

Keatsie. I think you are right.

I am actually giving serious thought to how I can improve daily life and make myself a bit happier just generally.

kinky / pixie

your posts struck a nerve and I remembered how I felt when the bank just went back to zero at payday, rather than overdrawn.
Its shit isn't it.
BUT
You have both made an active decision to make it short lived shit.
If you had carried on hiding your heads in the sand, you'd have still been in shit till your kids leave school
as it is they may never remember the shit days (as mine do not)

you will be , and it will make you make them, more resilient financially

so
hang on in there as it IS worth it
remember this about a LOT more than credit cards
its about living within your means for the rest of your life, such that once the shitty debt is cleared, saving up for a treat will feel like a doddle

DH to you ... holy crap, remember the month when we paid £400 off debts AND put £75 towards a holiday ...
now we put £475 towards a holiday

Life gets good but you get there by getting real
and you are ALL DOING SO WELL : please do not lose faith in yourselves.
I have faith in you and will support you with all my yoga muscles

Hey all, had to NC due to potential outage earlier! Was MissAismyhero before...

I am feeling ok, had a spendy month but no new debt and put a good chunk off debt. Payday tomorrow and will be paying all bills before putting another chunk off the penultimate CC. Hoping it will be gone by July 25th leaving us with only 1 CC to go!

I love everything about your post TiP. Thank you

Pixie
as you may have gathered, my desire / need to help you all is quite visceral.

It took me three years to recover from one drunken afternoon shopping on a store card
I find it unbelievable that they were allowed to sign up somebody who was swaying pissed

My first memory of this country was giving a bank a hard time

and now as a middle aged accountant with no debts I regard it as almost a duty to show others the way to avoid my pitfalls
especially as the housing markey has UTTERLY shat on anybody under 33

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I WILL crack open the fizzy the day each of you hit zero unsecured debts
because you ARE worth it

How do others manage with paying for all the house stuff that needs doing, repair & maintenance, and also find the money to put towards paying off debt?

I currently pay £50 a month off my 1200 credit card and what I can off my overdraft. We also pay 180 to the CCCS each month. We have so many little things that need doing around the house and always things for the dc that we hardly have any extra money left to throw more at the debts. Also had lots of car problems lately so more costs there.

At this rate our dc will be grown up before we pay off the debts and I still feel they have to miss out on some things while thet are growing up. Feeling so fed up by it all.

Talkin, as always .

Jemster, tbh, I don't - my house looks shit. I think we are going to start budgeting a small amount each month (maybe £25) until it builds up so that we can do something. I have broken stuff and grim carpets/curtains, a broken garage roof - just loads really. I keep trying to ignore it. I am embarrassed to let people in . I feel the same as you - it is really tough.

Hi Jemster...totally understand and empathise...I've taken a break from debt overpayments this month and invested in a new bedroom carpet-I decorated it all myself in a small budget (paint was left overs from sis, equipment from Dad, dyed tired bedding) so carpet was a real treat. Next focus is CC2 which when repaid in full I'll take a month break and will do another house improvement thing. I see it as my reward

Same here Jemster. We do nothing to the house Can't even afford a tin of paint. The carpet is awful and ruined, the garage door broken, the kitchen floor awful, it all needs painting, skirting boards are scuffed. I'm going to try to put a small amount away for things like that, but it'll only be £10 a month for now.

Our house is okay at the moment. But the lean to leaks in winter and the skirting is all peely. I use magic eraser for clean walls and a steam cleaner for tiles to try to make it nice.

By the way, if any needs a free teeny treat I have just finished a Linwood Barclay paperback, a vegetarian with a vengeance cookbook and The Girl on the Stairs. I am very happy to jiffy bag them second class to anyone (free obviously!!) - also ds refuses to read Michael morpurgos the white horse of zennor.

Houses : yup, I lived with a kitchen built from scrap wood and then a bathroom that I hated so much I painted over the tiles - for 12 years
keep it CLEAN and then describe it all as shabby chic, pre distressed
but seriously, clean and tidy is all people worry about rather than tatty (well sane people anyway)

and remember, that if you keep locking the amounts and not letting the bastard banks control payments, you'll get those debts cleared in not many years at all.
HONEST

Thanks TIP, what exactly does it mean to lock down payments?

Jemster
Have a look at the spreadsheets thread in the opening post ....
if you convert the direct debits into standing orders, the repayment term on things like credit cards crashes from 18 years to 2.
It looks like magic, but it works.

Hello, can I join you? I need a thread like this, as I currently owe 14.5k, all on credit cards. It's almost entirely legal fees because of a family law case.

Anyway, sympathy for the gloom people were expressing yesterday. I'm pissed off that I'm 40 and still renting, and it's going to be years before I can afford a mortgage, and each year that passes means that the mortgage term available is shorter, assuming I ever get one.

But I also feel a weight off my shoulder having confronted my debts. And getting the regular "Martin's Money Tips" email is wonderful. Following its advice, I've been able to move all my credit card debt to 0% interest cards, and just today I've found out I was on the wrong tax code so will be due a rebate.

Hi Biblio, and welcome! I was renting up til I was 44 so fear ye not!!! Getting you debt under control and out of the way will get you in the right mindset to get you that house!!

Hi Mum, that's encouraging, thanks! I like hearing about other older first-time buyers. I remember Kirsty on LLL scolding someone in his late 20s for being so backward in getting on the property ladder and I wanted to throw something at her.

biblio
Getting the debts all onto 0% is EXCELLENT : now lock your monthly payments at last month's figure and you'll have them gone faster than you can envisage.
Buying houses late : different things suit different people.
lots of ex forces people do not buy until they leave and decide to settle somewhere.

MONEY SAVING TIP EXTRAORDINAIRE
I just renewed my house insurance.
The renewal notice was just under £450
I went to their website and got a quote for just over £300
they honoured it and admit that renewals are ALWAYS more expensive than new quotes.

Hi TiP, thanks! I've been reading through the threads and am interested in your point about direct debits v. standing orders. I think this is something I could do.

Yes, part of my delay in buying has been due to moving jobs/countries a few times. I don't regret that, really - just the time and money wasted on an acrimonious divorce...

Sat listening to the delicate hammering of new bedroom carpet going down my wee reward for tackling my debt and getting rid of OD, CC1 and store card! Back on it big time next month...that bank loan WILL be cleared by December!!!